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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain to this teacher (and what do I say)?

227 replies

MerryMarigold · 06/11/2015 11:40

Dd (Y2) started a new school on Monday. The school uniform says PE kit should be school T shirt and black shorts. Before she started and I was in school, I saw some of the older girls doing PE in cycling shorts, so I assumed black leggings would be ok and sent her in with these in her PE kit.

Anyway, she had PE on Wednesday and came home saying she is not allowed the leggings and needs black shorts. Fine , I will go to the uniform shop at the weekend, which is probably the only place you can get them at this time of year. Then yesterday she had PE again and had to sit out because she didn't have the shorts. Shock Apparently you can't do gymnastics in leggings. Hmm She was sad as they were playing stuck in the mud which she loves. I really don't see why you can't wear leggings to play that!

This is not some posh school, it is a state school in a fairly deprived area. At our last school we didn't even have a pointless PE uniform.

I just feel it was very unkind to make a small girl sit out of PE which she loves, single her out in her first week at a new school and give me one evening's notice to get shorts for her.

So, anyway, do I bring this up with class teacher (who is lovely)? Or PE teacher herself? And what do I say?

OP posts:
PegsPigs · 06/11/2015 16:48

I also don't agree with punishing the child for something they are not responsible for - it's not like the child could have gone and bought the correct kit. I think physical activity and and allowing a child to be a member of a group (rather than excluding them) is more important than what is really a very minor issue

^^ this. I hate it when primary aged children are penalised for the actions of their parents.

RiverTam · 06/11/2015 16:51

From the distance of a bus going past a school playing field, goodnight? Even if the passengers are looking or give a shit? Really?

ValiantMouse · 06/11/2015 16:56

I don't understand how upon seeing a girl doing PE in cycling shorts, your thought process was to buy your daughter leggings for PE rather than erm...cycling shorts.

I'd think the OP already had the leggings and thought they would be okay as a substitute until the shorts were bought.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 06/11/2015 16:57

Jesus wept. Mountain out of a mole hill.

Cycling shorts are shorts and therefore much closer to being correct uniform than leggings. They are different and I have no idea why you would assume leggings would be ok.

Just please, let it go. Do not complain. And they didn't give you an evenings notice, you were told she was to have black shorts before she started. So she had an evenings notice and a lesson in incorrect uniform.

NoSquirrels · 06/11/2015 16:59

Glad you got it sorted, Merry.

Can't quite believe this thread turned into 8 pages of people getting so over-invested in whether the OP was a bad mother for picking 1 inappropriate item of clothing out of all the many you have to buy when you start a new school (doubly worse when you come from a non-uniform school). I dread to think what teachers and other parents are secretly judging me for!

TheTigerIsOut · 06/11/2015 17:19

I agree that it was mean to leave your girl out, but I think that you should have made every effort to do yoyr research, prepare well and make her first days at the new school pleasant rather than trying to bend the uniform rules.

Leggings are not shorts. Yes, you live far from big supermarkets but did you have some scissors and black thread in your house? You could have fixed it, but instead you choose to let her deal with it by sending her with the wrong uniform for the second time.

TheTigerIsOut · 06/11/2015 17:20

Obviously... i missed the last seven pages. Great news that it has been sorted.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/11/2015 17:23

dd is very into feeling 'embarrassed' at the moment and is a shy, quiet girl

If this is the case, maybe next time it might be worth making sure she's provided with what's requested, to save the angst?

This whole thing really isn't the end of the world, but I can't help noticing that you've been "irritated" by both staff and MNers being "unreasonable" ... do you perhaps feel any personal responsibility for it at all?

SirChenjin · 06/11/2015 18:12

you choose to let her deal with it by sending her with the wrong uniform for the second time

She didn't - it's already been explained upthread.

Main thing is it's sorted by a very reasonable teacher who agreed with the OP and her DD will have the right length of leg wear to do PE in (as if it really, really matters in the overall scheme of things...)

balletgirlmum · 06/11/2015 18:13

I think the problem with leggings is there are so many different types, some of which are very unsuitable, that it's just easier say shorts which are fairly standard.

Ds has to wear black footless tights for dance, Primark Lycra stretchy leggings are cheaper & look just the same do any wear those but that's ok as they also have a leotard.

However for a prinary school to say that's fine you'd then have some coming in really thin ones or with no give in them. (The seams on cotton leggings often split when doing certain moves)

Or (& I rollocked Dd for this one) the fleecy lined ones that retain heat (not suitable for vigorous physical activity). Then it would progress onto black jeggings etc etc.

SirChenjin · 06/11/2015 18:21

The ones in question didn't split though - and black leggings are generally black leggings (which is why so many so schools allow them without imposing any conditions on their type). As for shorts being shorts - not at all. DS has a mixture of fleece lined ones, nylon ones with elastic waist, thick cotton with drawstring waist...my goodness, it's short carnage out there at times.

JustCallMeDory · 06/11/2015 18:37

OP, you have my sympathy and I'll love you for ever for calling my post insightful

Original poster
MerryMarigold · 06/11/2015 23:19

Yup, yucky nylon football shorts purchased for playing stuck in the mud. Nice cotton/ lycra leggings as weekend wear to climb trees run about cartwheel do the splits as per usual.

Dory, you should be counsellor or sumfink. You're amazing.

OP posts:
kali110 · 07/11/2015 02:23

Completely agree with you goblin.
If it said shorts were
Needed, i would have gotten shorts in the first place, not complained that my child had to
Sit out when i
Hadn't got the uniform.
It's hard because she's
New but if others are also made to sit out then it's not fair to go easy on on one and not all of them is it?
No, leggings are not appropriate for PE.
I would have given my dd a letter if i couldn't get the shorts straight away too if she didn't know the schedule.
Think ywbu to go and complain,
Your dd has only just started, this was not something to complain about.

roundaboutthetown · 07/11/2015 07:30

Well, I'd love to know where the OP gets her dd's leggings, because my experience of girls wearing cotton leggings is that the wearer regularly has to hoik them up to stop them slipping low enough to reveal their bum crack... and occasionally pull them down at the bottom when they twist and stretch at the knees. Jogging bottoms and shorts are much more sensible.

roundaboutthetown · 07/11/2015 07:32

Oh, and then of course there is the knicker adjusting, as they get pulled down by the leggings, too. I'm not really surprised the school isn't keen on them!

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 07/11/2015 07:35

Sorry if this has already been mentions up thread but what would happen if a Muslim girls parents insisted she should not wear shorts? I can't imagine the school would be brave enough to argue the toss on that one. Also why can't you do PE just as well in leggings? Half the sports and fitness kit available to buy is leggings. Confused

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 07/11/2015 07:36

Having said thT, I would just have bought the shorts in the first place, they cost about a fiver.

derxa · 07/11/2015 07:39

A Muslim girl has to wear leggings for religious reasons. The school policy for PE kit is shorts. That is pretty simple to understand.

VocationalGoat · 07/11/2015 07:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SplatterMustard · 07/11/2015 07:50

YABU. You knew what the uniform was and you chose not to buy it.

ihateminecraft · 07/11/2015 08:21

YANBU some other posters seem to have overlooked the fact that the child is YEAR 2 so cannot be responsible for ensuring she had the correct kit. Therefore it was very unfair for her to be excluded for something that is not her fault. It's not as though it would've been unsafe for her to do PE in leggings. I have the unfortunate task of magicing rugby boots out of thin air for my HIGH SCHOOL child for Monday because he forgot to tell me. If I fail it WILL be his fault but he is not in Y2!

NickiFury · 07/11/2015 08:35

She should have rolled/pulled them up, then they'd have been shorts.

Fwiw I think it's utterly pathetic that she was made to miss PE over it. I wouldn't complain though, what's the point? It won't change anything. I wouldn't bother explaining even one more time why you got leggings instead of shorts on here either.

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 07/11/2015 08:45

Yes I do understand that but why should there be one rule for Muslims and one rule for everyone else? Either leggings are suitable for PE and sport or they are not. If the argument is that they are not suitable then Muslimgirls have a choice to make. Either wear shorts or withdraw from PE. If they are suitable then the choice to wear them should've made available to every girl.

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 07/11/2015 10:51

Our Muslim girls wear shorts OVER the leggings.