To not speak when not being addressed

[FaFoutis]

If you were with two other people, say Mary and Bob, and Mary said 'Bob' at the end of every remark would you assume she was addressing Bob and not you?

No other cues either. Mary doesn't particularly look at either you or Bob when talking.

AIBU to not speak when Mary says 'Bob' at the end of every remark?

No. Yanbu.

Not enough information. If she said, for example 'What are you doing this weekend Bob' and you don't answer then YANBU. If she says 'Have you seen my mug Bob' and you are drinking out of said mug at that time then YABU. Just not enough info to say.

Like this:

Isn't it a nice day Bob?

Look at those lovely flowers Bob.

I read a terrible thing in the Daily Mail yesterday Bob.

It depends on the context.

If the sentence was a question to Bob, then probably YANBU.

Sorry x-posts.

Then YANBU. Mary is being rude for talking only to Bob though.

Is Mary getting annoyed when you don't respond?

Does she think your name is Bob?

Not annoyed that I can see. Bob responds.

This goes on all day, all weekend if I'm with Bob and Mary that long.

No, Bob is the other person. I'm never addressed by name.

She's just not that into you. Or she's so used to just talking to Bob, that she doesn't realise what she's doing.

Does Bob respond, at all?

Would you assume Mary hated you?

It's a pretty weird dynamic, if it goes on for long periods! What is the relationship between you, Bob and Mary - is she Bob's former squeeze or something? Or are you a terribly garrulous type and she's trying to bring Bob out of his shell? Or is she implying she wishes you weren't there?

If Mary isn't getting annoyed & Bob is responding to the questions, I'm not sure what your issue is?

Has someone accused you of being rude for not replying?

Bob mutters and grunts, sort of acknowledgement but not really saying anything.

Oh right, x-posts again.

Yes, it depends on who Mary & Bob are. E.g. if they are your parents, Mary has probably just become accustomed (sp?) to addressing every comment to Bob over the years.

If they are friends it is odd.

I would assume that Mary is one of life's commentators. Most of us keep those thoughts in their head but a few people verbalise them and address them to someone. Mary is really talking to herself; its just that she verbalizes her internal dialogue out loud. Whether or not Bob answers she will continue regardless.

Are these your parents?

Gosh, that's rude. Unless Bob is constantly woolgathering and needs prompting (though it would be better if his name were at the beginning, to let him know he needed to start listening!), it sounds as though Mary is exclusively directing her conversation at Bob, and ignoring you.

However, if you're at work, and her conversational sallies are all as inane as you describe, perhaps you should be grateful that Mary is ignoring you!

Perhaps she is trying to coax Bob out of his shell, simply because he only replied in grunts.

I don't want to worry you, OP, but is it possible they can't see you? Is it like The Sixth Sense and you're a ghost but don't know it? I've had entire days like that, when I feel that I must be invisible.

My issue is that I don't know if I should be silent. You quickly run out of things to say when everything is addressed to Bob. It is very uncomfortable and I feel unwelcome.

Not parents. Relatives of mine but not particularly old or housebound. They have friends, I would like to see if Mary 'Bobs' them.

Bob isn't in his shell and I barely talk at all there now.

Ha! Yes that is it. I'm a ghost that only Bob can see.

I have days like that too.

It could just be a habit, as santa said above. I would probably reply, even though the comments were not addressed to me. Just in a generally chatty way, not in a PA way. If Mary doesn't acknowledge these responses she is being rude.

Good points pluck. I wouldn't know what to say to most of her comments. Yet I feel so offended.

I'm planning ahead for the Christmas visit here.

Why do you have to be with them? I would just walk away if I was being completely ignored.