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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is unacceptable

353 replies

mileend2bermondsey · 22/11/2015 20:32

Just found out that in my hometown high school PE activities are still split by gender. The boys do football and rugby, the girls do netball and hockey. When the girls do dance, the boys do tennis. I cant believe this seperation is still going on without question.

Apparantly if a child 'kicks up a fuss' about wanting to do a sport of the opposite gender they will be allowed to do it but would be the only boy or girl in the class, hence hardly any do.

I think this is outrageous, all children should be taught all sports available as standard. Why is a seperation based on gender neccessary, and why is this still going on?

OP posts:
Original poster
mileend2bermondsey · 22/11/2015 21:57

Physically challenging sports are what men do
Good grief, what else do men do that women shouldnt according to you? Work? Drive? Vote?

OP posts:
pinotblush · 22/11/2015 21:57

Girls can. Schools do what they do. As I said before if your child wants to do anything other than the normal then find it outside the curriculum. Its not about the few at school its about the majority.

Original poster
mileend2bermondsey · 22/11/2015 21:59

Mehitabel6
So because you personally wouldnt have liked it no females should have the opportunity to participate in it? Im sure there are plenty of boys that dont like rugby, they get told to buck up and get on with it, as should any girls complaining about it IMO.

OP posts:
pinotblush · 22/11/2015 21:59

I have no idea why you have to say things like that OP.. Im pretty secure being a woman and love the fact I am.

Italiangreyhound · 22/11/2015 22:00

Boys are generally physically stronger than girls and often taller and heavier, although not necessarily taller prior to puberty. It seems perfectly reasonable to me that sports be separated by sex. I would not want my daughter playing rugby with boys, and I am guessing many other parents would not either. But if she felt a great desire to play rugby then I would be more than happy for her to play in a girls rugby team.

CandyCaneCottage · 22/11/2015 22:00

Was made to do dance and hated it so did 99% of the other boys in my year, whilst you could say it was because we were conditioned to think we didn't like it I don't think so. My school had the 9 weeks compulsory rugby because they said they were competitive at county level some liked it some hated it. At a youngish age I think conditioning works at a point where you may be hesitant to try it but once you're doing it if you like it you forget about it.

mrsjanedoe · 22/11/2015 22:01

No school would do something like boxing and I wouldn't want my kids (boy or girl) doing it

I wouldn't expect boxing to be part of the school syllabus, however my children are individual who are allowed to make their own choices (even if they're not my own preference). I am not dictating their hobbies.

touch rugby give me strength. A sport now adapted to girls because the real one is not deemed suitable for them. How patronising.

Yes, some sport are more male orientated, some female, what's wrong with that? I don't see many women sitting in a formula 1 car, or many female demanding the same rules and scoring in a tennis match.

One one side we have to tell the kids they're equal, but on the other I have to tell my boys to never ever touch a girl? (and you wonder why they refuse to involve them in their games when they have a choice).

SleepForTheWeak · 22/11/2015 22:01

As you have pointed it - it may only be a minority.

That's why extra curricular girls rugby classes are not in every town.

Also, because of the outdated stereotyping which seems to be still quite dominant, a lot of children wouldn't like to try something against the 'norm' if it meant seeking it out. Much better to offer it in the school environment where no one can be signalled out and made to feel like they're doing something unnatural.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 22/11/2015 22:04

ItalianGreyhound This is not the point. The question is: why are girls only allowed to participate in one sport and boys participate in another. ie, split into what the school thinks are 'boys' or 'girls' activities. Not necessarily whether they should play together or separately.

pinotblush · 22/11/2015 22:04

I have no hankering to be a boy. I actually like pink too (shock horror) equality to me means if you do the same job you get paid the same money. Chores at home are shared. Within a relationship, money is also shared. That to me is what I fight for. To argue that women are just as strong physically as men then no. Are we separate in our sports/what we like, yes. I for one like that being the case.

Italiangreyhound · 22/11/2015 22:06

I think schools would do a lot better to teach a selection of mixed ability games for boys and girls together, similar to 'It's a knock-out' where the idea is to work together as a team. These would not be contact sports so it would be fine to have smaller and larger, boys and girls in teams, learning to work together and if the teams were well matched in size and ability t would be areal contest but also a chance to work together.

Not wanting girls and boys to play against each other in contact sports is not at all the same thing as believing women cannot vote or drive or whatever. I am a feminist, I believe men and women, boys and girls, are equal. But having to play contact sports that could be rough against males, when you are a female, is not a good thing, IMHO, it does not promote equality but just gives opportunities for female students to be injured.

SleepForTheWeak · 22/11/2015 22:06

I'm not sure if anyone is really saying men and woman are equal physically.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 22/11/2015 22:07

Pinot - why would a girl wanting to play a particular sport make her want to be a boy? FFS

Do you actually understand what you are writing?

Mehitabel6 · 22/11/2015 22:08

I can't think of a single friend who was upset that they couldn't do rugby!
There are girl's football, cricket etc and my nephew was a county hockey player. It doesn't work having mixed- there is a huge physical difference by teenage years.

Original poster
mileend2bermondsey · 22/11/2015 22:08

Italian read Evans post 22:04

OP posts:
BrandNewAndImproved · 22/11/2015 22:08

My ds finds it hard playing rugby and doing martial arts against girls.

All their life boys are told to be gentle and careful with the girls and then they get told to spar them or tackle them.

Not saying girls shouldn't play but mixed sets doesn't work in physical roles. It's not fair on either side.

pinotblush · 22/11/2015 22:09

Therefore boys/men play far more physically strong sports and girls dont. Some girls want to, which is fine and all hail to them but for a school to have to accommodate this is not nor should it be in their remit.

Mehitabel6 · 22/11/2015 22:09

You could just give them the choice and I bet it would stay pretty much as it is - however it would be dismissed as 'conditioning'.

Original poster
mileend2bermondsey · 22/11/2015 22:10

No one is pushing for mixed sex PE lessons! RTFT

OP posts:
Original poster
mileend2bermondsey · 22/11/2015 22:11

You could just give them the choice
Yes we could and should be giving every child the choice to participate in whatever sport they like available at the school without being told it is a 'boys' or 'girls' sport.
Why is that an issue?

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 22/11/2015 22:11

Netball should be banned for being too ladylike, all that non-contact bollocks.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 22/11/2015 22:12

I am beginning to wonder if I'm actually speaking in a language that no-one can understand Confused

Italian - BOYS AND GIRLS DO NOT HAVE TO PLAY AGAINST EACH OTHER. THEY CAN BE ON SEPARATE TEAMS!!!!!!

And Breathe

BrandNewAndImproved · 22/11/2015 22:12

It's in your op op about why should they be separated...

Maybe you should remember what you post!

Choughed · 22/11/2015 22:12

OP I get you. I think it's shit. Gender stereotyping taken to the extreme. Girls should be offered football, tennis etc. These are mainstream sports for women. The school's attitude is rubbish.

Italiangreyhound · 22/11/2015 22:12

EvansOvalPiesYumYum re ItalianGreyhound This is not the point. I thought that was the point that boys and girls should compete together?

the OP's post states I think this is outrageous, all children should be taught all sports available as standard. Why is a separation based on gender necessary, and why is this still going on?

But, yes, it could be read that why are girls only allowed to participate in one sport and boys participate in another. ie, split into what the school thinks are 'boys' or 'girls' activities. If that is the case then YES I 100% agree that boys and girls should have the chance to do the same sports if they wish to.

mileend2bermondsey did you mean boys and girls doing same sports together or separately?

I am personally not that keen on sports and loathed it at school. I think it is often a case of it being embarrassingly difficult, all the horror of team picking, the fact some kids find it physically difficult (my dd hates hockey because it hurts your back and people wack a hard ball at you - and I felt the same way). But yes, I would be more than happy for kids to be offered the chance to do the same sports as each other but not forced to do any sports beyond a kind of taster session in each (if I were queen!).

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