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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no stilettos?!!

98 replies

RosieLig · 01/11/2015 21:51

I'm in a quandary.....

We have a lovely original wooden floor in our house. Last time we had a Christmas party someone wore really spikey shoes and you could see where she had been standing as there were dents all over the floor.

We take the rug up as it's pale and we don't want wine splashes on it.

I really cringe at putting something on the invite but equally I don't want my lovely old floors trashed.

WWYD? Am I being too Hyacinth?! First world problem, I know....

OP posts:
Roussette · 02/11/2015 07:35

I would not be offended to be asked not to wear stillettos to someone's party when they've got a wooden floor if that's a worry to them.

I would however want to wear thicker heels though and I would not be going to a party and wearing slippers! It hardly goes with a LBD does it...

I've got a christmas drinks do coming up here - champagne cocktails (alright cheap fizz with a splash of kir!), nice nibbles, dressing up etc. I would be right put off to see bare feet and slippers, it's weird. I also don't want to be looking at bunions, people's toes and feet whilst passing round my nibbles Grin

ArriettyMatilda · 02/11/2015 07:40

Shoes in houses shudders. Sorry mine would be off at the front door, but then you can't hold fancy Christmas parties in a flat! I never feel comfortable wearing shoes in someone house. I can't see how it's unreasonable to let people know in advance so they can plan accordingly.

Djelibeyb · 02/11/2015 07:42

YADNBU It's easy to wear heels instead of stilettos. It's not easy to repair a 200 year old original floor. If anyone gets offended they have no regard for others tbh.

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 02/11/2015 07:46

As attendee I'd appreciate some guideline for footwear at a house party! I generally don't get dressed up for parties in someone's house so I would be in trainers or flat squashy boots (and take them off on arrival) but my anxiety goes crazy when it is a dressy party in someone's house cos I always take shoes off when I go into someone's house. Always. So i never know what to do about dressy parties in houses. I recently went to a very posh 40th in someone's house and spent most of the time in the garden (other people were out there too, I wasn't being entirely weird) cos the shoe thing bothered me so much!

Make it a Christmas fancy dress shoeless party. I'd love that as a guest ;)

TheDowagerCuntess · 02/11/2015 07:46

Hmm, I'm torn on this. We have wooden floors throughout, and the idea is that they take the brunt of whatever is thrown at them. I've read of people building new houses, and throwing heavy chains down on the wooden floors to give them that worn, lived in look.

Yes, I would take my heels off at someone's house if they expected me to; I always remove shoes on entering. But I would never expect, let alone ask, anyone to take them off at mine. I secretly think (but would never say IRL) that it is desperately Hyacinth Bucket to do so - people should come, kick up their heels, spill wine and have a good time. Sod the floor - it's been here for over a century - it can take another party.

Scotinoz · 02/11/2015 07:51

I was at a hens party just the other week and there was a note on my the door explaining the floors had just been refinished and could we please remove heels. I've also got friends with white carpets who ask you to take off shoes. And a Japanese friend who provides lovely slippers

I know some are, but I'm honestly not offended by being asked to remove foot wear.

TheDowagerCuntess · 02/11/2015 08:10

Our wooden kitchen table has had entire bottles of red wine soaked into it. It looked like an abattoir the morning after, but 4 years later, you would never even know.

Fabellini · 02/11/2015 08:20

I have no problem being asked on an invite not to wear spiky heels, no problem at all....because then I'll think "fair enough, I'll wear X with y instead", but I would be a little narked if I got to a party and was then asked to take off my shoes. Partly because I don't really wear dresses, do I'd be likely to spend the evening tripping over my trouser legs!

noeffingidea · 02/11/2015 08:28

That's different to damage to a wooden floor, dowager . I've seen that sort of damage, it makes pock marks all over which are permanent.

Mellifera · 02/11/2015 08:46

I'd put it on the invitation so people leave their stilettos at home and wear something they can keep on if they wish.

I have had invitations like it and have also put it on mine. Wooden floor is ruined by those marks, there is no way it can be sanded.
We have wooden floor everywhere and it takes all kinds of abuse, dc, dogs, etc but stiletto heels are not abuse, they are the death of wooden floor.

YANBU

TheDowagerCuntess · 02/11/2015 08:49

Yes it is, but as I say, it wouldn't bother me on our wooden floors either. Clearly I'm in a minority.

Grapejuicerocks · 02/11/2015 09:01

If people don't understand that you don't want nice floors ruined, then that makes them a bit of an arse then, doesn't it.

DisappointedOne · 02/11/2015 09:40

If you don't want to ban heels, get some of these.

cleanheels.co.uk

Just ask anyone wearing thin heels to put them on.

DextersMistress · 02/11/2015 09:46

I don't think yabu but if you're uncomfortable asking people not to wear them, how about a couple of cheap rugs from ikea?

SummerNights1986 · 02/11/2015 10:05

If it's real wood then I can't understand how stilletos can cause damage tbh. Wood is...well it's wood, it's solid. Yes, you could damage it with something really sharp, but as thin as stiletto heels are, they're not shaped into an absolute point and also have rubber on the bottom. You may get a kind of smudge mark, but pit holes?

I once wrecked my mums new kitchen floor with stilletos - but that was lino so obviously dented at every step.

are you sure your real wood floors aren't lino op

Crabbitface · 02/11/2015 10:14

Yes yes say something. We've just had an Halloween party and our lovely floors got wrecked. But to be honest even worse than the floor being completely pockmarked was the forensic examination carried out the following morning by an irate DH. He concluded there were three different offenders judging by the different shapes, weight distribution etc. No amount of discomfort at asking your pals to wear non stilettos will exceed that of watching your twitching husband on his hand and knees having a melt down about his gorgeous floors.

DisappointedOne · 02/11/2015 10:25

Wood is...well it's wood, it's solid

No, no it's not.

noeffingidea · 02/11/2015 10:28

summernights do things not happen if you don't understand them then?
It's simple, pressure = weight over surface area. Stilletto heels have a very small surface area, most people are quite heavy (think at least a hundred pounds) and that creates enough pressure to dent wood.
And of course the OP knows the difference between lino and wood. How ridiculous.

DisappointedOne · 02/11/2015 10:28

Think about it for a second. A woodpecker can knock a hole into a tree. Do you really think 70+ kilos of woman being transmitted down a 1cm square won't do something to a slice of tree?

Birdsgottafly · 02/11/2015 10:33

My DDs love their skyscraper heels, I used to. We do the whole "little dress/full makeup/tan".

But they take slippers to friends houses, or just take their shoes off, when their feet have had enough.

They would enjoy buying Elf and Christmas themed Slippers/Slipper socks to wear.

You'll wheedle out those that aren't friends and just up for a good night and those that come to pose.

Original poster
RosieLig · 02/11/2015 13:08

Thank you all! Great advice and some comments really made me laugh!

No it's definitely not lino...

I'm going to text the possible offenders and ask them nicely. I'm not going to put it on the invite. Hopefully that way everyone will be happy and no one will need to take off their shoes. Anyone with spiked heels will be gently steered in the direction of the kitchen which has tiled floor!

Thanks all.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 02/11/2015 13:28

One of my friends often wears stilettos when she visits. The first time she did it she left a pattern of V-shaped marks in the floor, floating softwood floor.

We moved house where we have the more traditional parquet floor - the hallway is hardwood and the rest of the floor is pine parquet.

Her first visit to the new place, I forgot to ask her to remove her heels, and we got the V-marks again (less so on the hardwood, but still there nonetheless). Now, every time she visits, she removes her heels. She does this because she's a friend, and not a dick head. I didn't need to ask her. She'd be horrified at the thought of leaving more scars on the floor.

ThreePipeProblem · 02/11/2015 13:39

I've tried to attach a photo of what these marks look like.

To say no stilettos?!!
Collaborate · 02/11/2015 14:04

These are what mine look like.

To say no stilettos?!!
To say no stilettos?!!