To not be the least bit interested in other people's weddings?

[PiperChapstick]

A colleague is getting married next month, and it just seems to be the only topic of conversation in the office at the moment. I've heard endless conversations about what the favours are, the first dance, cake, colour themes, "disasters" with the MIL dress (it's the same colour as her mums ). She's a bit of a queen bee and other people in the office are making a terrible fuss - there's gonna be a hen do, a meal after work for colleagues who make the hen do, a day where we've booked a meeting room to present her with champagne and on the last day before she gets married the chief exec is presenting her with flowers. For that day people have various tasks such as filming, photos, making sure everyone in building has signed the card etc.

AIBU to find this all horrendously boring? I get it's important to her and she's excited but why does everyone else need to care? Maybe I'm just miserable re weddings - I couldn't even be arsed having a "proper" one, DH and I buggered off to America to elope. I did make a feeble attempt, we were gonna get married in our home town but I just never found myself caring about any of it, I just wanted to be DHs wife and be done with it.

I haven't said anything to colleague but I also haven't been insanely enthusiastic either I actually love weddings of families and good friends, I've always had a good time, but that's because of the people who are there, not the stuff on the table

I sat with one v excited girl at work for the year building up to her wedding. Just me and her in the office. It was very hard. It makes you wonder what on earth these people will do or talk about when the wedding is over.

The colour scheme of the sitting room, Sparklingbrook . Politely, the office sharer than gets to express an opinion on 20 shades of beigey-pink.

then

I had a very boring wedding. 100's of people Scottish traditional. I didn't need to talk about it because I knew exactly how it should go. Married 28 years smug

I can't stand weddings; it all just seems like a load of money spent on old tat.

Plastic horseshoes, The Big Cake that nobody eats, The Wedding Dress™, blokes looking embarrassed and awkward in suits, kids running around everywhere, reception down the local footie club, people falling over pissed to Agadoo...

I haven't been to a wedding now since 2003.

Ah yes reni polite conversations about decorating.

I'm having a fairly traditional wedding in six weeks. It will be great. I don't give a shiny shit if tiny registry weddings in jeans are morally superior. Good for you treating one of life's very big decisions as an occasion of no more importance than a pint at the pub.

Having said that, topic bores are across the spectrum. I find listening to football discussion tedious. Children and their antics are tedious to many. Holiday planning discussion is tedious. Weight loss chat is tedious. It's also possible to have a big wedding and not be a topic bore: I hate people asking about mine because I really can't be bothered talking about it. The rugby was way more interesting!

Thank God, this kind of bullshit would never be tolerated at my work. I work with victims of violent crimes, my coworkers would be telling this self obsessed women to get a grip nine million ways. I think I would be digging out the head phones when the bride to be starts wittering on about her BIG DAY.

groom gets a speech, bride's dad gets a speech, best man gets a speech i.e. men get to talk, women get to to sit there and look pretty. It's so passive Well actually I did give a speech at my wedding. No idea what it was about. I'm too old to remember. And I didn't give out favours. I'm such a rebel I forgot

derxa you'll note I said my problem with traditional weddings was the woman is passive. Good for you speaking at your own wedding; I've never been to one where the bride has spoken (even at a wedding of a friend of mine who is a very outspoken feminist - her husband took her name for eg) and it does bother me that the default /tradition is that men speak at weddings and women don't

And ruby as far as I can tell the only people suggesting that weddings in jeans are seen as 'morally superior ' on this thread are those who haven't had that type of wedding. You want a traditional wedding good for you! I'm not sure I agree with you that the wedding is one of life's most important decisions which is how your post came across. Yes, marriage is am important decision, but I'm not sure what that has to do with whether you go all in for a big wedding or a low key thing....

Good for you treating one of life's very big decisions as an occasion of no more importance than a pint at the pub.

ruby I'm a registry type (though we'll hopefully not be in jeans). In our case, it's an occasion of significant importance to us and our families, but importance /= throwing money at event. It would be important even if we had it in a hole in the ground. It doesn't become more important the more you spend.

A wedding is a special occasion. But that doesn't mean it has to be turned into 'event of the year', with everyone from close family to work colleagues being expected to become totally caught up in the whole affair; listen to endless discussions about it; for out for hen weekends, trips abroad and monetary contributions as well as take 3 days leave to attend the whole circus.

In many ways, all that stuff takes away from it's importance because the attention becomes focussed on the cost and the trimmings and the complicated logistics and moves away from what the whole occasion is actually meant to be about.

fork out for hen weekends

marmite My wedding couldn't have been traditional if it tried. Church of Scotland service, meringue dress... the lot. It doesn't matter. I do agree that the cost of these shindigs is outrageous and no one talked of 'dream weddings' in my day when dinosaurs roamed.

tony danza
marmite I spoke at my wedding, in fact only DH and I did, to jointly thank our guests. I agree that the passivization/princess for a day stuff is troubling to me a feminist. But that is not what the OP was complaining about.

Good for you treating one of life's very big decisions as an occasion of no more importance than a pint at the pub.

Ruby, you're confusing the wedding and the marriage, as so often on these threads - who to spend your life with is, absolutely, a big life decision, but the terms on which you sign that piece of paper which starts that marriage - whether it's in a white frock with 300 of your closest friends in a stately home, or a ten-minute lunchtime quickie with two security guards as witnesses - isn't necessarily anymore important than a pint at the pub.

I've been very happily with my husband for 23 years. The strength of our relationship isn't diminished by the fact that neither of us, in deciding to get married at a particularly busy time for us both, gave our wedding ceremony any thought whatsoever.

In general I don't like the 'me me me' aspect of weddings. They just aren't my thing. The main purpose of the most excruciating wedding I've ever been to seemed to be for the parents of the bride to show off how expensive it was. Seeing as how they'd had to borrow the money to pay for it and the bride and groom were already married back in the UK, complete with dress, cake, meal etc, I found it a bit sickening.

Must everything be invested wisely.

How dull.

I'm fond of frippery. Very fond indeed.

No intention of ever getting married though.

Fair enough. £40,000 would last me several years of frippery-ness. I'd much rather a bit fat frippery fund I could dip into when the fancy took me than buy a three course lunch for 200 people.

so how much as you allowed to spend on a wedding before being judged a twat then cactus oh great judger of the morality of weddings...

Weddings today are massively OTT with the hen and stag weekends to exotic locations and it seems endless.

I will have been married 20 years next year and ours was a lovely affair by no means extravagant but surrounded by family who had to travel to where we were living at the time so that meant everything to me.

She will be bereft when its all over!

Almost 30 years married. No idea what it cost because my parents paid for it. Yes I'm that old.