Upload photos of teenagers pigsty of a bedroom onto FB

[hennipenni]

My 2 teenage DD's share a room (14 and 18) and I'm sick to death of nagging them to tidy it up. The messy clothes I can deal with, what I can't are the cups, plates and fruit skins etc that are resembling a science experiment depicting the stages of decay!! Plus the frankly dangerous scissors left in the middle of the floor and straighteners left plugged in but switched off. So having nagged and nagged I've resorted to this threat. Am I being unreasonable?

No you're not.

I'd also give them a deadline to tidy it, after that time you go in with a bin bag and everythgin left out gets thrown away.

YABVU.

I don't know what you think you would achieve by doing this. A bit more disrespect, perhaps? I can't say I'd blame them, TBH.

I dont think public humiliation is the way to go tbh

Wouldn't it be easier just to stop them having food upstairs and un plug the straighteners if you're worried.

Why all the angst about a room? Leave them in their pigsty. Nagging doesn't work. YABVU.

I thought about doing exactly that but tbh I had second thoughts that it would only make things worse. It is so frustrating though so I can understand your pain.
What about the threat of posting on FB but then you'd have to be bold enough to carry it through.
Alternative would be to say that they have 1 hour to tidy the room else you are going in with a massive bin bag and taking whatever you find there to the dump/charity shop. At least that way it will get tidy (even if you have to do it yourself) and they realise that you carry out your threats (without the embarrassment of FB post). Good luck and hugs

Unreasonable is a dot to you.

Why are you nagging an ADULT?

Well whatever people think the threat has worked. Unfortunately there could be a safeguarding issue if it wasn't sorted. AND they are both old enough to understand the consequences of that. I have tried everything bar tidying it up myself and I'm not doing that.

Ugh. I am so fed up seeing parents humiliating their DC on facebook. It screams attention seeking.

Never Mention your DC on FB.
Save the anger for something important.

If you're sure it'll work in your case. I would have posed with the mess when I was a teen.

Safeguarding issue?

Yes a safeguarding issue, I'm a childminder so have little ones who may venture into their room.

Shut the door?

Are their bedrooms registered then? My friends are childminders and they haven't registered their children's bedrooms (why would they? They need some privacy after all.) and if they aren't registered, part of your job is to make sure they don't go where they aren't supposed to. Stair gates etc.
Anyway, glad it worked but it's not something I'd do!

Yabvvvu my ex's mum did this and he was early 20s it was atrocious

why allow the food in there room? seriously no food and no straighteners allowed the clothes? meh they are old enough when they run out and whine simply point them at the machine inform them clothing in the basket gets washed the rest it their responsibility

Meh, my teens room is a pigsty as well.

It's their space, not mine. I shit the door and don't look in.

They eventually do it a little when they can't handle it anymore.

We have one rule though, no food or drink in their rooms.

U2, you shit the door?

My DD's is pretty pigstyish, though no food thank God. She has no shame and wouldn't care less if I posted it up on FB

Instead of a shaming Facebook photo, why not take one now it's in a good state, print it out and stick it on their noticeboard? Tell them "The next time I tell you you room needs tidying, this is what it should look like.".

I learned this off a parenting programme about teenagers. You're giving them a clear visual prompt with no half measures. We all know there are different levels of "tidy".

Yabu I believe the 1984 Childrens act states that children have a right to privacy, I think that probably includes posting hoots on Facebook?

My DS2 is 11 and spends a lot of time in his room, it gets an absolute tip, I leave him a black bag but he still leaves sweet papers everywhere and clothes lying around and towels if he has had a bath, I just go in daily and once a month do a big clean.

DS1 has OCD. I make his room untidy apparently so I leave well alone. Its neater than my bedroom

I don't mind them having food and drink in their room, I understand that they need to relax after school/college which is why I allow them that. Anyway it was a last ditch attempt which luckily worked for me.