to not want to encourage this friendship?

[bumbleymummy]

DS1 has been given a hard time in school for the last couple of years by a boy. His parents have been rude and standoffish and have done little to try to resolve the situation and have actually said horrible things about DS (and Dh and I) to other parents. We just try to ignore and avoid them.

DS2 is in the same class as this boy's younger brother and they have become friends. He is asking for this boy to come and visit. I just don't want to contact his parents to arrange this. I don't want the younger boy to be impacted by his older brother's actions - this seems really unfair but the whole thing just makes me feel uncomfortable. WIBU to just be 'busy' for the next few weeks and hope this friendship peters out?

I would not be encouraging this f'ship for all the reasons you have set out so YANBU for that.
I suspect the other child's parents will adopt the same approach. Just keep putting him off. Hopefully he will stop asking. It's a shame as it is nice he has a friend but I doubt you really need to hassle/stress this would cause for you.

No I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. If they have said hurtful things about your DS then I would definitely question how suitable they are to be in contact with ds2. I mean it may put you in a difficult situation if your ds2 then wants to go to their house and you are doubting how well they can care/ be appropriate with him. I too would not be wanting to actively encourage this friendship by arranging out of school meet ups but obviously would try my best not for ds2 to cotton on that you are doing so if possible. Unfortunately you also can't stop their relationship in school, even though I'm sure a part of you might want to in some way as I can imagine I would feel.

We had something similar
Ds2's tormentor had a younger sibling who was ds3 best friend
I kept things as neutral as I could and always got school to deal with issues with ds2
Thankfully the friendship with ds3 and the younger sibling petered out and there was no drama

I wouldn't encourage it either. Possibly unfair to your DS2, but if I am honest I would not want anything to do with them

They can be friends at school

Thanks for the replies.

hobnob, I hope this one goes the same way!

I wouldn't be encouraging the friendship either.

They can be friends at school and you never know the friendship may fizzle out.