To not want DH to use his credit card?

[RevoltingPeasant]

DH and I have this perennial argument and it's rearing its head again as payday approaches.........

We both work ft and have our salaries paid into 'our' accounts that we had before marriage. However we then pay the bulk of our salaries into a joint acct. From that, we pay out all bills, shopping, and put some money into savings. We are each left with a bit of money in 'our' accts for individual spending, like my hair cuts or DH buying himself a coffee.

We also each have a credit card but I use mine very little, just 1-2 transactions a month, paying the bill off in full. I do this to keep up a good credit history.

DH on the other hand uses his CC for all types of purchases, including those from joint money, like supermarket shops. He then reimburses himself from the joint acct to pay off his CC bill.

His argument is he gets annual cashback for using CC and that this is money we would be spending anyhow (i.e. going to supermarket).

I find this infuriating because I cannot see what the money is going out for: it's all just 'transfer to ' every week or few days. But WHAT each amount is, I can't see, because that info appears on DH CC statement.

Also, I hate using CC rather than just spending the money we have. I think it encourages overspending and recently we keep seeming to go into our overdraft.

AIBU to say no more CC?

No yabu your dh is a prime example if using credit wisely and to his ( and your) advantage.
Just use a spreadsheet and ask him to record where the money is spent to help you budget.

No it's not interest free. Hence my angst!

I find our system too complex at the moment and would sacrifice £40 cashback per year or whatever for greater transparency. DH think it's nuts as I just have to ask him where the money has gone. I don't want to have to ask.

And so it goes on--we have this argument monthly!!!!!!

Once you have worked out how much you can afford on bills, overdraft repayment, food, fuel, annual expenses etc, can you each then have an amount for spends that doesn't need counting?

Could you both use 2 credit cards, one for personal spends and the other for food/fuel/household? And then you only need to worry about the joint expenses?

Barbara that is kind of what we are supposed to be doing now. Only, somehow we are spending more than we ought on joint stuff. So I am subbing the joint acct out of my 'personal spend' money.

Yes a joint cc is definitely one option.

So I am subbing the joint acct out of my 'personal spend' money.

Hang on. Why isn't he subbing it too?

I bet the cashback is nothing compared to the cost of regularly dipping into your overdraft. Can you not present it like that?

Because I don't have fuck off great CC bills to pay from my personal spends every month. Because I don't use mine much.

Reply to 0ver

So your problem is more about unequal spending money between you and your DH. If the joint account needs topping up, you both need to be doing it equally.

Or is the problem that he is spending more than allocated so has none left to use to top up?

Or is someone spending more money on food than is in the budget? Could you shop at a cheaper supermarket? Spend less on food? It might be more about what is being bought than how it is being bought

I'm not saying going without, but obviously there is scope for an enormous difference in the amount spent on food - some people buy basic food, cook cheap meals and waste little, others buy expensive ready meals and lots of treats etc and spend hundreds of pounds a month of food more than is 'necessary' or affordable.

Just ask him to requext 2nd card on the credit card he is using making it a joint one.
You'll get view of his spending and start earning too.
His reaction will tell you about his motivation for cc purchases.

Why don't you both just keep receipts and put them on the fridge or something? Then at the end of the month, you can see where the overspends are. How you've paid for things is a separate issue.

I buy everything on credit card - it means I have more consumer rights (I shop online a lot) and I get points/cashback. But I do agree it feels less like 'real' spending if you're doing it that way.

I would be irritated if someone told me how I had to pay for things to be honest!

Why don't you both just keep receipts and put them on the fridge or something? Then at the end of the month, you can see where the overspends are. How you've paid for things is a separate issue.

Because that's a massive pain in the ass!

Why should they have to do that when you can just log onto I like banking and download a spreadsheet and see where everything has been spent?

DP is being unhelpful by not just using the joint debit card and I really don't think the cash back will be anywhere near enough to compensate for the hassle of the soap trying to work out where the money has gone.

So (in theory) he could spend £100 on online gaming (say) pay for it on his credit card and then claim it as a joint 'house expense? ... Tbh I'd be less than chuffed, if he wants cash back do it with 'his money' or make it a joint credit card...

He may have a large CC bill to cover but since he is transferring the funds from the joint to his to cover it he should still have his own personal money left over to sub the joint account with. The more you are explaining things op the worst things are sounding.

But Sainsbury's or Tesco or whatever doesn't tell you what the money is going on - clothes, DVDs, books, booze etc can all be bought from there so it wouldn't really help with budgeting.

Having receipts would be more helpful than just looking at the statement!

Check out You Need A Budget (www.youneedabudget.com/). It's a budgeting app that would sort all of this out for you. I've been using it for 3 years and I find it absolutely brilliant.

Check out You Need A Budget (www.youneedabudget.com/). It's a budgeting app that would sort all of this out for you. I've been using it for 3 years and I find it absolutely brilliant.

How is that going to help when the problem is that OP's DH is taking the utter piss and she's sacrificing her own personal money to deal with that?

I wouldn't want him doing that from a joint account either. It might be easier to just quit with the joint account and just have separate ones. Then just split shopping/bills/rent between you.

Some cc offer good rewards though.
I have a fantastic credit rating as i had a card when i was 21 and just paid it off every month.
Are you overdrawn or in an agreed overdraft?
If it's an agreed o/d then it's nothing to worry about, no charges.

Does he have an ongoing balance on his credit card? Otherwise there is no point in him transferring the money piecemeal; he should just do it in one payment to get the advantage of free credit.
If he is running a debt on the CC then he is sort of using joint money to reduce the interest.

YABU and yes, financially illiterate.

It doesn't matter where your account is, if you only have £1000 (say), it makes no difference whether you spend it in credit or debit. Owning a CC doesn't encourage overspending. Financial irresponsibility does.

It makes perfect sense to accumulate points/ air miles on a CC, and to get the other benefits of buying on credit (warranties, insurance etc). Debit cards are basically cash. Retrograde in this day and age.

You should not, as a grown adult, need to be able to look at a single online resource to know your financial status. You need to be more savvy; we have paid for overseas holidays with CC points.

Get yourself access to the CC statement and a card in the same account and put all your spending on that. You'll even get a free 30 days of credit, each month, whatever card it is.

We have a system where we use as much as possible only CC.
The reason is that like this we can tell exactly what the money has been spent on. Before that, DH used to take cash out all the time to buy stuff and I we had no idea whatnot was spent on.
In effect similar issue than you but from using cash rather CC.

I'm as to why he is doing transfer bit by bit though as he will pay that CC all in one go. Our system works on the understanding that our budget for food is xx therefore it's that amount of money that is transferred st the start of the month to pay it off (or less or more if needed but then we know WHY).

I think you will really have to find a compromise there. Ime, it's impossible to have a working system if one person uses CC all the time and the other DC or cash. One will have an idea of a budget in the month to spend. The other will use the statement and spend accordingly. You are bond to clash at some point, like you did this month (Been there, done that too).

I don't think there is any wrong with any of those systems but you will have to chose one of them.

Btw I don't think your DH is unhelpful at such. I don't think your system is better than his or that you have to use a CC (apart from Internet shopping though).
But using both at the same time is incompatible in my experience.

Another ynab fan here. I'm your husband and put a lot of our joint expenses on a cc to get points and sometimes. Big difference is the cc is linked to come out of the joint acc. I have another cc linked to my personal acc.

I may stop this system soon as with the changes in cc rules the rewards are looking les and less exciting.

YABU.

We use our cash back credit cards for just about anything we need them for and also pay them off every month. It's a perfectly sensible way of doing things.