To be more annoyed at my friends parenting technique then this situation?

[itsthecircleoflife]

Took my 11 year oldngoddaughter out today to our local shopping centre. She needed the toilet- so took her. There was a large lady in there who was washing her hands and then applying some makeup etc.

Goddaughter was asking me why her legs were so fat, and made some pretty nasty comments I wont go into- but I was appaled by it and a bit shocked to say the least at the womans reaction.. She turned around and said "shut your mouth you litte c**t"

Now, im not condoning what the woman said. Not at all- 100% not. But some of the vile, derogatory comments that came from a 11 year old was atrocious. Im larger myself and very self conscience with it- I dont condone bullying in any form and it is what it is- regardless of the fact we are talking of an 11 year old and a woman who looked to be my age (late 20s)

I just think its very sad that this girl has been brought up to be as vacous as her mother is. They are a "nice" family in some ways, but I find this heartbreaking. Most people who are "larger" are treated with some distaste in that they will make snide comments about people they see etc.

I took her away from the situation straight away- and told her under no circumstances was she to speak like that in front of me again, and that what the lady said wasnt to be repeated.

As I said im gobsmacked about the reaction- but theres a tarnish to it

AIBU?

It doesn't sound like it was a serious question

It was just a way to insult the woman

Like asking 'Why are you so ugly?'

And see through leggings are my absolute pet hate, so hopefully the woman will not wear them anymore and your gd will have learned a lesson about the way she speaks about people, both good lessons to of learned.

I know lots of 11 year olds. Lots and lots of them.

Asking why is a way of feigning wide eyed innocence while saying something truly awful.

Why are you wearing your hair like that?
Why are your clothes from a supermarket?
Why do you like Jenny?

Etc.

Gas lighting I suppose

Nobody is perfect inside or outside

What comes around, goes around...

GDD: Look at her legs F, why are they so fat?
Me: You shouldnt say things like that, its impolite. stern look

That was a pathetic response to be frank.

Assuming that the woman had obviously heard, I think mine would have been:

GDD: Look at her legs F, why are they so fat?
Me: What?!? Don't you dare speak about people like that, you apologise right now [death stare]

Followed quickly by my own grovelling apology to the woman.

Very rude.

I can imagine the 11 year old maybe making a comment about fat or fat legs but not about how fat and hippo and leggings. That's just plain rude and both you and she know that!

The woman's response was rude but the girl was very offensive and extremely rude and disrespectful. You should have made the girl apologise to the woman immediately.

Of course you didn't do that so the 11 year old won't learn her lesson in basic manners.

I don't think the op did anything wrong, I wouldn't do more either.
If it were my daughter she would be on her way home before the second sentence, but I couldn't be bothered educating someone else's rude kid.
I would distance myself, the god mother thing doesn't mean as much when you have all grown apart.

The 11yo deserves it. In no way is she innocently asking. She was being a nasty, vile thing and knew exactly what she said. Standing there with her shocked face, she deserved the words.

Sounds like you GD has become a particularly nasty bully. If she can say this sort of think in front of an adult loud enough (on purpose) for the other adult to hear, can you imagine what she must be like to other children around her who she despises.

Awful, simply horrid.

*think = thing

serves her right! I doubt she has learned from this though ??

Why are you taking this child out, when you clearly don't like her or her mother? How did you end up being godmother to the child of someone you think is vacuous ??

So an 11 year old was extremely insulting to a total stranger in a manner that was clearly audible to the stranger - how the hell did she expect the stranger to react ? Smile at her?

I probably wouldn't have used the word 'cunt', but she would most certainly have got the rough edge of my tongue. As would you - she was not being impolite, she was being massively rude. And yes, a cunt.

In some towns women would have squared up to an 11 year old who spoke that rudely to them... Not saying that is acceptable but I think your GD got off lightly there.

Sounds as if she's used to that language/banter too so no need really for you to have gone all "'Miss Manners GM" on her as you were leaving...

I hope you brought her home straight afterwards. probably she was rewarded with MaccyDs

Crikey your GD sounds a real joy, can you imagine the stuff she must come out with to children she knows! What a nasty horrible child she sounds. I'm overweight and I would be devastated if I overheard anyone talking about me like this, I would imagine the lady would be in shock and reacting on instinct. We would all react differently.

OMG..how could she speak to an 11 year old like that?
The 11 year old was being ignorant but in no way justifies what the lady said. I would be absolutely furious if anyone spoke to my dd in that way regardless. She is still a child and children make mistakes but for an older woman to retort with foul language. Unacceptable.

I think she deserved to be called that, she is obviously vile. I'm sure the poor woman has had a big hit to her self esteem while your GD may be amused asking her mother why someone so fat would call her cunt for stating the truth.

Ignorant?

A four year old saying it would have been excusable...they generally spit out whatever's on the top of their minds.

An 11 year old was not being ignorant FFS. She was being horribly rude, nasty, spiteful and sneaky posing it as a 'Why' question.

No wonder some pre-teens think they can say whatever the fuck they like with parents excusing everything for them

Totally disagree. To call an 11 year old a cunt? Disgusting. She should have been corrected and it was wrong but she is a child. The woman was an adult.

She is still a child. She was being rude.
The woman is an adult.

The 11 year old was being ignorant but in no way justifies what the lady said.

Ignorant my arse

She was being a nasty little fucker.

And if she'd said it nearer to someone her own age, she probably would have got a smack in the mouth.

Yes, she probably would have.The fact remains she is a child. The woman was an adult. She could have turned round and said something but to call her a cunt is disgusting.

Greengarden i know a few 11 year olds well and trust me they know exactly what they're saying or doing when they or do something rude.

This one was a nasty, spiteful little brat.