To not be the least bit interested in other people's weddings?

[PiperChapstick]

A colleague is getting married next month, and it just seems to be the only topic of conversation in the office at the moment. I've heard endless conversations about what the favours are, the first dance, cake, colour themes, "disasters" with the MIL dress (it's the same colour as her mums ). She's a bit of a queen bee and other people in the office are making a terrible fuss - there's gonna be a hen do, a meal after work for colleagues who make the hen do, a day where we've booked a meeting room to present her with champagne and on the last day before she gets married the chief exec is presenting her with flowers. For that day people have various tasks such as filming, photos, making sure everyone in building has signed the card etc.

AIBU to find this all horrendously boring? I get it's important to her and she's excited but why does everyone else need to care? Maybe I'm just miserable re weddings - I couldn't even be arsed having a "proper" one, DH and I buggered off to America to elope. I did make a feeble attempt, we were gonna get married in our home town but I just never found myself caring about any of it, I just wanted to be DHs wife and be done with it.

I haven't said anything to colleague but I also haven't been insanely enthusiastic either I actually love weddings of families and good friends, I've always had a good time, but that's because of the people who are there, not the stuff on the table

Bunbaker I suspect you're right (you don't have to be sorry for disagreeing with me ), and there's nothing objectionable (IMO) in what you've said, because it's relating the facts of weddings you've been to combined with your opinion on a specific aspect.

Very far from the I'm So Cynical, It's Cool declaration that the weddings of other people are universally shit and nobody who's anybody cares one jot. That's not true and it only serves to try and make those who are excited about finding nice ribbons feel shit. It's not a gentle reminder that perhaps it's not something guests will notice!

I agree with the OP that this level of organised wedding preamble is a bit much, BTW. As a PP said, many people will have the social grace to check themselves and not make every conversation or event about themselves.

I think people with a bit of social awareness would realise fairly quickly who is actually interested in discussing the details of their wedding, advising on flowers and favours etc. and who is just giving polite stock answers and obviously not really listening.

I've no problem with people talking excitedly about their wedding to close family and friends and others who are genuinely interested.

But just going on and on about it, in minute detail, to everyone at work and in your social circle is boring and annoying.

NO ONE cares about the ribbons. Literally no one. Maybe your mum

And, presumably, the person who is excitedly telling you about the gorgeous ribbon she's found.

Which is why telling that happy, excited person that "nobody gives a shit" is a horrible thing to do.

Have to disagree, Boutonneux and Dingleberry. I worked in a team with three slimmers on a Slimming World diet splitting the world into "syns" - that is the world's most boring topic. But yes, weddings, holiday snaps and other people's dreams come close.

YADNBU I find the people who bore on about weddings are the ones who bore on about holidays etc. I think there is something a bit naff about big weddings and I do look up to people who go off and get hitched. I did just get hitched tho!

She sounds like a self absorbed pain the arse bride who thinks that the world revolves around her. Especially the email signing off, what's that all about??

YANBU at all!

Can't you just tune out? Or be happy that's she's happy?

Or channel Mrs Brown from Mrs Brown's Boys with 'That's nice!' meaning 'I don't give a shit' .

Either way, you have to accept that this is how it is, unless you commit social suicide by telling her to stop banging on.

I agree that Slimmimg World talk trumps Wedding talk and Holiday talk hands down.

I'm with you, maid. I'm sure it's not the most interesting thing in the world to hear about, OP, and I am with you on it sounding like complete overkill at work (so YANBU to be bored of hearing it) but this undoubtedly is the most exciting thing that's happened to this person and so she's talking about it.

And presumably someone else is also excited, as they've organised all this stuff at work.

YANBU to be personally bored, but YWBU to say anything.

I find the whole "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT MEEEEE NOW LISTEN TO A SPEECH ABOUT MEEEEE NOW LOOK AT SOME PICTURES OF MEEEEE" thing unbelievably excruciating.

^^ so much this. One of the reasons me and DP haven't got married after 11 years together is we both dislike the thought of being the centre of attention for a whole day and all the razzamatazz that goes along with weddings. We're planning to get married in a couple of months, when we can be arsed to sort out the registry office, and just have randomers there to witness.

I get that some people love weddings, I do, and good for you. If you want to spend £15 grand or whatever to have a big day and celebrate your partnership surrounded by your nearest and dearest (and the rest), then go for it. But some people aren't huge fans of weddings or hearing about them all the time, and OP if I were in your position I'd be bored too, so I don't think you are being U for getting irritated having to listen to the minutiae of someone's wedding planning, esp when that person isn't a close friend or anything.

YANBU!

It's "wedding season" among me and my friends/colleagues. I will bite my tongue and throw myself into themed weddings, two-day weddings, overseas weddings, afternoon-long photo shoots, weddings a bazillion miles from civilization at some godawful lodge/castle, and generally enjoy myself, but inside every bit of it just screams "EGO TRIP" to me.

I understand that it's the B&G's special day, and I'll genuinely participate in whatever, but good lord, the idea that (sometimes) hundreds of people are that interested is mind-boggling.

Special for those who moan about not being able to afford a house/flat and spaff £10,000 plus on a wedding.

(DP and I are getting married at Camden Town Hall followed by lunch at a local restaurant. Guests: 4. Cost: maybe £500 all in. I want to plan for a marriage, not a wedding.)

OP, I think you will crack in the 32 remaining days. You will jump up one day and just shout "STOP IT! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" Before you can slump down in your chair, recover and become all apologetic you will become aware of the standing ovation and the whoops and hear hear's of your whole office.

But no one is doing that here, either

In my first post, I clarified that my accusations (strong word!) are directed at those who participate in general wedding chat on Mumsnet, not that the OP was doing this.

It didn't take long for someone to come along and say "Nobody gives a shit about other people's weddings".

And anyone reading that who might be excitedly planning their own wedding is probably going to feel bad about that. If it were true, you could argue that it's a lesson to be learned, but it's not true.

So I just like to balance the cynical "You're an idiot if you think anyone wants to even go to your wedding - they're soooo boring- let alone talk about it" with a bit of "I like talking about desserts" because I'm not a grumpy git

Disclaimer: I am not planning a wedding. I have no vested interest here

Maid I dunno, I like going to wedding where everything is a surprise, rather than knowing everything to expect. Unless the food is shit of course, that's never a good surprise

Bout agree about holidays being boring. Especially holiday pictures. Even my own I can't be arsed looking through! We went on holiday in September and loaded pics onto the iPad, DH and I sat to look at them together one night with a glass of wine once DD was in bed. We got to about photo 7 out of 600 and both said "this is boring, shall we watch a film?"

In fairness Maids I think most people have the sense to realise that the majority of people have limited interest in the details of their wedding. The ones who don't are probably also the people who talk constantly about their children at work, or about their job when they're out with friends.
Some people just don't 'get' that there's only so much people want to hear about these things.

Yanbu. That sounds very tiresome. Also I bet you anything that her fiancé's office is not making the same fuss of him. This is because of the patriarchal idea that a woman SHOULD be excited as she's now going to belong to a man.

'Even when she sends emails out to the team it's signed off with "only 32 days to go"'

That is cringesome.

I stand by "Nobody gives a shit about other people's weddings", Maid, not in this sort of detail anyway. Most brides are quite aware that people would rather not discuss ribbon colours or bridesmaid dresses of other people's weddings. People who do not realise this and feel hurt by it are the ones endlessly prattling on about it in the office.

Yanbu

This kind of Shite makes me cringe.

Oh god, holiday photos! At least when people upload 100+ photos from a 3 day mini break somewhere , you can just scroll on past them but its a lot harder if they're shoved in front of your face in the office.

Someone where I work brought in her laptop with photos from her wedding. There were 300+ (yes, she went through every single one, with explanations of who everyone was and who was related to who!) plus a 20 minute wedding video. I was younger then and much less assertive, so I sat through the whole thing, slowly dying of boredom and stunned by the sheer egotism. Now, I would suddenly have a desperately important meeting to dash off to.

Nobody gives a shit about other people's weddings

But how do you know that? You don't care, clearly. But you can't speak for everyone?

That should say 'upload onto Facebook'