Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"No woman is totally straight"

121 replies

PopGoesTheWeevil · 08/11/2015 16:11

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34744903

AIBU to ask you whether this surprises you?

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 08/11/2015 17:01

But maybe sexuality is a much more basic thing than we're thinking, maybe it doesn't have that much to do with conscious desire?

Gabilan · 08/11/2015 17:01

"and Richard Armitage, it turns out"

Entirely understandable. See also Michael Fassbender. It is important to me that he likes women.

Sallystyle · 08/11/2015 17:01

I am not a porn watcher but if I see a naked women on TV I think their bodies are beautiful. I might even get a bit aroused by a female having sex on TV.

However, I have no desire to be sexually intimate with a female or enter into a romantic relationship with one. Therefore I consider myself 'straight'

I imagine it's the same for men as well.

noeffingidea · 08/11/2015 17:02

mrsterrypratchett I agree about Queer as folk.Some straight women do enjoy gay men imagery and porn. Think it's about 18% of gay porn is downloaded by women. Some straight men also dislike seeing men in porn so they only want to see women either solo or together.
My theory is if you are 100% straight (like me) you prefer to see people of the opposite sex. I don't really watch porn but when it comes to kissing etc I find watching 2 men hotter than a man and a woman.

annandale · 08/11/2015 17:04

Agree with bugrit and mrs molesworth. A woman's body is a visual signal for sex in our society. Or do I mean signifier? Hence all the grief about what women wear, where we go etc.

And i agree completely that signs of arousal are one thing, desire and sex are another.

PacificDogwod · 08/11/2015 17:04

Meh.

'Tis all part of the rich tapestry of life, innit?
Beyond that and as long as there is enough heterosexual sex to ensure the human race goes one, who cares?
Badly designed study too btw.

Hurr1cane · 08/11/2015 17:09

Meh. I'm definitely straight. Very straight. And I don't particularly care about the sexuality of other people either. It doesn't impact on my life at all. Now and again (before I met DP) I sort of wished I was attracted to women because my best friend is gay, gorgeous, and lovely, and all the men I met were horrid. But I just don't fancy women, like like my best friend just doesn't fancy men.

HermioneWeasley · 08/11/2015 17:12

DP helpfully pointed out that Richard Armitage had been just down the road from us this morning....a few hours after it finished. Grrr - grounds for divorce?

EnaSharplesHairnet · 08/11/2015 17:12

Mrs M I agree.

There has been a study I've read about that showed women to show signs of arousal at all sorts of imagery while men were very specific.

expatinscotland · 08/11/2015 17:15

Now Richard Armitage's being gay would not at all put me off Grin. I'd still be game for trying to turn him.

specialsubject · 08/11/2015 17:15

I am, so bang goes that theory.

same as all ridiculous generalisations.

FartemisOwl · 08/11/2015 17:15

What springs to mind is that I don't even like looking at my own bits, let alone someone else's

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/11/2015 17:16

DP helpfully pointed out that Richard Armitage had been just down the road from us this morning....a few hours after it finished. Grrr - grounds for divorce? Shock There aren't words.

wigglybeezer · 08/11/2015 17:17

i thought about this and my take on it is that it's as a result of women having more empathy than men, ie. putting ourselves in other peoples shoes, if a straight woman saw a woman being turned on by another woman she may get sympathy twinges, even though a still photo of a naked woman wouldn't do anything. I haven't tested this out by watching Lesbian porn myself, never had the urge to, although as other's have said, I can get a bit flustered if there is gay sex in TV dramas!

I think to announce that no women are straight is a bit simplistic.

PacificDogwod · 08/11/2015 17:18

All you 'totally straight' wimmin are just in deep, deep denial Grin

There is no replying to that ^ statement that does not sound like protesting too much

BriarRainbowshimmer · 08/11/2015 17:19

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/11/05/heterosexual-women-are-bisexual-or-gay_n_8478160.html

I read about that study here.
That male researcher sounds like a total wanker.

In the latest study, the scientists found that women who identified as heterosexual were strongly sexually aroused to videos of both attractive men and attractive women, which was identified by their pupils dilating.

Pupils dilating?! People's pupils dilate when they see something they like...like food when they're hungry, or cute babies.

Men are simple, but women’s sexual responses remain a mystery.
Said the man, 2015.

sugar21 · 08/11/2015 17:19

Agree with PacificDogwood Poorly designed study of 345 women and who cares, so long as we reproduce.
I'm not in the least bit attracted to women, not even naked women on TV.

BriarRainbowshimmer · 08/11/2015 17:24

I wonder how many straight men's pupils would dilate if they saw a photo of a cool, handsome man they look up to.

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 08/11/2015 17:24

I don't think I have a gay bone in my body but I am much less sure about that at 50 than I was at 25.

I think in certain circumstances with the right people we would and could all have the potential to love and therefore shag someone of the same sex. For me though, I think the deep emotional connection with a woman would have to come first before I could end up in bed with her because I just don't consciously fancy women at all, and never have. If I wanted to fantasize about sex a woman would never, ever be my choice of fantasy partner. But that's not to say I couldn't imagine certain circumstances where I might end up with one. obviously been watching too much OITNB

Whereas I wouldn't have to have any sort of deep connection to a hot man to end up in be with him.

Re the porn thing, I am not a big watcher, never have been really but watching women together or men together does nothing for me whatsoever. It has to be male and female for me.

Having said that, all the woman on woman action I have seen has been targeted at straight men. I imagine lesbian porn is more authentic and therefore more erotic, even for a non lesbian.

hefzi · 08/11/2015 17:24

Wasn't this the study where they showed straight-identifying women female on female porn, and because they all demonstrated signs of arousal, drew their conclusions from that? I seem to remember it was one of those lab tests, where they hook you up to things to measure breathing, heartbeat, pupil dilation etc - which are all signs (though not exclusively) of arousal: not sure how statistically significant the survey is, though, mainly because I can't remember how big the sample size has to be to extrapolate off for the population of the UK...

I haven't the engery to be exercised about this, though: it's typical of the kind of report that University management love because it's sexy enough to be picked up by news media and thus has instant "impact" (the thing all our research is supposed to have, but can be a bugger to measure, mainly because no-one can agree with what it actually means). Meh, anyway - plenty of straight-identifying women find girl on girl porn hot, but that doesn't translate to the tedious male fantasy of wanting to have a threesome with her best friend and him.

BriarRainbowshimmer · 08/11/2015 17:28

I am bi and seeing "lesbian" (paid women performing for men) or straight porn turns me off.
You won't find authentic sexuality in porn.

ThirdThoughts · 08/11/2015 17:45

It would be interesting to know if this is caused by the sexual objectification of women. We live in a society that sees women as the 'sex class' therefore heterosexual women may be subconsciously affected by all the messages that say women=sex and their bodies reacting to that association? It would explain why men and lesbian women aren't like this to the same degree about men, because as the default human they aren't assumed to be equated with sex?

I'm married to a man which has been really my only major relationship so I haven't had a relationship with a woman. I don't think I'd declare I'm homosexual/bi/bi curious/pan because it is all a bit hypothetical. But I felt sexually attracted to women who I've felt emotionally connected to, and don't feel physically attracted to male strangers - I've never really got the "phwoar" thing people have about celebrities, random people etc. I'm more attracted to character, qualities than someone's physical gender/sex. Which may make me demisexual, or something else - I don't know all the terms people use. If I ever find myself single, I'll try and work it out.

So as I don't see myself as strictly heterosexual, I'm not surprised that other women may feel the same. But perhaps a bit of a leap to say that "no woman is totally straight" when it isn't clear that that is what the body signals picked up meant - especially as it doesn't tally with what women say they experience their sexuality as.

When I was young, my elder sister said she thought I might be a lesbian (which I unfortunately took in the same vein as her telling me she thought I was abnormal, and that may have been how she meant it) but now I wonder if assuming I was heterosexual was more about proving her wrong than being a reflection of my true feelings! Sisters eh? Hmm Grin

Garlick · 08/11/2015 17:49

There was a different study a while back, where they put sensors on/in people's genitals (both sexes) and showed them an assortment of sex videos. These included animals shagging. The women showed more signs of physical arousal than the men, at far more of the stimuli. They didn't report being sexually aroused, but their fanjos said otherwise.

The researches didn't conclude that most women want a threesome with a pair of zebras Grin They pointed out that physical arousal doesn't equal desire. I'm pretty sure most of us already know this - male or female. It's interesting that we have more 'readiness' than men. Nobody really knows why.

HermioneWeasley · 08/11/2015 17:50

Well, a woman's heart is a deep ocean of buried secrets.

(He's fucking insightful that's James Cameron)

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 08/11/2015 17:57

I think in certain circumstances with the right people we would and could all have the potential to love and therefore shag someone of the same sex. I think i share this view, kind of that anyone is capable of being attracted to anyone male or female, but represses it because of how we are brought up, to see certain relationships / desires as wrong. I know I have been attracted to women and men and so has DH but neither have acted on it as we are in a relationship but I do honestly believe if it were not for all the hype and labelling that goes on we are all 'bi sexual' in our hearts.