Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think new-ish boyfriend acted in a vile fashion when in bed?

151 replies

BrokenPots · 20/11/2015 19:38

So I have been seeing someone for the past few months. It has been going pretty well, have taken things slowly (ish). We don't live together and both have our own places. I was staying at his house for a few days recently as we both had time off work and an "incident" when were in bed has really pissed me off so in the middle of sex he basically lets rip with a massive stinking fart and proceeds to laugh about it, not in an embarrassed "oh shit, I'm sorry" laugh but genuinely thinking it's funny and making stupid comments, it was so bad I basically had to open window and then take myself to the bathroom, needless to say the mood was over for me. Then he starts acting stupid "why are you upset, couldn't help it, dodgy food" and that I am being "up-tight". FFS we are mid 30s and he was giggling like a teenage boy would when in a group of mates.

So AIBU to think this was totally unacceptable? TBH I think it showed a lack of respect and hardly conducive to me wanting to shag him any time soon.

OP posts:
exWifebeginsat40 · 20/11/2015 20:04

i can totally see where OP is coming from. of course, grownups and all that but i think it's more about respect. having sex is obviously an intimate act, and dropping his guts was hardly appropriate. where do you draw a line? dirty fingernails? stinking feet? an unwashed cock? all perfectly natural but not exactly mood-setters.

i don't want to smell anyone's insides, thanks.

Justmuddlingalong · 20/11/2015 20:05

Did he not stop mid thrust to ask you to pull his finger?

FindoGask · 20/11/2015 20:05

Oh please! The Queen doesn't fart, and she's never had sex.

Enjolrass · 20/11/2015 20:05

where do you draw a line? dirty fingernails? stinking feet? an unwashed cock? all perfectly natural but not exactly mood-setters.

Choosing to not wash your cock/finger nails etc is a choice.

Farting isn't

BrianCoxReborn · 20/11/2015 20:07

Ah now.

With my ex, he would let out silent but deadly farts. It was a complicated relationship and I hated him for it. He was a perfectly pleasant man but I afforded him the courtesy of not farting in his company, he should have done the same for me. Owing to issues too detailed to give, I could have suffocated him with a pillow one time he did it as I lay paralysed by 24 hour pregnancy sickness.

The boyfriend before, however, we would have farting competitions (not mid shag)

My current partner, who I consider the love of my life and who I plan to spend the rest of my life with it's been 6 months, try to bear with my optimism , gets embarrassed if he accidentally burps in front of me, let alone farts. However if he did suddenly start letting rip in front of me, it wouldn't be an issue.

What I'm trying, clumsily, to say is...if he was "the one" a) he wouldn't have done it mid shag b) had he done it mid shag, you wouldn't have been so disturbed by it.

Dump him. He can find someone who will belly-laugh along at his farting prowess and you can find someone who is respectful to your sensibilities.

Fairylea · 20/11/2015 20:07

I wouldn't find it funny and would be upset if they thought it was hilarious but if it was a genuine slip up and they couldn't help it and they were embarrassed then I could live with it :) I don't find farting attractive or funny though, I don't fart in front of my dh and neither does he in front of me. Unless you are seriously ill or have bowel issues then mostly you can manage to do it elsewhere. It's just really unsexy and unpleasant.

JoanFerguson · 20/11/2015 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exWifebeginsat40 · 20/11/2015 20:10

NO MY RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER BECAUSE WE EAT EACH OTHER'S EARWAX GOSH.

diddl · 20/11/2015 20:15

"I don't think you can use it as a genuine deal breaker."

Eh???

You can end a relationship for any reason at all!

Or for no reason!

I think that he sounds awful.

TangledUpInGin · 20/11/2015 20:16

Unless he followed through an shit on you, YABU.

I've been maudlin all day and this has made me howl with laughter - thank you ODA Flowers

Justaboy · 20/11/2015 20:16

Next time keep a lighter handy, it burns with a nice clean blue flame:-)

Enjolrass · 20/11/2015 20:17

NO MY RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER BECAUSE WE EAT EACH OTHER'S EARWAX GOSH.

Confused
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 20/11/2015 20:19

Dh used to pull stunts like this.

I rememebr throwing up in bed when pregnant because his fart stank so bad, he thought that was really funny.

I got increasingly hacked off so then one time when he'd gone down in me I let rip and farted right in his face! "Oh, sorry....couldn't help it"

He's calmed down quite a bit since.

sugar21 · 20/11/2015 20:20

Now my exh has form for being a gallant guffer, he would go out off the room if he felt one brewing and spray oust the premises post guff. If a guff was imminent while DTD he would leap off crying " sugar sugar I'm sorry HUN but I'm gonna guff."
It was a damn shame that he used to get pissed out of his brains quite often and on one near fatal occasion shit the bed.
This is why he is an ex ( amongst other things)

SheSparkles · 20/11/2015 20:24

Maybe he was actually embarrassed and the laughter was a nervous over reaction?

Aramynta · 20/11/2015 20:25

Exwife Pah Grin

DH farted in my face, deliberately, before we were properly together. I had attempted to fart in his face while he slept but woke him up (arse in the air) giggling loudly and unable to pull it off.

Blush
exWifebeginsat40 · 20/11/2015 20:27

there's an element of moral high ground based on willingness to eat other people's poo air i dunno.

not for me, ta.

expatinscotland · 20/11/2015 20:30

Yuk.

RatherBeRiding · 20/11/2015 20:33

Thank you Fairylea I was beginning to think I was the only one!! Grin

Of course everyone farts. But if you are uncomfortable letting rip in front of others (or vice versa) then you just are, and your partner should respect that.

Gwenhwyfar · 20/11/2015 20:33

"unless you are seriously ill you can control the release to a degree! "

Can you? I can't. Am I seriously ill? I can control the noise, but not the smell. What serious illness do you think I have OP???

amazingtracy · 20/11/2015 20:36

Sorry I can't can't stand people who find farts 'hilarious'. Yeah we all fart but the guffaw reaction would kill it for me.

I had a flatmate who made a big show of every fucking fart- interrupt conversation with her annoying excited fucking face, leaned sideways and blew off-EVERY.FUCKING.TIME!! the rest of us in the house were just sitting on the sofa like HmmHmmHmm. she was most put out when we asked her to stop doing it.

It smacks of the old immature plonker.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 20/11/2015 20:38

I can't say much, I accidentally sharted during sex with my ex.

Enjolrass · 20/11/2015 20:39

But if you are uncomfortable letting rip in front of others (or vice versa) then you just are, and your partner should respect that.

he may not have fully known her farting expectations in a relationship. The OP said it was quite new. Maybe they hadn't had that discussion yet. Grin

Oysterbabe · 20/11/2015 20:39

I think we should take op at her word on this, that it didn't just slip out, that he did it purposely, loudly and proudly and thought it was hilarious.
This is not something I would put up with in a new relationship, there surely should still be a bit more romance during love-making at this stage of the game?

Justaboy · 20/11/2015 20:41

This thread stinks;(

Swipe left for the next trending thread