Everyone is jealous because I have a girl!!!!!

[MeganLew]

This is exactly what one my friends said to me today! She wreckons that some of her friends (who have only boys) are jealous because she has a "princess". She asked me if I find that people who only have children of one sex (she clearly meant boys) are jealous because they didn't end up having a girl, seriously what kind of person or normal person thinks this way never mind comes out and says it?.... I just so happen to have two girls and a boy but if all three of them had have been boys I wouldn't have felt envious of those who had girls not one bit.

The thing is my friend had two boys first and didn't hide her disappointment about the fact they weren't girls, but later pretended that she was happy "with her boys" A couple of years later she became pregnant again and was that desperate to know if she was expecting a girl that she persuaded a private clinic to scan her at 15 weeks instead of the usual 16/20 to find out the sex. She had a little girl and since she was born she has been all about her and she treats her boys so differently and is kind of mean to them. She goes on and on about how lucky she is that she's got a little girly and that she feels sorry for anyone who has all boys.

One of her so called close friends posts pictures of her two boys on Facebook quite regularly as she's very proud of them and all my friend had to say was that she was secretly jealous of her for having a girl and that she is bitter, but to me my friend is completely nuts, so aibu to want to distance myself from her? She clearly has issues and thinks that she's the perfect mother and has the perfect family when I know that in reality nothing could be further from the truth.

With a girl you teach them about being a woman, with a boy, you teach them to respect women Really!!!!

What about respecting fellow human beings? Or do women not need to respect men or other women and should men not show respect to other men?

Just an example myother, no need to get picky.

Gosh, she sounds like hard work.

I have said before that I may be overly sensitive to it as I only have boys, but I do perceive a bit of anti boy sentiment on here which I feel quite sad about.

I get it in RL too. DS1 suffers with lack of self confidence and this came to a head at school. I spoke to them about it and they told me about a lovely group they'd set up which would be ideal for him but he couldn't go as it had been decided it was only for girls and it was a "safe" environment for them being away from boys etc. It made me :( and . They wouldn't consider a separate group for boys as they didn't see the need.

Tali was illustrating differences, myother. Boys and girls need to be taught to respect other people equally, so no difference there, hence no mention of it.

Myother, that is rather sad. My DD has social anxiety and I know how it effects her, i'd feel hurt if she didnt get support if she was a boy. And yes boys do deserve respect. That's why I hate it when males are all treated like uncontrollable perverts or that they cant be abused by females.

I didn't get the handbook on "teaching a girl to be a woman". How do I do that? Does it involve 50's style hair and make up lessons, and preparing the house and children for when your husband comes home?

I (hope) am teaching the dc to be people, that respect any other person, gay, straight, ballet dancing, footballing, pink, brown or blue. I am teaching them that everyone is different, and if one person likes doing x, another y, then thats fine.

A very poor example Tali I raise my children to be good, honest members of society, they show respect as appropriate regardless of whether the person is a female or male, rich or poor or old or young.

You've made is sound like men/boys should behave differently to someone based on their gender which I thought is exactly the type of behavior we shouldn't be encouraging?

okay Tali, I see you have clarified further while I was typing.

and yes it is sad.

I've got three lovely daughters and I love 'em to bits and I'm just thankful for being blessed with *them.

People should realise that you get what mother nature decides your going to have and be thankful that you have been graced with them the children that you do have!.

• As awkward- high maintenance- argumentative- cantankerous- sullen -moody -cussed- demanding- bitchin- drama queens that they are, still love them to bits unconditionally:-)

mild I did see a thread on here a while ago where a mum had 2 boys already and was upset she was pregnant with a girl. That was equally strange to me.

I thought about this once. About the fact that a daughter may be more likely to look after your interests in old age, visit you and the like. You would be more included with grandchildren etc. Stronger bonds all round. Then I looked at my sisters wrt my mother and thought, nah! There is no certainly with that. One of my brothers was much more solicitous of my mother's wellbeing.

Indeed pang. My sister and I live in a different country to my dad. Our brother lives about 20 mins walk from him.

I know a woman who dotes on her baby son over her toddler daughter, because she thinks he will always be around and take care of her. There's some quote 'A daughter is a daughter until she's a wife, but a son is a son for all of his life', something like that? But in my experience it's the daughters who tend to stay closer (and you certainly see that in the hundreds of 'I break my back to care for elderly DPs and ILs while my brothers do fuck all' threads on here.)

(and you certainly see that in the hundreds of 'I break my back to care for elderly DPs and ILs while my brothers do fuck all' threads on here.)

Whilst that may be true, you can't base it on what goes on on here as the site is predominately used by women and also men may be doing the same but not choose to talk about it on an internet forum.

Who knows. I do think it is probably the case that more care is done by women but you really cant use MN as an objective source.....for anything :)

When I was pregnant for the first time my preference was to have a boy, no real reason. At my scan I found out and I was having a girl and instantly my preference changed and I was delighted. With my second I wanted another girl, I have sisters and wanted the same for DD1. At my scan I was told I was having a boy and again I was over the moon, one of each I thought how lovely. A few weeks later during another scan it was confirm that my boy was in fact a girl. Although shocked I was delighted to be having another girl. Basically it appears either way deep down I wasnt fussed and was just happy to be having a healthy baby.

micah - things like being a bride, pregnancy, childbirth...etc. Obviously there's no guarantee a daughter would do any of those, but they are exclusively female issues. You can't go wedding dress shopping with a son, etc. You can't share your pregnancy symptoms/experiences with a son (well, you could but not much point).

I think it's a bit much to argue that there are absolutely no differences in raising boys and girls - even with all the equality in the world, there just is.

mild - the thing is, I wouldn't agree that there IS any "anti boy" sentiment. Hence the "precious mummy syndrome" where it seems like people get all pearl clutchy because there are some people who would themselves have a personal preference for a daughter, and therefore don't consider the life in aforementioned uterus/household to be the pinnacle of perfection.

There will always be people who have a preference for one sex over another. I don't see what's so weird about that, unless it is so pronounced that it impacts the way they treat their child.

Additionally, even though it's bizarrely old fashioned, men will often be presumed to want sons and women to want daughters. So women might get told "oh maybe next time" with a son, and a man told exactly the same for a daughter.

I'm expecting my first very soon and it's a boy. I personally couldn't give a shiny shit if a friend or colleague would consider a boy to be a disappointment - they are allowed their own opinions!

I was never a bride, so can't share that experience. Or childbirth, as I had CS.

I am a failure as a mum of a girl.

Likewise Micah. Never been married and a CS.

A CS is still giving birth to a child for god's sake! It's not like it ONLY counts if you have a vaginal birth. Good lord. I did also quite clearly caveat that there is no guarantee a daughter would do any of those

This is sort of proving my point that there are some people who will use any excuse to get arsey about things.

Chippednailvarnish I said at the outset that the older I got the more I wished I had a daughter, so guilty as charged. And of course I have no idea whether I'd be close to a daughter if I had one. I just remember how close us 4 girls were to my mom and how we talked about everything under the sun. I see my friends (of my age) with daughters and they have a closeness with their daughters that they don't have with their sons, though I am aware that this is not necessarily the case.

Your 2nd para makes you sound like a very unpleasant woman and you are making allegations that cannot be substantiated. You obviously hold some grudge against me from other posts, probably the MIL threads - who knows, or cares. And no I haven't abandoned my previous ideals at all - I was merely putting forward the view that there appear to me innate differences between the genders. Last night I watched a TV programme about 4 year olds and girls are 5 months ahead in speech an language at that age and use conversation more than boys.

You mention sexist stereotypes of the 50s -they persisted well into the 60s and 70s I can assure you. You haven't commented on the fact that you think stereotypes of genders need combatting and then proceed to stereotype people of a "certain generation." Maybe that's why you're cross as you don't have any response.

Mildvirago I absolutely agree that there is no female "hardwiring" to make us more nurturing and in the main it is social conditioning that makes females more caring/nurturing, but as I said before, I still think there is something innate that separates the genders. I agree that there is little point giving dolls to boys if the rest of society has very definite views on how girls and boys should be treated. I still remember my 3 year old boy pushing a doll's pram to the local shops, and we had several comments about "boys not pushing prams" and a few "knowing smiles" and on the way back he pushed it with his arms out stretched and in a more aggressive fashion.

I also think there is a fundamental difference between the male and female psychology - women generally have more interest in human relationships than men. The divorce rate is approx. 43% and rising and women far out number men as petitioners. I don't know what we can surmise from this, other than marriage suits men more than women.

And of course I agree that not all daughters are going to have close relationships with their parents and sons may be nurturing and caring. It would be ridiculous to think otherwise.