Who is being u? Friend's dp tagging along

[MeMyMine]

I live far away from lots of friends and family. Came back to my area for a week and tried to arrange seeing people. Obviously it's hard because they have their own lives but if they can fit me in I really appreciate it!

Had long-standing brunch plans with good friend who I knew in her single days and was v close to until I moved away, and a mutual (girl) friend. Plan was for a long gossipy catchup. Ex colleague then turns up with dp in tow - he had plans with his friends but these fell through so wanted to join at the last min.

Aib precious to feel a bit annoyed? I like him but wanted a catchup without him there really. I'm single so had my fair share of boy gossip to report and I haven't seen her in months! They live together so see each other all the time. I obv won't say anything but I feel quite sad about it

Wow thanks everyone, thought I was being a bit u!

I def won't mention anything to her because she's a great friend in other respects but just don't understand this mentality of people coming as a "two".

She always talks about how much her friends like him (they do) and his good he is with people (he is) so maybe sees it as a chance to, I don't know, show him off a bit?!! Wrong word but you know what I mean

I really don't see this as a "men/women" thing though lotsofshoes I actually feel happier in mixed groups.
I would feel the same as OP if I was meeting a close male friend I hadn't seen for ages and he brought another male friend. It's about being able to read the situation.

I really think this is about people having just a smidge of emotional intelligence - I'm going for brunch with a friend on Sunday - I didn't mention my dh - so she asked me 'is dh coming with you?' I said 'no just me' - she responded 'I'll pick you up at 11' - simple - I'm not bringing someone so neither is she!
I don't understand couples who have to do everything together.

Ive posted a few times now on this thread but would anyone find this awkward.
Not the last party I had ( which was everyone come, bring your kids etc) but the one before was a 'women's night in' 9 female friends were coming + mate in question. I text het saying hiya, girls night in at my place. A week Friday. Coming? I get a text back saying 'yeah, I'm up for that, whose coming'. ' me, '. great - dawn, Melanie, Debs, Eve,............'

The evening arrives and she turns up with her fella, plonks herself down, he says hi to everyone. Everyone makes small talk thinking he's going in a minute but I now know different. He stops all night. DH had taken himself out and kids made a point of going out ( ' you and your mates get a bit loud mum!') and we are stuck with him.

It's just odd.

YANBU OP. You can't talk freely when a mate brings her man along...changes completely what you wanted to talk and laugh about

I had an ex who was SO nosey! Even if I talked to girlfriends on the phone - in code because I didn't feel he should be privy to my friends' business - he'd say "oh so whats up with her" as soon as I put the phone down. I could have said "oh..she's a bit worried as just been told she has a prolapse" but I didnt. Nosey bastard, glad I got rid of him.

This reminds me of the same kind of thing - having a man there to change the dynamic. I was out on Saturday night with a friend for her birthday, her man came along which was fine as I know him well and she'd told me. But still.. he wanted to go home before the party finished "to beat the traffic out of the carpark" and he had a long face too. He went on so much she went outside to sit in the car with him. I stayed 30 mins longer..Ive my own cab money so wasn't relying on a lift home; but as I was making my way out I met her coming in to find me. So - the night was about HER birthday but eventually became about HIM and his nagging to go home. He said he didnt like the event much - whilst I was standing there thinking "yeah thats right mate after all it is YOUR night, isn't it?!"

& yet another friend who'd asked me about a christmas night out...I thought let me ring back to arrange. So I duly call re. venue we were meant to go to and got "oh no Lewis doesn't really like it there", same answer when I suggested somewhere else. I haven't told her as yet but, Im no longer going. It was like talking to a machine, all about her bloody man and going where suited him when I didn't know he was in the equasion. I don't bring OP to "girls night outs" he'd dread the idea anyway, nor do I tag along with him and his mates. We already go out together when we want to. & not that everywhere we go has to be a couples night but you're supposed to be able to read situations as to when its probably best you don't go along to particular nights out...aren't you..?