To not want DH to use his credit card?

[RevoltingPeasant]

DH and I have this perennial argument and it's rearing its head again as payday approaches.........

We both work ft and have our salaries paid into 'our' accounts that we had before marriage. However we then pay the bulk of our salaries into a joint acct. From that, we pay out all bills, shopping, and put some money into savings. We are each left with a bit of money in 'our' accts for individual spending, like my hair cuts or DH buying himself a coffee.

We also each have a credit card but I use mine very little, just 1-2 transactions a month, paying the bill off in full. I do this to keep up a good credit history.

DH on the other hand uses his CC for all types of purchases, including those from joint money, like supermarket shops. He then reimburses himself from the joint acct to pay off his CC bill.

His argument is he gets annual cashback for using CC and that this is money we would be spending anyhow (i.e. going to supermarket).

I find this infuriating because I cannot see what the money is going out for: it's all just 'transfer to ' every week or few days. But WHAT each amount is, I can't see, because that info appears on DH CC statement.

Also, I hate using CC rather than just spending the money we have. I think it encourages overspending and recently we keep seeming to go into our overdraft.

AIBU to say no more CC?

I think the fact that you own that the real reason is that you just don't like credit cards makes you partly unreasonable. If your DH can show you the statement and he is not spending on unagreed things then you are bu to have an issue just because it's a cc

Anything can encourage overspending and Cc's can be very useful in knowledgeable and financially literate hands

However if DH is hiding the spends and not giving you access to the statement then you have a fair beef

Or if he's using the money unreasonably

Another for a joint CC.

We have two and use them for everything. They are treated almost like debit cards though and if we don't have it we don't spend it.

Before we were married we used a joint cc as well for the points but any personal expenses were paid for by whoever spent them and stuff like groceries split in half.

No point in getting credit card rewards if you lose more in overdraft charges.

But it's not about the credit card it's about not sticking to the budget.

Get a CC for the joint account

Agree that you will put all " joint spending " only that account and not onto your personal accounts and then " pay back " . That way all the extra cash back etc will go to you both and you can both build up a credit history ( if that matters to you ) .

Agree that neither or you will spend more on it than you budget for each month

Monitor your spending so you can see where you are going over budget and either cut back or BOTH of you should increase your monthly transfers from your personal accounts

OP, his CC, his problem.
Make sure that the joint account hasn't got an overdraft. You put £500, say, he does the same.
So, when he's finished playing silly buggers with 30 transfers, he jolly well can top the JC himself.

I don't think you're financially illiterate, I think you're financially abused. Let me explain. This is all relatively new to me too, I never had a CC untill a few months back. So every time I made a purchase on my new shiny CC I went straight to my debit card and paid the CC within 5 minutes (didn't know any better and I am seriously debt averse). But the idea is that you use what's in the current account for interest for that month, THEN pay the CC (Nationwide has a current account which pays 5% interest on credit for up to £2500. So leaving your salary there, getting the interest, and then paying the CC makes financial sense. If I pay the CC straight away, I diminish the amount on which Nationwide pays the 5%. Makes sense?)
He might be earning points/cashback on his CC, but paying every transation off every time he makes a purchase isn't quite right. That's where my alarm bells would be ringing. Wait till the end of the month, see what you used, then withdraw the amount from the joint account.

All out bills plus a set amount for food etc come out of a joint account. We each transfer an equal set amount each payday. When the money are gone, they're gone, I refuse to top up (he's a spender, I am a saver) for this that and the other, whatever we 'need' top up for is in excess of our basic needs, it's a luxury, iyswim.

Put your foot down, OP.

Its so hard though to split personal and household expenditure. Wtaf is 'personal expenditure' other than hobbies? I found myself constantly subbing the joint account from my own account for family days out, dc clothing etc. Then the family budget is wrong anyway

DH and I have just agreed to manage money by pooling it all jointly. But I guess what you describe is the disadvantage. As long as the credit card bill can be seen though, it still goes towards budgeting.

If it's budgeting issue. Just get him to label the transfers.

Wtaf is 'personal expenditure' other than hobbies?

Clothes for you. Haircut. Meal out with a friend where DP isn't there. Drinking session with mates. Anything that doesn't directly benefit both members of the relationship.

YANBU

I would be tempted to tell him he's not to pay the credit card from the joint account it's your money too and you have every right to decide where and when it gets spent. If he wants to earn cash back he can do it on his personal spends and that's that.

YABU, using a credit card is a good way to make purchases, as long as you pay if off each month with no interest. Your money stays longer in your account, you can get cash back/airmiles, and you also get consumer protection that you can't get with a debit card or cash.

I do understand that it can make it a bit difficult for budgeting though, so he does need to either label the transfers, or stick the receipts in a jar. Just so you can budget properly. If he refused to do that, I'd get a bit worried.

So the dcs haircut and clothes are joint account expenditure and mine dh's aren't? I don't spend much on clothes anyway, I haven't even bought any for 2 months+. Ok to nights out on the piss / or a meal with my mates but tbh that isn't a major expense most months! It's what works for you I guess, I felt like it looked like I was spending loads in me when in fact I was mainly subsidising the joint account.

We put all of our food shopping on one shared credit card (well, we actually have a card each but it is on one account). That card has very good rewards which come in handy at Christmas. It pays in full by direct debit from the joint account each month.

We can both see exactly what is spent on food / supermarkets from the single line on the joint account statement or in detail from the credit card statement.

It works for us .

We have other credit cards each in our own names that are paid off from our personal accounts.

If you are overdrawn this month, you both need to know why and decide how to avoid it in future, only one of you topping it up will breed resentment. Surely he needs to do the extra work of listing all the purchases on his card so you can both go through the month's spending together to work out where it went wrong this month.

So the dcs haircut and clothes are joint account expenditure and mine dh's aren't? I don't spend much on clothes anyway, I haven't even bought any for 2 months+. Ok to nights out on the piss / or a meal with my mates but tbh that isn't a major expense most months! It's what works for you I guess, I felt like it looked like I was spending loads in me when in fact I was mainly subsidising the joint account.

DCs don't have their own money and don't generally go for colours/styling/high end salons, so a haircut will be fairly cheap and a household expense.

I think it's a good idea for things where there is an element of discretion about the amount and frequency of the expenditure for these items to be considered to be personal, rather than joint spends (eg - work lunches/coffees, haircuts, beauty treatments, magazines, hobbies/sports, drinks with friends, gadgets, clothes etc etc.

Depending on when a person is a spender or a saver and what level of expectation they have about the cost of such items, there can be an enormous range in the amount spent. Some people will be perfectly happy with £50/100 per month, others will struggle to spend less than £1k+ on their own discretionary items.

These items are not strictly necessary so you have to look at what is left over after bills/food/fuel/annual expenses/savings etc and divide up what is left over between the adults so they each have an equal amount to spend on themselves. They would have to decide how to pay for a joint meal out for etc depending on their budget - if the family budget can afford a meal out, fine, if not, it should come out of personal spends.