To think the "but there might be a terrorist attack" doomsayers should stfu

[PourquoiTuGachesTaVie]

Because they are in fact spreading terror. I've seen it on here and elsewhere loads. Christmas eve shopping, black Friday sales, concerts, tube journeys... basically, we can't do anything anymore because there might be a terrorist attack... oh no... wait.... that's not right is it?

I also don't think the preppers board is helping either

if there was a credible threat I would have stayed at home too. I cant believe that people are being so critical of this behaviour.

I'm not sure the issue is with that, the issue is with people saying utterly pointless things on the internet like 'well I wouldn't go on the tube' when for a lot of others this isn't a choice.

I don't care if people want to stay home for fear of a terrorist attack, that's up to them, but for pity's sake don't go on and on and on about it. It's spectacularly unhelpful.

Re. scaremongering.

A fishmonger or an ironmonger is still a fish or iron-monger even if no-one buys their goods - so maybe someone who is spreading scary stories is still a scaremonger even if no-one is buying it.

ask a relative of a civilian killed by a terrorist attack in NI whilst they were going about their normal lives if they wished that their dead loved one had behaved differently due to a terrorist risk and you would get a majority yes.

I grew up in NI and my parents were in jobs where they saw the absolute worst of the troubles. I'm proud to bits they put themselves in the line of fire quite literally. I also think that once you start blaming the behaviour of victims (you say that you assume relatives of those killed in the troubles would have preferred their relatives to have behaved differently - I disagree actually as it has guck all to do with their behaviour imho) for the atrocities committed against them you are going down a dangerous path indeed.

*fuck all obviously

Where on earth are people being critical of the people in Brussels for staying home?

are people not understanding what's been written here or are they deliberately misinterpreting it?

This is about the people who are going around saying 'there is going to be a terror attack soon.'

what is it they are hoping to achieve?

Should clarify that my DPs worked as part of ambulance crews dispatched to incidents during the troubles to save lives - they were not military nor police.

"ask a relative of a civilian killed by a terrorist attack in NI whilst they were going about their normal lives if they wished that their dead loved one had behaved differently due to a terrorist risk and you would get a majority yes."

Well - hindsight is a wonderful thing. But it's not realistic. In order for your civilian to have been safe on that day, they might have had to change their behaviour for weeks, months or even years beforehand. Because they didn't have a crystal ball - they couldn't see that on the 23rd of September, at 9.17am, they should avoid the Falls Road, because there was going to be a bomb or a shooting or whatever - they would have had to avoid the Falls Road each and every day previous to the 23rd of September too.

With hindsight, I wish I had spoken to my dad in the fortnight leading up to his death. I wish I had realised how ill he was, and had pressed mum to take him to the doctor. Mum wishes she had realised, when he collapsed, that that was the end, so she could have said goodbye - but we didn't know what was going to happen that morning, and we cannot live our lives regretting what we didn't do in the days and hours leading up to his death. Life does not work that way.

Should my dh stop going to work, stop flying regularly, stop using the trains, stop using the underground, going to offices, going through stations and airports, in case there is an attack in one of those? He can't do that.

Obviously, if we knew there was a credible threat against a particular event, I would want him not to go - but he can't shut himself away indoors until ISIS has been defeated.

Just dipping into this thread and its confusing.

So many posters are adamant that there is nothing we can do - all the reasons why, what they will do ( go out carry on as normal)

BUT at the same time, other people saying they are scared is affecting them?

I feel how I feel about going out, and no one I know on FB , or in RL or on here is really going to change how I feel, whether thats to carry on regardless or make a shelter in my basement.

As for Brussels, there is a specific situation going on there thats not comparable to anything else. The most wanted terrorist in the world is/was feared and known to be in hiding there, possibly to attack again, and its a hot bed of Jihadis.

You're confused that posters who live or work in London get anxious when others go on and on about the imminent threat?

Gosh.

You're confused that posters who live or work in London get anxious when others go on and on about the imminent threat?

Yes, I am. Because what would they know, unless they are members of the security services or a terror cell?

I don't know anyone in that line of work, so I'll just have to muddle through.

I live and work near some very juicy targets.

Are you normally an unsympathetic person or is it just in this scenario?

Jesus, limited, you clearly have no understanding whatsoever about anxiety

I shall just tell my OCD that it's irrational, shall I, because it does work like that after all.

itsmine people are of course allowed to feel anxious (I certainly do) but I'm sorry, posting on facebook that you would not take your DC to London because of fear of terrorists is scaremongering - particularly when many of us do not have the luxury of choice, living here!

You're confused that posters who live or work in London get anxious when others go on and on about the imminent threat?

I am in an area that is a hot spot, surrounded by towns well known to have radical elements AND I live near and socialise in, and visit London on a very regular basis.

As Limted says, unless someone on here is proven MI5 - then NO I don't really care what they say in that it wont make me feel more or less scared.

maybe

I can understand why you feel more scared, but its YOU you have to work on, like, avoid threads where you feel people are scaremongering, stay away from news and media....

no one else can do that for you.

itsme

Yes excatly.

yes limbo, but people are mentioning it on threads where it's going nothing to do with the topic, like threads about christmas shopping FFS.

I feel it's irresponsible and achieves diddly squat.

I think that as with a lot of things the answer lies in the middle, moderation. Don't live your life in fear of terrorists but don't feel you have to do something, go to an event, take the subway just because you have to "show that I'm not scared"

Some people will be avoiding crowded places as a result of the recent attacks. They aren't wrong for doing that, you aren't wrong if you continue to go to crowded places. Just go with your gut instinct on stuff

It is unreasonable to expect other people to manage your anxiety levels once you are an adult.

I frequently have to do this and it is frustrating, exhausting and sometimes causes me quite a lot of anger and resentment. And I am a patient person.

My tactic is to say: ‘I don’t know’ when asked about all sorts, including the likelihood of terror attacks, because I don’t and also because discussing it feeds her anxieties.

Sometimes when she asks me my opinion on something I do know about, I still say I don’t know because I know she won’t like the answer and will blame me for upsetting her even though she asked a direct question.

Why should I have to second-guess like this? I am not her mother. I am not even older than her.

Her family, who indulge her and therefore feed her anxiety, will also sometimes blame me or others who've told her an inconvenient trut because they will have to spin elaborate lies to show why what I’ve said will probably happen, won’t happen at all.

I’ve even experienced her family insulting me in an effort to placate her, as in: ‘Limited doesn’t know what she’s talking about’ (when I do and I’m sitting there) or her saying: ‘Limited. My husband says you talk shit’ while he’s sitting there and grinning at me behind her back as if to say: ‘I’m sorry. Please take no notice. You know what she's like.’

Lying and pretending everything’s fine is no good either because she’ll say: ‘But do you really think it’s not going to happen?’ Sometimes she will accuse people of insulting her intelligence.

She can sometimes get aggressive and insulting if the pretend answers aren't good enough.

That’s why I go for ‘I don’t know.’ Her family haven’t learned that yet. They might do, but I don’t hold out a lot of hope.

She asks for opinions, but just wants to be reassured. I realise some people on this thread might not ask, but I still think it’s unrealistic of them to expect people to stop saying unpalatable things

I am able to brush it off eventually with wry amusement, because luckily for me I don’t have to live with it constantly. If I did, it would drive me nuts.

And please don't say that she's an extreme example of an anxious person.

She is an example of what happens if you feed the beast rather than saying that their fears are unreasonable and they have no right to insist that nobody says anything to shatter their world view.

It doesn't scare or worry me what these doomsayers are spouting I just find it irritating and tiresome, it's got a hint of attention seeking about it too.

It is unnecessary to introduce the "OMG London is a terrorist target" into any and every discussion on shopping, theatre trips, days out, etc.

Jesus, limited, you clearly have no understanding whatsoever about anxiety

Oh yes I do maybe. A lot of understanding and a lot of experience. The first gradually diminished by the second. I've just posted at length about it. It is miserable and can become intolerable.