To be fed up of my MIL commenting on my eating habits?

[butlerbabies]

Let me start off by saying she's not a big woman! I've always been a small portion eater, and if I don't like something, I won't eat it. If I am full, I will not force myself to eat it.

Once again tonight, for the 1000th time, I was questioned as to why I didn't finish what was on my plate. I handed my plate to MIL as she went around collecting plates. I said "that was absolutely lovely, thank you" which immediately followed by her asking "not nice enough for you to finish it though, is it? "

I really felt quite embarrassed because DP, BIL and BIL's partner were all looking my way. I'm really quite fed up of her comments like this.

I've never been one to be pampered to. As a Spanish family growing up, I ate from normal menus and I was never a fussy eater, I just don't like large portions. I don't think kids menus were heard of, actually...

For example, I've always made it clear that I wouldn't want anything to go to waste, and have always said 'just a small bit for me please' because MIL hates waste.

Recently, we had a girls night in whilst FIL and DP/BIL went for drinks. We arranged to all chip in and buy a big bonus bucket of KFC chicken etc (my favourite), which came to £5 each. After handing my fiver over when we'd all eaten, she exclaimed "Oh no love, you keep it. You hardly touched a thing lol" (I did, I'm not sure she realised that time ).

I'm just getting a bit fed up with people getting pissy with me for not being a big eater. I'm not pin thin either. And besides that, I don't think the quantity of my dinner plate consumption has much to do with anyone really!

AIBU? Should I expected to get glares if I don't force feed? It's quite disrespectful in my books. I know it's a cultural thing with some, but she's British through and through and Brits are wasteful people (I'm not saying that's an excuse to be wasteful etc). I'm just pointing out that are family don't have certain 'customs'.

Acrossthe pond - doggy bags are not the done thing in the UK. The portions in restaurants are nothing like the size in the U.S. If you asked for a takeaway bag most restaurants would not be able to provide one & would probably come up with a health & safety reason not to do so.

I've heard from friends who've visited the states about the huge restaurant portions. I don't understand that. Especially when (generalising) the states have a worse obesity problem than UK. Also even though you get to take it home (I personally wouldn't want the same meal two days in a row) you'll still be paying a restaurant price for both meals (ah now I understand - bigger profit for the restaurant while appearing to be generous).

Had to laugh at hangingout finding it weird that Italians might want to eat non Italian food . Do you think non Brits think Brits only eat British food?

I don't think this is true - I have often asked for takeaway in UK restaurants and always had a very willing and understanding response. having said that, the place we go to most often is a pizza place who have a children's menu and they know that children under 12 can't eat those "small" pizzas, they must so we can't be the only ones wanting to take yummy pizza away.

YANBU to be fed up of your MIL and I think you should start replying. Not rudely, just clearly.

"Thank you for that delicious food"
"not so delicious that you finished it"
"Well it was completely delicious until I had had enough, and then nothing is good" [girlish laughter]

.........

"aren't you going to eat any more than that?"
"No" [big smile]

...................

"What would you like butler?"
"Please may I serve myself?"

...........

Thanks for the information. Sounds like doggy bags just aren't as common in the UK. But I think one thing to remember is that the huge portions here aren't necessarily meant for one meal so I think it's a bit unfair to say that 'US is wasteful' or 'US people are hogs' simply because some (mostly chain) restaurants serve huge portions.

Across I think it is fair to call American's wasteful, just by the statistics alone. And that's not just from restraunts.

I don't necessarily think plating up needs to be a massive problem. I serve the food out maybe half of the time, depending what we are eating, but I always bring it over to the table and say, "Is that enough? Do you want a bit more?" etc, and make sure everyone gets the amount they want.

Portion sizes vary massively in our family; for certain meals, roasts and pasta and heart stuff, I bet DH and DS1 eat two or three times the portion side of the rest of us. They tend to pile extra carbs and meat on and have a second plate.

I don't plate up because I'm lucky enough to have a dining table, so I can put bowls of food out.

But some houses and flats around here are tiny and there's no room for a table at all.

Oh geez I have this problem. We live with my DP's parents and his mom used to be a hotelier so ran kitchens and is an excellent cook. But the problem is she prepares THREE different types of meat every supper time!! Example: chicken, steak and lamb or pork, ribs and steak etc plus 3-4 types of veg and potatoes!! She insists on giving DP and I 2 potatoes (big ones ) each plus all of the above!! Our plates are piled high.

We have good appetites so probably eat more than most (we are both slim) but it's far far too much and we feel bloated and completely meated out afterwards so now we eat what we feel is enough, however, she won't accept this.

She serves every night and despite us asking for smaller portions she won't listen then gets upset when we leave half and makes us put it in the fridge for either later or for lunch the next day! We are grateful for the meals and quality, however it's completely over the top. So I really feel for you and understand the frustrations of the situation. But boy it feels good to rant

Whatever Ineeda. I just find that it's 'generally' not a good idea to 'generalize'.

Some Americans are wasteful. Some are not.

No Baconyum - wasn't laughing at that. I don't mean it was weird that there are chinese restaurants in Italy - I meant that it was weird that as we were all in Italy (americans and English) that we would choose to eat a chinese meal .... as we were in arguably the land of the best food... gorgeous Italian food. Thought people might be like eh?

I have a similar problem with my MIL. I don't like big meals. I'm a grazer. I tend to feel very unwell if I eat a really large meal. But she will insist on loading my plate up with four or five large bits of roast potato, what seems like hundreds of bits of meat and a small spoon or two of veg, when I want about half of it (except a lot more veg). I don't understand why we can't help ourselves.