To not want DH to use his credit card?

[RevoltingPeasant]

DH and I have this perennial argument and it's rearing its head again as payday approaches.........

We both work ft and have our salaries paid into 'our' accounts that we had before marriage. However we then pay the bulk of our salaries into a joint acct. From that, we pay out all bills, shopping, and put some money into savings. We are each left with a bit of money in 'our' accts for individual spending, like my hair cuts or DH buying himself a coffee.

We also each have a credit card but I use mine very little, just 1-2 transactions a month, paying the bill off in full. I do this to keep up a good credit history.

DH on the other hand uses his CC for all types of purchases, including those from joint money, like supermarket shops. He then reimburses himself from the joint acct to pay off his CC bill.

His argument is he gets annual cashback for using CC and that this is money we would be spending anyhow (i.e. going to supermarket).

I find this infuriating because I cannot see what the money is going out for: it's all just 'transfer to ' every week or few days. But WHAT each amount is, I can't see, because that info appears on DH CC statement.

Also, I hate using CC rather than just spending the money we have. I think it encourages overspending and recently we keep seeming to go into our overdraft.

AIBU to say no more CC?

x-post with OP. Yes, it would be the budgeting point that would get my goat too.

I'm not seeing the issue as well. If you don't know what he's spending it on, simply just ask him? At the end of the month you are made whole again so the issue is really about how you would like things to be done?

Max, that is an idea, as is getting a joint CC.

Tbh I just don't like CC. I think they encourage overspending when you are living on a very tight budget.

For example, if you have £1000 in your account and you pay mortgage of £400 and assorted bills of £150 on direct debit.......Then you can either have £450 left in your account and check it regularly to keep tabs on it, OR have a separate CC which you need to remember cannot exceed the amount in your acct as you will need what's in the acct to pay off the CC soon. It's just juggling two different amounts.

DH thinks I'm financially illiterate and maybe he's right I just hate debt, however short term.

CC have benefits, though. I get cash back with mine, for example, so I'm actually better off being in "temporary" debt for a month than I am paying for things straight away on debit card.

I do this to keep up a good credit history
Really? I have the highest credit rating you can get and I've never had a credit card!

He could use the joint debit card for non joint purchases though. Nothing to stop him going into his local Sainsburys, spending £80 on some CD's, a new CD player etc.
It would show up as Sainsburys and OP would be happy with that. SHe's not asking to look at the receipts.

bit confused
does he do this for credit card benefits - so do I. Is he stoozing - not many of us doing it now but potentially worth it.

if he isn't overspending then it makes sense to accrue air miles or cashback.

could you make the credit card joint so you can see where it's going, would that make you feel happier?

At minimum I think a joint credit card.
Then when the statement arrives you can look at it and check where the money has gone. (That's what we do).

However as you seem to be getting over drawn, I would on balance agree with you and say better not to use a CC and keep an eye on balance instead.

(But if DH won't agree then ask for joint CC only for joint expenditure).

If you continue with current system, then when you get a bank statement you should be able to cross check against his credit card statement and annotate.

I do something similar to what your dh is doing but only between my own accounts, I manage it and keep track by putting a description of what the transfer is to cover so for example my latest one had the description of dd1 christmas present- then the actual item - then who the purchase would be made through. In your case you could do say to clear cc card, top up food, sainsburys but the most important part really is that he needs to tell you. What would be ideal would be if he gives you the receipt when he does a shop and then you do the transfer to cover the cc bill.

Teen I don't really do statements - I check my online balance every 1-2 days so I can budget reactively if that makes sense.

Yes we are now £100+ overdrawn and don't get paid till the 25th. This frightens me as I have never really been in debt before, aside from mortgage. We both have commuting costs, DD in FT nursery, mortgage so a lot of outgoings and we need to tighten our belts.

I don't think I should have to ask DH what our money is being spent on - I should just be able to see.

Not knowing our cash position would drive me crazy. I use an app called YNAB and use a credit card like your husband does (for the same reason) and it works very well.

I take your point that you should just be able to see. That's not the way we work but it's a reasonable request. But if you got a joint CC you'd still be able to see the account online, wouldn't you? And DH could stop the enless transferring.

CC here is paid off every month, accumulates tesco points (and what do tesco points make? Annual passes to Legoland!), a month's interest free credit AND if you have problems with big purchases, you can often claim the money back via the credit card company. I wasn't sure but DH persuaded me years ago on the last point alone. It's free insurance.

Are you in the overdraft just because of DH, or are you generally spending more than you can afford to?

YANBU.

If your DH continues to do this then he needs to give you access to his online cc statement so you can check it exactly as you would if it were your current joint account.

Why is your DH doing all these little transfers? What needs to happen is when the bill comes, he adds up how much is his own spends and how much is joint spends (shopping, petrol, car repairs, whatever) and then he pays an amount from his own money to cover it.

I would just send it to the joint account in time for direct debit to pay the whole bill off at the last possible time automatically.

We try to do all our day to day spending on the credit card (we both get some cash too) to maximise cashback and cashflow. We don't generally touch the joint account as that is where the money goes in and direct debits come out of - I find it much easier if you're not spending from an amount of money that is needed for direct debits.

I check once per month that we are both paying off our own spends and that there is enough in the joint account to cover the bills incl CC payment over the next month, which there always should be because it is also the savings account (Santander 123).

I totally get this - you've organised it so that joint bills are covered and you have personal spends. You can see each month if you need to cut back on food or change gas suppliers etc with your system. However if an extra 300 pounds goes out to your dh you either have to ask or guess, and he could be buying himself stuff

wizard got it in one! That is exactly how I feel. I think I probably am controlling but tbh that is how I have stayed out of debt thru 8 (!) years as a student and saved enough for a house and other things.

Bunny we are spending too much but I can't readily see where. That is my issue.

A joint cc would have the statement just sent to the main cardholder. So we have a joint (tesco, for club card points) credit card, and I have a card that says "Mrs G Sand" on it, but the bill comes addressed to"Mr X Sand".

It sounds to me that DH isn't as concerned about using the overdraft - he presumably knew the transfer would put you in OD when he moved the money?

Would a compromise be for DH to use his CC for his personal spends only? And make a rule that if he puts it on the CC, he HAS to pay it off out of his money. So, if he overspends, it doesn't affect your family finances?

hellsbells, I think it's good for your credit rating if you have a CC and pay it off every month? Shows you are a good borrower?

It would annoy me for budgeting purposes. We have 1 joint account but I could not keep track of finances with us both using the card when we were going through a particularly tight time with money, so we decided to draw out 'x' amount in cash every friday with all other money for bills/dd's etc staying in the account. It wotked so well that we still do it to this day. If we want to buy something personally we know to the penny how much extra we have and will draw the cash out for it, or if we are ordering online, we can mentally deduct it immediately from what is in our account. Took a bit of getting used to, but definitely worth it and really makes you think about what you are spending.

RevoltingPeasant Nope, your not "financially illiterate" you just want to live within your means and keep track of your spending and good for you to try to do that.

I wish my ex had that level of sensibility with money, she had the notion that not only was money printed on trees it grew on them too!

As to Credit cards, spawn of Satan those, i made the big mistake of giving her one.

Moly yes, a woman (I presume!) after my own heart.

Bunny I have suggested that but he says he makes more cash throughout the year if he uses his CC for the bigger spends that occur through supermarket shops etc.

Green yes, he is more relaxed about this stuff. I see us as a living on a tight budget, albeit with some planned-for luxuries included, and I try to stick to that. DH is more 'it'll all come out in the wash'.

oh hang on
you are in overdraft - is that interest free?

at a minimum, you need to see where the money is going.