rip... Is that it?

[CainInThePunting]

This pisses me off every fucking time I see it.

If you are genuinely short of characters couldn't you at least use capitals?
Otherwise there is no excuse for 'rip'.
It's lazy, callous and insensitive.
'rip' what the fuck does it mean? All it says to me is I can't be arsed to think of anything appropriate so this will do and I can't actually be arsed enough to use capitals.
If you want to say 'rest in peace' just bloody type it in full!
Or better still, think of what you actually feel and want to say rather than some shitty, meaningless pacifier.

Can you tell I fucking hate 'rip'?

And breathe...

multivac you're nasty and unnecessary. Calm down the aggression. It's unwarranted and wrong.

I think that applies equally to the OP.

Biblically I would suggest RIP is for believers, Christians here and now, on earth now.
God talks about resting, and about living in peace.
It is something He calls believers into now here on earth. So in fact I am not even convinced to say it is for the dead even. (Apologies to those who like the idea of that and by all means hold onto that thought). However the words RIP always disturbed me and so after much thought this is the conclusion I have come to: rest now and be in peace.

Heavens, I have used the letters RIP all my life, but probably not in a personal message to someone who's been bereaved and never have I heard a response like those on here.
Are you telling me that some war memorials, many graves and its heartfelt and genuine usage is so totally offensive and deserves vitriol?
If the sentiments are well meant does it really matter in the greater picture of what's happened?

Literally anything and everything can descend into a bunfight on MN.

Is it Biblical? I thought it was mediaeval church Latin.

And you don't need a specific god or gods. But you do need a belief in an enduring afterlife. If there's nothing, then you neither rest nor anything else as you've just gone. And if you belief in reincarnation, it would be very out of place.

You certainly don't need a belief in any enduring afterlife.

I agree with which - I'm a personal note sender, even when I don't know the person who has died: for example, when my boss's FIL died, I wrote to his wife (who I've met a couple of times) because I was aware of the long backstory of her DF's illness. It doesn't take much effort to offer some comfort and consolation to someone - but more than writing rip (sic)

As for people saying that RIP isn't for religious people - I've often heard vicar's end Christian burial services with "may s/he rest in peace and rise in glory": so I think the sentiment can be used for any belief. That said, use of capitals is increasingly uncommon - I don't think people are meaning to be disrespectful: it's just that they probably infrequently capitalise correctly anyway.

My logic is that RIP makes sense for atheists / not religious, but makes no sense for the religious.

Christian-Jewish-Muslim say that the righteous arose to live again in the glory of heaven. Bad people suffer forever in Hell. No one rests much less in peace.

Whereas if you don't have faith then you can rest assured that the deceased is no longer suffering, so they are at peace.

I am pretty sure that RIP as a shortening of Rest In Peace/Requiscat In Pacem, has been around much longer than the Internet. I have a vague memory of seeing it on gravestones (maybe because three letters was easier to carve than 11 or 16), so I don't think it is as cavalier or disrespectful as Cain seems to think it is.

And we can't know what is in people's minds or hearts when they write it - maybe some are posting thoughtlessly, but maybe their post is truly heartfelt - is it right to blanket-condemn everyone who uses that phrase, without knowing what they are thinking?

I have seen a friend post RIP about her son who passed away some years ago - I know, for sure, that she is still heartbroken about this - would people call her thoughtless or heartless for using RIP?

R.I.P is fine.

rip is thoughtless and lazy. I never thought about it until now actually, but it is. I am sure most people just use it because using punctuation lazily is very common, especially on social media.

I'm sorry for your loss is also fine. When my children's dad died they suffered a great loss. No he wasn't lost, he was dead but they still suffered a loss so I don't see the issue with that.

Saying ' I am so sorry, please let me know if there is anything I can do, I am thinking of you' or something along those lines is probably the best way to go as it is not going to offend anyone.

People are shit at dealing with death and I'm not really sure why. I had people who I thought would be there for us turn a blind eye to my grieving children. I guess they didn't know what to say so they said nothing. They had it at school, people not talking to them instead of offering support. One young teen went up to my son and she bought him a lot of chocolate, she handed it over and just hugged him. I will never forget her kindness. Instead of using words it was just a simple gesture to let him know she was thinking of him and wanted to bring him a tiny bit of comfort. People are just shit at knowing what to say and it really isn't rocket science.

Bloody hell- I tend to spend my time betting offended by intentional offence.

For example- when my husband died very young and without warning I was unimpressed by the 'he's in a better place now' comments.....they were pithy and crass but no one intended to say that my poor husband was miserable married to me..............However the bitch that told me that she was jealous of me as it would have saved her from the hassle of divorcing her first husband.....that offended the fuck out of me!

I happen to know that she is a cunt while her first husband was and is a lovely man and simply relieved to be rid of her!

rip/RIP.......not exactly being punched in the face offensive IMO.