To be more annoyed at my friends parenting technique then this situation?

[itsthecircleoflife]

Took my 11 year oldngoddaughter out today to our local shopping centre. She needed the toilet- so took her. There was a large lady in there who was washing her hands and then applying some makeup etc.

Goddaughter was asking me why her legs were so fat, and made some pretty nasty comments I wont go into- but I was appaled by it and a bit shocked to say the least at the womans reaction.. She turned around and said "shut your mouth you litte c**t"

Now, im not condoning what the woman said. Not at all- 100% not. But some of the vile, derogatory comments that came from a 11 year old was atrocious. Im larger myself and very self conscience with it- I dont condone bullying in any form and it is what it is- regardless of the fact we are talking of an 11 year old and a woman who looked to be my age (late 20s)

I just think its very sad that this girl has been brought up to be as vacous as her mother is. They are a "nice" family in some ways, but I find this heartbreaking. Most people who are "larger" are treated with some distaste in that they will make snide comments about people they see etc.

I took her away from the situation straight away- and told her under no circumstances was she to speak like that in front of me again, and that what the lady said wasnt to be repeated.

As I said im gobsmacked about the reaction- but theres a tarnish to it

AIBU?

Green you clearly think this is some oh so innocent little child who still is learning. Oh please she was a nasty thing and deserved it. Sounds like she must be a bully at school too.

She may well be. It still doesn't excuse a fully grown adult though.

OP says she took her away from the situation straight away but not straight home eg it's ok to speak to someone like that as long as she (GM) tells her off afterwards but it's a blot on their little outing so as long as GD keeps quiet (and looks suffciently wide eyed) GM will carry on their excursion instead of taking her home.

Why was she perplexed? What was she expecting, a pat on the head? I don't know any 11 year old who would say something that rude without knowing exactly how bullying and hateful they were being. Does she possibly have some underlying mental health or developmental issue that could explain it?

Green. The child in question is 11, not 4. She wasn't ignorant, she was vile and rude. The lady was obviously shocked and possibly said the first thing that came to mind, it happens. Maybe the child will think twice before she spouts venom again.
As for making it out to be a question, this is a common tactic employed by the more vocal kids around here, said in an innocent voice with big bashful eyes. She knew exactly what she was saying and how she was saying it.
As a PP mention, anyone a bit nearer her age probably would have lamped her one.

Green I don't think any of us are excusing the woman calling an 11 year old a cunt but this child knew exactly why, what etc she was saying and how hurtful it was - in the way she phrased it so I'm not surprised the adult acted in that way!

east I suspect she's just rude, i know a few 11 year olds who are similar though not quite as rude.

Have to say your initial response to her comment was pathetic so I'm not sure why you feel in a position to comment on her mother's parenting skills.

I can't imagine calling a girl a cunt but christ, the woman was minding her own business when this little bitch said her piece. Depending on my mood I might have said fuck off you vile little bitch. 11 is old enough if she's acting like this. If she's being that vile then frankly it's gloves off and she should realise if she provokes someone then not everyone is going to hold back. I can imagine it could have been a lot worse. Frankly, OP I'd ditch them and tell the mother you won't be seeing them again. Who needs that crap in your life. The nastiness of some kids can still astound me.

The kid should not have said such a vile thing. She sounds like a very unpleasant child.

The woman should not have sworn, but I think the best of us could well lose our temper when we are faced with a humiiliating personal attack in public.

As for the OP's response---look, it's easy to Monday morning quarterback someone else's child-rearing responses. If a kid I was with said something so nasty, I'd be so flabbergasted (and embarassed) that I would blurt out the first thing that came into my mouth.

Im not entirely sure what the big deal about the woman's reaction is. The 11yo deliberately behaved like a vile spiteful little bitch and there were consequences. End of. They could be worse next time.
If this girl is like this to adult strangers how fucking foul is she to her peers?
Honestly we all know an adult who we wish got this kind of consequence for awful behaviour. Maybe the goddaughter wont grow up into one of them.

Think the girl forgot where she was and who she was speaking to!! She will be equally vile to her friends.
Someone needed to take her down a peg, and this stranger did exactly that. Cue DM in daily mail about nasty stranger violating DD ears

Faintly smiling to myself as I remember my own goddaughter making a similar comment...about me. In the bogs. As me and her mother pissed ourselves laughing, as did the person in the third stall. Mind you, she could only have been about 4 at the time and she posed it as a serious question.

Nasty and mean as it was - for the child to speak that way - it was equally abhorrent for an adult to call the kid a cunt in public. I expect the "perplexed agog" expression was her processing this new word for use toward some poor sod at school tomorrow.

I'm bemused that OP is getting blasted for a 'pathetic' initial response.

I expect she was caught off guard and more than a little flabbergasted.

The girl sounds awful and spiteful. I don't blame the woman at all she was shocked. What a little cow.

I wonder if the GD says a lot of things like that to school mates and "friends"? All faux innocence and "Well, I was only telling the truth". She will get a reputation for being a terrible bully if she keeps it up.

She was doing two things:

1. Pushing the OP to see if she were going to set strong boundaries - as we don't have the girl's reaction to the telling off, I'm not sure if she was upset or thought it was all a bit of a joke.
2. Being a cow, because she is used to getting away with it.

Hopefully the goddaughter will have learned her lesson.
If I had been in the toilets I would have silently applauded the woman for saying that.

I think zzzz makes a good point. GD was not only being offensive to the woman in leggings, she was deliberately winding-up and embarrassing the OP. Pretty disgusting behaviour to someone taking her out for the day.