Everyone is jealous because I have a girl!!!!!

[MeganLew]

This is exactly what one my friends said to me today! She wreckons that some of her friends (who have only boys) are jealous because she has a "princess". She asked me if I find that people who only have children of one sex (she clearly meant boys) are jealous because they didn't end up having a girl, seriously what kind of person or normal person thinks this way never mind comes out and says it?.... I just so happen to have two girls and a boy but if all three of them had have been boys I wouldn't have felt envious of those who had girls not one bit.

The thing is my friend had two boys first and didn't hide her disappointment about the fact they weren't girls, but later pretended that she was happy "with her boys" A couple of years later she became pregnant again and was that desperate to know if she was expecting a girl that she persuaded a private clinic to scan her at 15 weeks instead of the usual 16/20 to find out the sex. She had a little girl and since she was born she has been all about her and she treats her boys so differently and is kind of mean to them. She goes on and on about how lucky she is that she's got a little girly and that she feels sorry for anyone who has all boys.

One of her so called close friends posts pictures of her two boys on Facebook quite regularly as she's very proud of them and all my friend had to say was that she was secretly jealous of her for having a girl and that she is bitter, but to me my friend is completely nuts, so aibu to want to distance myself from her? She clearly has issues and thinks that she's the perfect mother and has the perfect family when I know that in reality nothing could be further from the truth.

She sounds like an idiot. And you don't sound like you like her very much so yeah, time to call time on this friendship.

I'm really happy I have a boy personally although I'd have been happy with a girl too.

Your friend obviously tries to justify her own disappointment at having sons by saying "everyone must feel like that"

To be honest I think the friendship has run its course. I don't hate her or anything but she live Los in her own little bubble and everything is always about her. She says the strangest things and is so bitter and judgemental about anything and everything.

I think she is massively projecting and maybe feeling a tad guilty about how she feels about her sons.

I would very gently give her the opportunity to offload about these negative feelings towards her sons and having given birth to them.

She may either open up about it and get somewhere a bit more positive, or shut up and stop being negative, after realising how nasty she comes across!

YANBU. Unfortunately there is people like this..my brother and his ex have 3 lovely boys together, she never failed to hide her jealousy that me and my sister have got 2 girls.

People should be grateful they have got healthy children, boys or girls!

I do know of an ex colleague of mine who was very girly and she had a very late traumatic miscarriage of a girl then went onto have 2 boys. They were about 5 and 6 before she discovered at 43 she was pregnant with a girl and now she has one. She said she wanted to keep trying for a girl which is her perorgative.

I think boys are great, as are girls. My friend isn't the most maternal of people and when she had her boys she struggled with pnd but I think it's much more than that. To me she hates everything that comes with having boys yet completely spoils her daughter, it's kid of sad.

Yea- sounds like she's just projecting her own feelings on others. I feel a bit sorry for her boys. Before I had my DD, I had 2 DS's and loved them to bits. I was actually really nervous to have a girl at first. I would have been quite happy to have a whole gang of boys. As is it we are having our second DD soon so the gang is even now.

If she brought it up again I'd just say "Oh stop talking bollocks- boys are lovely and no one is jealous." Will shut her right up.

YANBU
I knew someone like this when my children were young and the friendship didn't survive. I couldn't understand her mindset at all. In that case it was that she had 2 girls when the rest of us had one of each. She would constantly say how much she hated little boys and how awful it must be having one

I knew a couple who had a daughter and wanted a boy. Their second child was also a boy and they were so disappointed. The father wouldn't speak to colleagues for weeks about the new baby. The mother told her neighbour, who had just given birth to her third boy, that she was a smug bitch about having sons. They moved house as they could not stand being near a family of all boys, it was like having salt rubbed into their wounds. I see them around nearly twenty years later and I can't bring myself to speak to them, but they are probably glad as I only have sons too.

She sounds like a fucking dick and I wouldn't be hesitant in telling her that she sounds like a fucking dick.

I have 2 boys. They are amazing. If I were to try for a 3rd I would be overjoyed with either sex. She is absolutely projecting.

I'm glad I had a girl after 2 boys, there was a big gap too.
However, with the big gap, being 37/8 and having gd, at the time I was really thankful everything was ok.
I'd have loved another boy just the same though.

She sounds unhinged.

Some people put too much emphasis on the gender of their wanted children and not enough emphasis on loving and nurturing the ones they have.

Hopefully most people just love their children for us they are, you know, even if they aren't healthy! Because I know I do.

She sounds like a right nasty ungrateful bitch. Making more of one child than others because of their gender. She's a disgrace.

"Genderdisappointment" is a very real issue for many people, see pages such as ingender.com for heartbreaking stories.

I have com across people who make silly comments but I dont listen or judge them. I love my boy to bits and am sure i would have loved a daughter equally. I didnt find out the sex when i was pregnant as it just didnt seem relevant at all but was so so happy to have a son.

Some friends have told me their disappointment at their 24 week scans when they were told the gender of their baby. I dont judge them, humans have feelings, those feelings are complex.

I feel very sorry for her kids.

I only have boys. I'm glad I have two boys. I do scouts and we don't (at the mo) have any girls at our troop. My boys can come on camp with me.

If i'd have had girls i would still have loved them the same, but I'm not jealous of my friend who had a girl a week before me. Anymore than she is jealous of my boys. (although she was a bit gutted that hers weren't twins)
All good.

When I was a little girl I always dreamed of having my own daughter. Lo and behold I had dd and I was over the moon. Got pregnant again and despite me saying I didn't mind what I got I secretly wanted another girl. When I found out he was a boy I was heartbroken and actually wondered what on earth do I do with a boy. However when he was born I couldn't believe how worried I was. I adore my ds and wouldn't be without him. Sad your friend cant love her kid for who they are not what they are

Yes I quite agree with you Lndn. Gender disappointement is very real. I also get no one can help how they feel. However being inwardly disappointed is one thing, but making more of one that another and letting your disappointment show is entirely another.

People can be dicks about gender. I don't know your friend well enough to comment, but I can't tell you my anecdote on this.

I had an acquaintance who I met when we both had our first child (boy). We were then pregnant again at the same time. She was desperate for a girl and convinced herself she was having one. She came out with every cliche in the book 'girls are yours for life, boys until they find a wife' and all sorts of claptrap. She wasn't a good friend, or I would have said something to be honest, but I bit my lip. I wasn't bothered what gender my second child was, having had a miscarriage and just hoping for a baby at the end of the pregnancy.

Well - I had a girl, she had a boy. And she was obviously raging about it. She couldn't help blurting out ridiculous statements about girls being 'such hard work/little madams' etc and bleating on about how great it was being the only female surrounded by 'her boys'. It was pathetic. I eventually cut contact with her. She was a jealous bitch. Some people are.

I CAN tell you, obviously.

I suppose people feel they would like one of each for that breadth of experience, but I have never regretted having my two boys and didn't feel the need to have a third of either sex.

I have been aware of other people feeling sorry for me though - it is annoying and condescending, after all, girls aren't perfect - I know because I was one.

YANBU.
someone i know has three boys. when the third one arrived she said "another boy". she'd have loved a girl.
another one i know has 3 girls and i know her DH wanted a boy.
yet another one has 2 girls and i know the DH wanted a boy.

finally, the DH of a friend wouldn't speak to her all day when they found out she was having a girl. knob.

Somebody i know has twinsesses she had her nephew round and said im glad i had my twinsesses boysare so rough oh and when the twinsesses arebeing naughty they arelittle divas !