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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"No woman is totally straight"

121 replies

PopGoesTheWeevil · 08/11/2015 16:11

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34744903

AIBU to ask you whether this surprises you?

OP posts:
Original poster
PopGoesTheWeevil · 08/11/2015 20:38

I'm totally (sorry, totes) "chilled" thanks Smile

I agree the study's got flaws, but I do find it interesting (all the cries of "boring!" interest me too - surely you can see that studying human arousal could be of interest at least scientifically?).

If does sort of fit with my experience though. I am in a hetero relationship, have 2.4 kids, etc. But on the whole I'm more visually turned on by women, physically. Whereas the gay women I know are often quite clear that men do not turn them on at all.

OP posts:
WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 08/11/2015 20:38

There was a different study a while back, where they put sensors on/in people's genitals (both sexes) and showed them an assortment of sex videos. These included animals shagging. The women showed more signs of physical arousal than the men, at far more of the stimuli. They didn't report being sexually aroused, but their fanjos said otherwise

garrlick I think I read a similar study (ages and ages ago).

I have a horrible feeling it's a defence mechanism women evolved. I'm sure another poster has already mentioned this but your vagina will get a lot more damage if it's dry (sorry this could well be a really sensitive topic).

I remember this happening to me in a very minor way. Got felt up by some complete slime ball (screamed abuse at him and he ran off).
Ashamed to say that while my brain was utterly outraged and disgusted my body actually quite liked it. not pleasant at all.

KittiesInsane · 08/11/2015 20:43

Hmm. Having read the article a bit more carefully I see that their surprise is that two-thirds of gay women aren't at all wide-eyed at the sight of 'attractive' (wtf do they even mean by that?) men, rather than surprised that so many women respond to both sexes.

Which is indeed vaguely interesting. Wonder which bits of the 'attractive men' were being shown? Could it be that men, on the whole, are not really that visually appealing, unless one is blinded by the hope of a quick bonk?

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 08/11/2015 20:55

Whenshewasbad I'm sorry to hear that happened to you Flowers

chief you are quite right, the only thing stopping Richard Armitage from throwing himself at me is his love for cock.

Same goes for Mr Pace; I'm sure if I met him I could get him to change his gay ways Wink

But seriously, I would consider myself to be heterosexual. I think women are beautiful, but not in a sexual way and I don't think that necessarily means that I want to be with women. I could watch a man and a woman get it on but I think I am naturally attracted to that so would find it hot. In fact, I don't find two women together sexually stimulating at all. Tbh this study does smack of male fantasy; all women are willing to experiment with same sex, but men? Oh no, we're too manly for that!
Two dudes on the other hand... in aforementioned sex tape I'm totally down with. What does that say about me Confused

museumum · 08/11/2015 20:59

I'm not at all interested in sex with a woman. But I have found images of women sexy. It's empathy isn't it? Or projection or something. The woman in the image is a surrogate for me, I can imagine how she might feel if she appears aroused. She's Not someone I want to have sex with.

Gabilan · 08/11/2015 21:27

I'm watching Looper at the moment. 25 mins in and the only woman who seems to have had a talking part was naked and sitting astride a man. It's not unusual for Hollywood films and given that we're so often bombarded with the idea that women are sexual objects and not much else, not really surprising that we react to women in this way.

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 08/11/2015 21:41

I'm watching expendables 2 at the moment

Terry Crews tells me I'm straight

janethegirl2 · 08/11/2015 21:45

I'm pretty straight but if I found a woman attractive ( hasn't happened in the past half century) I may be interested.

Fishfingersong · 09/11/2015 09:16

I don't believe this study.

I think that the researchers (male?) showed visual content to the female participants and if anything, they might have responded to the depicted sexual narrative, because they may just be more responsive to stuff like that.

I think the study would be more reliable if they had asked the participants if they have ever had a sexual relationship or, have ever felt tempted, interested on a scale etc.

It's headline making hot air.

Fishfingersong · 09/11/2015 09:17

"It's not unusual for Hollywood films and given that we're so often bombarded with the idea that women are sexual objects and not much else, not really surprising that we react to women in this way.'

I agree with this.

SurferJet · 09/11/2015 09:27

It's also interesting that if 'no woman is totally straight' - how come I've only ever met 2 lesbians in my entire life? & no one has ever come out as bi-sexual to me - where are all these gay women? It's nothing new or edgy these days to be anything you like, so where are they all Grin
& it's so true that women's bodies are always sexualised, so it's no wonder we react a certain way - but actually wanting sex with a woman is a totally different thing.
Give me a tall dark handsome man any day.

SmellsLikeMiddleAgeSpirit · 09/11/2015 09:44

I think that's a very interesting and probably correct idea, Whenshewasbad , about the defence mechanism.

However, I too call bollocks on this study. I am not remotely bi, and do NOT appreciate a nice pair of bosoms (or other female parts!).

Sorry, it's men all the way for me!

KatieLatie · 09/11/2015 09:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

KatieLatie · 09/11/2015 09:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ShowOfBloodyStumps · 09/11/2015 10:01

I've been seeing this all over FB in the past few days and it makes me inordinately cross. I deeply dislike the notion that we can tell a woman that she is wrong about her own preferences. It's a hair's breadth from "well you say you don't want to do x, but I know better".

How about we just listen to what people say? If I say I am straight then you can just choose to believe me Mr Pseudo Scientist.

It makes me really very cross indeed.

EmmaWoodlouse · 09/11/2015 10:10

I honestly think I am totally straight. I'm not proud of it - it's just the way I am, like having grey eyes - but I'm pretty sure it's natural for me. I'm 49 and have never knowingly fancied a woman. Am I supposed to conclude that I just haven't met the right woman yet?

RiverTam · 09/11/2015 10:23

I spend an awful lot of my day pondering what goes on between Richard Armitage and Lee Pace. Like, a lot. Tumblr tumblr tumblr.

PegsPigs · 09/11/2015 10:55

I find this hugely insulting actually. I am a straight woman with gay male and female friends. I am massively supportive of gay rights. I am also furious that anyone has the right to tell me I'm not exclusively heterosexual. And ex girlfriend of a friend insisted I had bi-tendancies because 'all women do'. I was pissed off with her. I do not find women sexually attractive. I admire them in an envious way if they have attributes I don't like nice thick wavy hair but I am not attracted to them. Annoys me I'm being told I can't feel like this anymore than I have the right to tell my transgender colleague she isn't allowed to present as a woman.

SurferJet · 09/11/2015 11:05

Yes it is insulting - I'm sure if we told gay women they weren't really gay they 'just haven't met the right man' we'd be accused of all sorts.

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 09/11/2015 11:58

I spend an awful lot of my day pondering what goes on between Richard Armitage and Lee Pace. Like, a lot. Tumblr tumblr tumblr.

^

Balaboosta · 09/11/2015 12:24

I'm queer as fuck, me. Don't care about what anyone else is. Don't need a study to tell me how to live my life or validate my choices. It's about your attitude to life - not about calibrating where you sit on some kind of a supposed continuum of gayness or straightness.

What matters is: do you have a person or people in your life who let you fuck the way you want to fuck? do you have lovers that encourage you and friends that console you? are you having a nice time? and are you spreading happiness?

loopylou6 · 09/11/2015 15:05

I can enjoy looking at a beautiful woman, I can admire women's body parts, legs, breasts etc, however, I have no desire what so ever to have sex with them

SilverOldie2 · 09/11/2015 19:08

I don't understand why if someone decides they are bi or gay or trans, or whatever, that it has to be announced to the whole world. Why? Does anyone else really give a damn?

I would no more talk about my sexual life than fly to the moon - it's no-one else's business.

Is nothing private these days?

Lostcat2 · 09/11/2015 19:22

Agree with you silver who cares.

Mind you it's men all the way for me. Can't beat a good cock. Wouldn't have a clue what to do with a fango! Wierd.

Sallystyle · 09/11/2015 19:38

I'm not at all interested in sex with a woman. But I have found images of women sexy. It's empathy isn't it? Or projection or something. The woman in the image is a surrogate for me, I can imagine how she might feel if she appears aroused. She's Not someone I want to have sex with.

Yes! This! You put into words exactly what I feel.