To be annoyed at having the longer drive - always seems to be that way

[Katkat50]

I get a bit miffed when my dd, aged 13, arranges a trip into town with her friend.... Typically, her friend's mum will pick dd up on her way into town and I get a text to pick them up - and end up taking her friend home again... 8 miles away. AIBU to feel a bit annoyed?

Annoyed that they do one trip and you do the other?

How else do you suggest these trips are arranged? Sounds as though you live closer to town than the friend. Only way would be for friend's mum to collect from yours when you have collected them both from town.

Sounds like both parents drive a similar distance.

Yes, I'm half a mile from town, they are 8.
Not suggesting I begrudge my daughter's social life, but they often drop their dd with us and then go shopping, visiting etc and I feel I have to do the return trip even tho I am a bit put out?

Eh?

You both drive the same amount?

You mean you don't want to give her a lift home?

No, read the thread!

If it annoys you, refuse. Maybe arrange for your daughter to meet them in town instead of them giving her a lift.

Their journey is the same length though. If they were dropping their daughter at your house and you were dropping her back, would you still have an issue?

They are just being sensible and using their journey to do other things.

Why don't you suggest the girls meet in town? You shouldn't have to drive 16 miles just to take the friend home. Can't she get the bus?

Yes OP that is a bit mad. If you choose to live 8 miles outside the town your teenager hangs out in you accept you will be taxiing a fair bit and not expect friends to do half. Yes it would be nice for you to do it on occasion but 50:50 is not fair.

Well they are going out of their too by choosing the town that is close to you. Maybe they should go to town near their house and you could drop your dd there

Your DD could walk in to town and walk home again. It's only half a mile.
Tell the mum that you are off out if you think you'll get lumbered with taxi duties.

Can't your daughter walk the half mile into town? Then you don't have to do pick up or drop off.

Or why don't you arrange to drop your daughter off in town and pick her up too? Your DD's friend's parents should do the same.

At 13 and three miles away, can't your DD get the bus/walk/cycle? My parents wouldn't have ferried me around like that, for precisely the reasons that annoy you about it.

Why do you get involved in the lift thing at all? Your DD can just walk can't she?

It's the way of living out in the sticks. Although I'd offer to fetch the dd to yours and then they can pick her up from yours. That way you would more like you are driving the same distance.

Alternatively, drive your dd to her friends, pick her up and carry on to the next nearest town in their direction.

Bus?

No, read the thread!

I did thanks. The friends mum drives 8 miles there and 8 back.

So does the OP. But the friends mum only does half a mile with ops dd.

So the problem is that the OP doesn't want to take the friend home and feels it's out of her way.

At 13 it's not unreasonable for them both to get the bus home.

YANBU.

If it was even then it would be them going equally out of their way to take your DD to town, but it sounds like you're pretty much on the way.

I'd do it as a one off if I were you, but I'd resent it being expected as an ongoing thing.

They really are old enough to be getting themselves there and back though.