To think the notion of a "Birthday BJ" shouldn't exist.

[MySordidCakeSecret]

just that really.. does anyone else have to deal with this bright idea?

I agree that no one should feel pressured into anything, but, on the other hand, I feel a wee bit sorry for your dp that you've decided because you've had two kids and been together a while that you're not interested any more.

DH has never requested it, but I'm not sure I see the difference between that and asking if you'd like to go out for lunch/rub his feet/go to an aeroplane museum that you find deadly dull.
Happy to have it explained a bit more.

I don't mind bj and steak day, although it's massively sexist. Luckily my husband is quite the feminist so I get chocolate and cunnilingus (sp?) day

Even more luckily, we don't just save it for 1 day of the year

Yuk! (Not the bj, the concept of birthday sexual favours.)

"The only response to crap like this is "piss off""

Yup

RoganJosh, because sex is something you do freely and enthusiastically together, not a favour.

It has never happened in my house ever and never will.
If I wanted to I would but I don't so I won't. Fortunately none of my three husbands has ever suggested it. Just why? Why would anyone want to do that?

Though I feel sorry for your dh that he feels that this is only a yearly treat!

but you see I think it is attitudes like this that feed the 'entitled' 'poor me' attitude of some men.

I am sure there are lots of ways OP shows her DH she loves him, and treats him, throughout the year. Him saying as it is his birthday she should do something she wouldn't usally do, and won't enjoy, is just awful.

Nice attitude OP.

Imagine it the other way around:

"My DH hasn't been showing me any interest for a while so last night, on my birthday, i cuddled up to him and suggested we had sex. He responded by laughing in my face, saying i must be fucking joking, then went on his lads forum and posted about what a ridiculous idea I had and how he shouldn't have to deal with it."

What sort of responses would that get on here?

Poor bloke.

Yes, what an absolutely exact parallel McColonel.

Just to clarify, im not saying you should have given him a BJ if you didn't want to, but making a massive joke out of it and humiliating the poor bloke isn't nice. Men have feelings too you know.

Trying to coerce someone into a sex act is a really erotic thing to do

If you don't like doing it, don't do it. Birthday or no birthday.

If he says you used to like it just say, 'well I don't any more' and let that be an end to it.

Would he be happy for you to stick a dildo up his arse on your birthday if it turned you on?

Thought not...

For some people that may be the only option left to them VagueIdeas

Oh, that poor, poor man who doesn't get blowjobs, he will surely wither and die, because, as we all know, men desperately need blowjobs to survive.

Seriously. Are men not even content with PIV anymore?

I have no desire for a dick in my mouth, that will never change, and if a man can't live with that, he can fuck off.

I wouldn't dream of bullying someone I allegedly love into doing something sexual they don't want to do.

It is creepy how many presumably female users here think that they "owe" their partners sex.

From the men, I don't even expect any better at this point. I have given up on them.

@McColonel: Yes, and there is a word for those who go through with it: Rapists.

Men are not entitled to sex. Deal with it.

Fairenuff you're missing the point. Its the manner of the refusal rather than the refusal which is likely to have pissed him off. Men have pride and being humiliated is not nice.

Save your pixels, Vestal - McColonel is about this charming in every post he's made so far on MN..

I am making a valid point, don't be so defensive.

We both say this kind of thing as a joke

what?

are you a man colonel

In what way am i making this into a joke..

and the reason i want to leave this birthday bj in the past.. is because i actualy feel less inclined to do it because of the expectation around it.

that's the part i don't like. I don't often give oral because i don't like it. But i don't like receiving either so it's not like it's all one sided. But when the pressure is put on it makes me nervous and just feel wierd about it and puts me in a bad mood if anything.

@OneMore: So, we have another troll? Good to know. Though it cannot be said often enough:

Men are not entitled to sex

There. Maybe I should cross-stitch it on a towel or something.

and colonel you are making presumptions anyway, i didn't say i wasn't interested in him and we don't do anything sexual, it's just blowjobs.

Seriously. Are men not even content with PIV anymore?

As much as I don't think anyone should be pressured into doing sexual 'favours', I still think that's a really weird question

Lots of people both male and female have always enjoyed oral sex and no doubt they will continue to.

It doesn't mean they aren't content with other forms of sex, does it?

A spunk towel?

OP, as ever, do not do any sex act you are uncomfortable with. Does your DP know you don't really like it any more? If so and he's pressuring you, then that's bad.