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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say no stilettos?!!

98 replies

RosieLig · 01/11/2015 21:51

I'm in a quandary.....

We have a lovely original wooden floor in our house. Last time we had a Christmas party someone wore really spikey shoes and you could see where she had been standing as there were dents all over the floor.

We take the rug up as it's pale and we don't want wine splashes on it.

I really cringe at putting something on the invite but equally I don't want my lovely old floors trashed.

WWYD? Am I being too Hyacinth?! First world problem, I know....

OP posts:

pookamoo · 02/11/2015 14:12

We had a Christmas party in a rented flat where stilettos would definitely have caused a lot of damage. We put it on the invitation that we respectfully asked people not to wear sharp heels, and I set a precedent by going barefoot myself.

One girlfriend of a friend had maybe not seen the invitation and wore spiky shoes... she walked in and left a trail of pit-marks before she realised everyone else had taken their shoes off. We lost part of our deposit on the flat.

pookamoo · 02/11/2015 14:14

(The floor in our case was an expensive vinyl/rubber type, rather than wooden)

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal · 02/11/2015 14:50

If anyone gets pissy about having to take off spikey shoes to protect the floor, then they are vain arsehats to be honest.

Why not just have a no heels policy, with a sign on the door "heels off please!"

noeffingidea · 02/11/2015 15:10

That's awful pookamoo.Seeing as floors other than carpet (especially wood) are so common nowadays you would think people would have the basic common sense not to wear stilletoes indoors. Obviously not . The mind boggles.

expatinscotland · 02/11/2015 15:18

Just send round a text. No stilettos please. Don't wait till they are at the door. Or give them slippers. WTAF.

MrsKoala · 02/11/2015 15:41

Nobody walks round their own house in shoes.

We do often and i know lots who do.

It's also very different being dressed up for a party and being asked to take part of that outfit off. Fair enough if warned in advance to wear alternatives (altho i would roll my eyes) but i have refused to go to a party when i was asked to take my shoes off at the front door (you could see all these uncomfortable looking women in little black dresses and dolled up to the nines stood in their stockinged feet). In my family we consider it the height of rudeness to ask people to take off their shoes. Floors are for walking on. Form follows function and all that. I just hate it.

Roussette · 02/11/2015 15:46

I am more than happy to take off spike heels if I were to wear them somewhere with wood floors, but I do feel I should be allowed to wear wedges or shoes with chunkier heels.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 02/11/2015 16:02

Do people still wear stilettos? The 80s are over, I'd be amazed if it was an issue.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 02/11/2015 16:23

I'd put it on the invitation tbh. My friend has wooden floors and always says this. Everyone respects it.

TheDowagerCuntess · 02/11/2015 17:25

LOL Joffrey, have you been into a shoe shop recently!

Floors are for walking on. Form follows function and all that.

This.

Katedotness1963 · 02/11/2015 17:35

My sil ruined their wooden floors with her heels. Strange thing is, she makes everyone else take their shoes off at the front door and still clumps about in her high heels.

GoEasyPudding · 02/11/2015 17:43

I had to put it on my wedding information sheet as the venue had precious floors.

We had the heel covers supplied just in case.

I would say on the invite and say why. No one will want to ruin your old floors and they will choose a chunkier heel shape.

If the party is quite a dressy affair then a total shoes off policy won't work. A more casual party then yes, shoes off everyone!

I wonder if the fitted carpet and the spike heel were invented at the same time? The 60's?

expatinscotland · 02/11/2015 17:54

'i have refused to go to a party when i was asked to take my shoes off at the front door (you could see all these uncomfortable looking women in little black dresses and dolled up to the nines stood in their stockinged feet).'

Yeah, I'd have left, too.

Pipbin · 02/11/2015 18:07

but i have refused to go to a party when i was asked to take my shoes off at the front door

Fine. If you are going to treat my house and my possession with such disrespect just so it doesn't spoil your outfit then I don't want you in my house. 3 hours of your life is not more important than my floor. Sorry.

All my friends take their shoes off at the door. I have never asked anyone to do so, I just have friends who respect my house.

ingeniousidiot · 02/11/2015 18:08

Anyone else remembering the theft of Carrie's shoes in SATC?

Seeyounearertime · 02/11/2015 18:15

Stupid suggestion time :)

Throw a slumber themed party!
Everyone come in their pyjamas / onesies / slippers / etc.

MrsKoala · 02/11/2015 18:21

It has nothing to do with respect - it just would never occur to me to automatically take my shoes off because it is something that i and no one i know does or has done before. Is this a recent thing because absolutely no one i knew did it when i was growing up? It was only when i joined the nct group 3 years ago that i discovered it was a thing - apart from piss takes on tv programmes of course and the party i had previously refused to go into.

I have the most gorgeous oak floors but i still wouldn't even think of asking anyone to take their shoes off because floors are for walking on. When it was the NCT turn to come to my house i had to keep saying to them 'no please keep your shoes on' at the door, they seemed bewildered. I don't want peoples sweaty feet all over my floor!

The party i refused to go to wasn't a friend of mine, but a date took me along years ago and i was quite shocked, it seemed so rude and ludicrous. Had i been warned i would have dressed accordingly, but to just expect people to take their shoes off is rude and lacking in respect for them.

It's one of those MN arguments which no one ever gets from the other side. Just as you are outraged at the rudeness and lack of respect from shoe wearers, so are we from the shoe removers.

Perhaps it's a class thing?

Doobigetta · 02/11/2015 18:35

I think it's absolutely fine to ask people in advance not to wear them, and anyone who ignores you is an arse and can be asked to remove their shoes. I'd be a bit annoyed if I hadn't known in advance and had to spend the evening with freezing feet or ladders everywhere though. Or naff slippers on the bottom of my carefully-chosen outfit. But if you know, you can pick your shoes with that in mind.

expatinscotland · 02/11/2015 18:41

'Fine. If you are going to treat my house and my possession with such disrespect just so it doesn't spoil your outfit then I don't want you in my house. 3 hours of your life is not more important than my floor. Sorry. '

No big loss .

ThreePipeProblem · 02/11/2015 18:46

The OP isn't talking about shoes though. She'd be happy for people to wear shoes just not stiletto heels. Have a look at the photo I posted at the bottom of the first page. It doesn't just make little marks but dents, which then hold onto the dirt and look even worse.

Original poster

RosieLig · 02/11/2015 21:33

Just to clarify, we're a shoes on house! I don't expect anyone to take their shoes off when they visit. I find it a bit uncomfortable when people do - it feels weirdly intimate, haha!!!

I just don't want stilettos trashing the floor. Happy for any other form of shoe!

It's amazing the different responses on here...

OP posts:

WitchWay · 02/11/2015 21:53

I'd let people know in advance.

One New Year's Eve a very long time ago I punctured a friend's beanbag with my stilettos in several places. She made me mend it with a hangover

TheDowagerCuntess · 02/11/2015 22:10

I have to say, I agree with MrsK.

I've been on these threads before, and agree that they run and run, and never the twain meets.

To me, prioritising your floor over your guests' comfort is just bizarre priorities.

And throwing another grenade into the mix - 'my house, my rules' types come across rather as killjoys to me. Spill the wine, kick your (stiletto) heels up, push on through 'til dawn, and enjoy yourself. Relax about the floor.

Sidge · 02/11/2015 22:26

If you go to a function on board HMS Warrior you're not allowed to wear stilettos as they damage the wooden floorboards.

Just tell guests your house is a historic monument and stilettos are not permitted

Original poster

RosieLig · 02/11/2015 22:27

TDC - that's who I'd like to be. Not caring, pushing on through till dawn... but I just can't fight it!!!

They'll be comfier in more comfy shoes anyway.. I'm just going to ask the most likely offenders nicely.

OP posts:

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