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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about not wanting to open Christmas presents early?

107 replies

blindhorse1 · 15/11/2015 21:42

Hi, We are spending the weekend before Christmas with my husbands family and they want us to open their presents that weekend, so that they and the SILs can see our children open their gifts. We feel strongly that presents are for Christmas Day and we don't open any other presents from anyone else ahead of the big day. We want our kids to wake up on Christmas Day with a complete sense of excitement and wonder at the whole day, all the presents being under the tree being one part of that. That's the whole anticipation of Christmas! Last year we explained to the children why we didn't open them early, and they were fine with that, as the in law gathering was in early Dec, but this year as it is the weekend before, we are already being asked "if we will open them early this year". I feel awkward about it, they seemingly don't respect our views at all and it caused a huge argument last year. Should I just go for the easy option and open some early, or AIBU in my views on this?

OP posts:
Theimpossiblegirl · 15/11/2015 22:08

We always let the DDs open family presents when we see people. It's really lovely for people to watch them open them and saves them getting lost with the Santa presents.

In our house Santa brings stockings and surprises, we have always bought everything else. It makes more sense to children when they start to realise some people get more or less than them.

Original poster
blindhorse1 · 15/11/2015 22:08

Thanks. MIL is with us on the day, not SILs through their own choice. Kids know that FC brings a stocking and they they get family gifts. I come from a big family and so sadly dont get to have everyone together on the day itself. We don't do any birthday presents early either. Take on board comments above though, everyone has right to own opinion and at heart of this is sadly that don't think our view is taken into account, we just have to agree. But am not being unsympathetic to the gift giver. Thanks!

OP posts:
Mehitabel6 · 15/11/2015 22:11

I can't see why it takes any of the wonder off Christmas Day. They play with things far better when it is spread out.

Sedona123 · 15/11/2015 22:11

YABU. My DS has Xmas morning presents from Santa, more presents later in the day from the Inlaws, plus presents from my family and various friends in the days before and after Xmas. He gets very excited about all of his presents, and it all just makes Xmas seem more fun and to last more than just one day.

BathtimeFunkster · 15/11/2015 22:12

We want our kids to wake up on Christmas Day with a complete sense of excitement and wonder at the whole day

And your children are incapable of feeling excitement and wonder if they had a nice day with their family a few days beforehand exchanging and opening presents and enjoying Christmas cheer? Confused

Maybe this is the year that you should start bringing them up to be less rigid and intransigent about things that are meant to be fun.

Quite a good life lesson.

inchoccyheaven · 15/11/2015 22:12

I wouldn't mind dc opening presents after Christmas day but before hand doesn't feel quite the same.

OurBlanche · 15/11/2015 22:12

As I said, we do do EVERYTHING comes from FC, on behalf of everyone else. At Christmas there is supposed to a disconnect.

And we don't duplicate, as we coordinate with Santas In House Helpers (parents).

My comment was that ILs have brought up their own kids, seen them open their presents how they wanted to do it. Now they seem to want to dictate how the next generation must do it. Why?

But, as I said, we are quaint and old fashioned, still use original fairy stories and all sorts of old and non-PC things here. We so love lying to our kids, holding on to their amazement and innocence - even the monster under the bed still lives with us!

Bakeoffcake · 15/11/2015 22:14

It's great when this happens as it spreads the excitement out a bit.

Just go with it, Xmas is usually about some kind of compromise.

BathtimeFunkster · 15/11/2015 22:15

Their amazement and innocence won't last long with such obvious lies unless they are incredibly stupid.

YakTriangle · 15/11/2015 22:17

I don't see a problem with it, the people giving the presents want to see people opening them, so what if it's a couple of days early?

TwoTwoOneBravo · 15/11/2015 22:18

Blanche your version of Santa sounds like a festive Yodl or DHL. Is he only a delivery service or does he provide his own presents as well?

misses point of thread

OurBlanche · 15/11/2015 22:19

Their amazement and innocence won't last long with such obvious lies unless they are incredibly stupid. Yes. The Great N+Ns are thick as 2 short planks. It is truly amazing how stupid and gullible 4 and 5 year olds can be Smile

Are you really so jaded? How sad!

CocktailQueen · 15/11/2015 22:19

Disagree completely with Ourblanche. Why on earth should FC have all the 'glory'? If relatives have paid for presents, then they're from those people. Have no idea why you'd do anything else.

Op, if your in-laws would like to see your ds's open presents, then why not? Nice day for all if you.

We do a stocking from Santa then pressies from us to the dc too. They know that lots of people buy them pressies.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 15/11/2015 22:19

Not unreasonable to save them at all. Christmas is the 25th, not the 18th. The supposed adults who are having a hissy fit need to get over themselves. Gifts are for the recipient, not the giver.

anothernumberone · 15/11/2015 22:20

Can you go over after Christmas . I think yab a bit u. I think they should see the children opening presents they bought.

Krampus · 15/11/2015 22:20

It's not really old fashioned. I was born in the 70s and most of my friends had only santa bring the stocking, a few others had Santa bring everything. Santa never visited my Dad, my Mum left out a shoe and got one gift. Presents being from the relative who bought it isnt a new PC thing at all. Not that it matters, the world seems to cope having many variations Smile

The initial negotiations with inlaws, who do things differently, can be a bit strained Grin

OurBlanche · 15/11/2015 22:20

Blanche your version of Santa sounds like a festive Yodl or DHL. Grin I won't be able to lose that image now!

May I steal it and pass it on to the parents of the kids we are currently gulling Grin

LemonySmithit · 15/11/2015 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OurBlanche · 15/11/2015 22:23

If relatives have paid for presents, then they're from those people. Have no idea why you'd do anything else. Because presents shouldn't be bought for the pleasure of the giver.

And it is fun to have all that suspense.

And FC usually manages to leave presents at all the houses that get visited on the 24th - 26th, the usual Christmas spread of dates.

Having it a week early for the pleasure of the present purchaser seems to me to be a churlish waste of a childhood delight!

Seriouslyffs · 15/11/2015 22:24

We want our kids to wake up on Christmas Day with a complete sense of excitement and wonder at the whole day
Way to make Christmas about stuff create greedy 'all about what they get' children rather than children who appreciate that their relatives have thought of them and bought them presents and might like to see them open them.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 15/11/2015 22:24

Christ, the 'see the look on your face' thing...

So much pressure.

I'm like a robot. I don't do emotional outbursts, joyous hand clapping and squeeling with surprise.

I can fake it (A level in Theatre Studies come in handy at these times) but it's tedious and exhausting.

Please can everyone stop badgering us to have 'looks on our faces'? It's tedious.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 15/11/2015 22:24

I think it's nice to spread out present receiving and opening over the Christmas season. Children get so much these days. Also nice to encourage more connection between the giver and receiver of the pressies. What will bring the most Christmas joy to the most people?

Original poster
blindhorse1 · 15/11/2015 22:25

MIL will see them on Christmas Day, just Not their aunts. They don't send birthday presents early and expect them to be opened early! Anyway agree Christmas is about compromise so suspect this is exactly what we will do. Thanks for comments.

OP posts:
Mehitabel6 · 15/11/2015 22:26

My presents are from me- FC has nothing to do with it!

vdbfamily · 15/11/2015 22:26

As my husband is German/Czech we let the kids open some presents on Christmas Eve. It works really well as it means they are not quite so wound up on Christmas eve and don't wake at 5am asking to open stockings etc. It is good to spread the presents out a bit as they notice each gift more rather than being overwhelmed with too much.