To not be the least bit interested in other people's weddings?

[PiperChapstick]

A colleague is getting married next month, and it just seems to be the only topic of conversation in the office at the moment. I've heard endless conversations about what the favours are, the first dance, cake, colour themes, "disasters" with the MIL dress (it's the same colour as her mums ). She's a bit of a queen bee and other people in the office are making a terrible fuss - there's gonna be a hen do, a meal after work for colleagues who make the hen do, a day where we've booked a meeting room to present her with champagne and on the last day before she gets married the chief exec is presenting her with flowers. For that day people have various tasks such as filming, photos, making sure everyone in building has signed the card etc.

AIBU to find this all horrendously boring? I get it's important to her and she's excited but why does everyone else need to care? Maybe I'm just miserable re weddings - I couldn't even be arsed having a "proper" one, DH and I buggered off to America to elope. I did make a feeble attempt, we were gonna get married in our home town but I just never found myself caring about any of it, I just wanted to be DHs wife and be done with it.

I haven't said anything to colleague but I also haven't been insanely enthusiastic either I actually love weddings of families and good friends, I've always had a good time, but that's because of the people who are there, not the stuff on the table

Piper I don't usually accuse women of jealousy but that's how it reads to me. It's not just the bride doing this stuff, it's the members of your office. I just wondered if you felt like you missed out on the hype due to your choice to elope. Perhaps in hindsight feeling differently. That's all.

'People have various tasks such as filming, photos and making sure people have signed the card'

Filming what exactly?

Do you imagine the bride will be into this and simpering around loving it?

I'd personally shut myself in the nearest stationary cupboard.

Although I have to admit, some of it sounds very cringey.

I worked in a team with three slimmers on a Slimming World diet splitting the world into "syns" - that is the world's most boring topic.

Thankfully my workplace seems utterly free of diet chat. But I do remember yonks ago temping in an office with three women in their late fifties who knew the calorific value of every food imaginable.

Every time I see those pink and white marshmallow biscuits in the biscuit aisle I think of them. Syn free apparently!

Almost nobody on this thread has expressed any interest in details of weddings for starters, Maid. But of course I can't speak for everyone. I will possibly be quite interested in my dc's weddings should they marry one day.

I resent the assumption of people planning a wedding/ doing a diet etc that everybody thinks theirs ought to be the event of the year and wants a daily update, that is super rude. Those who don't care (like the OP and, when it happens, I) just sit through the endless updates in silence and can't say anything for fear of being unkind.

Must email my ex-colleagues about the syn-free marshmallow things, DingleberryDip, to prove I paid attention through the torturous years !

reni I think it's a little bit unkind to bemoan other people's weddings on social media actually and would tend to be more direct but each to their own. I accept that what I sometimes think is indirect or dishonest other people would just call "good manners".

I have never bemoaned anybody's wedding, only on this thread anonymously with no particular one in mind actually there are a couple that I DO have in mind. That's just it, a bride can bore her colleagues for months with every detail and they cannot say anything, because that would be rude. All I'm saying is the bride is the rude one here.

Yes, agree with "almost nobody gives a shit about other people's weddings", CactusAnnie.

shameless I don't think reni is suggesting anyone complain about weddings on social media - this is an anon site and I think perfectly ok to have a little moan about it on here and let off some steam.

thanks cactus! and gosh 40 grand on a wedding! the mind boggles

maid maybe we can adjust it to 'most people don't give a crap about other people's weddings' then if you don't like such a sweeping generalisation about 'nobody giving a crap'. and tbh if some people read this and can't handle it that someone might not care about their wedding, I think they are being a bit precious! It's not hard to have a bit of social awareness about boring people with things they don't find interesting. Example: I don't chat endlessly about my child to my friends (child-free or otherwise), because I don't necessarily think they are that interested. If they ask me about my DD I will happy tell them any news etc but don't assume that just because she's an endless source of interest and fascination to me that it's the same for them! I think it's the same in this context tbh.

cross post with Cactus and reni!

But I actually do give a shit about other people's weddings. Although I'm definitely not girly, I love everything about them. That's why programmes like Don't Tell The Bride are popular. I realise that the only wedding allowed on MN is the bride and groom dressed in jeans at the local registry office with a stranger as a witness. You don't need to listen to wedding prattle. Just get on with your job.

YANBU. Weddings are fucking tedious for the most part. I would just disengage. Wait till she gets pregnant. It will be the first time anyone has a baby.

almost nobody gives a shit about other people's weddings
Fine.

As is "I don't give a shit about other people's weddings"

marmite I understand that if someone is going on and on about their wedding, it might get a bit boring. As would someone organising twelvety office events in celebration of their impending nuptials.

However, the Mumsnet Mindset is to dismiss even the slightest reference to anything other than, as derxa puts it: the bride and groom dressed in jeans at the local registry office with a stranger as a witness as "load of old cock, nobody cares, why are you bothering?".

It's like Cool wives, only Cool Wedding Detractors. Sucking the joy out of people....

It's not just Mumsnet, it's people in real life who just don't give a fuck about weddings.

I like a big fun wedding where I can eat, drink, and be merry till dawn. I just don't want to hear about the preparation in forensic detail.

Just entertain me dahling!

When I was in my 20s I worked in a large office and there was always a wedding bore. When one finished another started. Yawn.
I think that's partly why I chose not to tell anyone I was getting married until afterwards.

It's not just Mumsnet, it's people in real life who just don't give a fuck about weddings

Sure. But without Mumsnet, Reni in Rotherham is unlikely to be hurting the feelings of Sarah in Somerset by telling her that all weddings are shit and she should be ashamed of herself for wanting to wear a dress.

I bloody love weddings. I've been to loads and I always have a brilliant time!

it is beyond boring

I hope your friends & family had the decency to thank you for eloping

I always say the best weddings are the ones you just hear about and don't have to go to

This is why I like MN so much - I get to choose what I want to talk about. It's ruined me for real life conversation, where I have to listen to other people talking about their pets, which is definitely more boring than the dreams conversation!

I don't mind wedding stuff. I like that they are so happy. Same with baby stuff.

Sibu buying sugared almonds though. Yeurgh!

PS a friend just shared news of his engagement this morning. he knows how I feel about weddings so he said to me "don't worry, we're not having a wedding - I couldn't get involved in a situation where chairs were forced to wear dresses".

that made me lol hysterically. (they are just going to the registry office with bridal parents who would be upset if they weren't there, it seems).

YANBU that sounds like a whole load of palava in the office. I like weddings, I've had 2 but that much fuss about anything in work would be a bit grating.

But, the whole "why would anyone bother with a big wedding? I'm just planning for the marriage" shtick is equally tedious.
You (not anyone in particular) are not morally superior/more likely to have a successful marriage because you didn't wear a white frock and have a meal with a bunch of family and friends.

It turns into the sodding four Yorkshire men of weddings on mumsnet in a competition for who spent the least money and gave the littlest shit. That is as dull as tales of dove releases, fairy castles and trained dancing weasels to me.