AIBU my married friend is not keeping touch

[Sayyousayme007]

One of my closest friends from college years is now married with children but I am really sad that she is not keeping in touch with me as often as I would have liked. I know what busyness children create having 3 of my own, plus work etc but AIBU to still expect more contact than Christmas and Birthday, unless there's a meet up or event planned? I'm not sure whether to say anything or not.

Sad but normal for some friendships to drift after DC. I wouldn't say anything, it would probably just make your friend guilty and annoyed.

Does she ignore your texts/phone calls?

I get the very occasional text or call from the car, but never a proper conversation.

She may be very busy with lots going on.

Do you contact her?

Have you tried arranging a time in advance for a proper coversation? I find this much easier now i have dc.

Why don't you call her and arrange a night out?

I have friends from years ago who I keep in touch with on facebook or by email, exchange Xmas cards etc... but I cringe if one of them suggests meeting up. We have all changed, have differecnt lives and the thought of meeting up fills me with dread.

Relationships are really a two-way street. Have you made much effort to call her outside of your usual communication? If so and she doesn't reply then you have to accept that at the moment your friendship isn't a priority. Make new friends.

People do drift apart. I have some old friends from college days that I like to see every now and then, but quite frankly we don't have enough to say to each other to make it a more regular thing.

It sucks when it isn't a mutual thing tho.

It depends, have you made an effort to keep in touch with her?

I'm guilty of your friends crime.

I've two children under two ( a new baby of 6 weeks). I've a great single friend who moved fairly recently to NYC and she texts asking to arrange Skype calls weeks out in advance. I never accept as I can't hang on to my phone if the elder is there, she goes nuts wanting it, and I just can't predict what will be going on in the house. Also, I dread video calls. And I dread 30 min/1 hour calls. I can handle friendships where the modus operandi is quick snappy-chatty updates. Also, my biggest crave is to just sit, doing nothing. So when that window opens up, the thought of having to call that friend makes me feel mainly guilty. I feel like a bitch writing that but it's true.

I'm worse than your friend. My old friends are lovely but I just don't have the energy to keep in touch with them.

People do drift apart, especially when they have dc. Sometimes you hang round with parents who parent in a similar way, sometimes you hang out more with the families of your dcs friends, sometimes just the people who are more local etc etc