leaving baby to cry

[contractor6]

Have a newborn baby which is ebf, mentioned to dh today am dehydrated because when I think to have a drink she wants feeding or starts crying and then I forget. Dh says I should leave her to cry until I have got a drink or finished whatever I am doing, I disagree as instinct is to pick her up. AIBU or is he? (currently making him listen to Christmas songs in the car until agrees with me)

Carry the baby with you while you get a glass of water. It's what I do

Deal with yourself first. Like in an airplane crash! I always fed and watered myself first. How else will you continue to feed otherwise?!

It's hardly leaving her to cry for you to get a glass of water then go to her. Crying for a few seconds won't do her any harm.

Either take the baby with you or leave her until you get your drink. But it'll affect your care of her if you don't look after your own needs.

For the few minutes it will take to get a drink and have some your baby will not suffer. However, if you don't look after yourself you will both suffer.

It's not like you're leaving the baby to cry for hours on end ignoring its needs. Get a drink and then go and pick up the baby.

Take her and fetch a drink. I also used to keep a bottle of water next to the various places i sat to feed. If i used them i would refil after the feed.

Any reason Sonny Jim can't bring you a drink while you're feeding?

(I wouldn't leave a baby to cry for "several minutes" every time they wanted a feed. Put water everywhere you might need it.)

Reading its does sound I ABU, just sounded outrageous when DH suggested it!
Sighing - going to use your idea tomorrow. Must have baby brain to not have done that already!

Baby crying while your grabbing a drink is hardly leaving them crying...my formula fed babies always have to wait while I make their bottles which involves them screaming for a few minutes. Whilst I don't like it there's not much I can do about it and they soon settle back down.

Dissapointed- he does when he's there and bring snacks and takes dd off me after to wind her afterwards but he's back at work now and long shifts.

I never felt OK to let my dds cry, I tried to have a bottle of water and other things I needed next to the sofa ready to go. If need be I would carry and joggle the baby to buy an extra few mins to get a drink before feeding.

Fill a big bottle of water and just leave it in the living room for when you need it in the day?

My first born was a very cranky baby who cried whenever she was put down, for 4 months. If I never let her cry Id never have showered, gone to the toilet, eaten or drank. Your baby will be fine if you need to grab a drink or food.

Take her with you or bung her in a sling! That way you get your drink and scoff cake and even go for a wee with your hands free
Congratulations on your lovely baby.

Set up a table with everything you need before a feed as it is difficult to go it once you've started. I would leave a newborn to cry as it can be difficult to latch them on when everyone is feeling stressed. I had water, snacks and my phone/tv remote and then I was set.

@ Christmas songs

I do understand how you feel though I can remember crying and asking my poor dad to stop the car in a really dangerous place as I couldn't bear 5 day dd crying for less than a minute after our first trip out. It is natural and normal to feel distress at not being able to respond to a tiny babies needs immediately it does get easier and i certainly learnt to get drinks, phone etc before settling down to feed. My second baby obviously had to have his needs balanced against my older child and it doesn't seem to have harmed him.

The baby won't explode if left to cry for 60 seconds. YABU.

No one with a newborn baby is bu, even when they are! Congratulations

I wouldn't leave a newborn to cry, but I wouldn't consider the time it takes you to get a glass of water "leaving her to cry"

I'd advise you to sort yourself out first (drink, food, tv remote, phone etc) then pick up the baby. But I never managed it myself! I used to literally run to the basket at the first squawk..

Water bottles everywhere. Also, a water boiler so that it is always possible to make tea without delay.

Does your baby show hunger signs before crying? I can generally tell when DD is getting hungry and have chance up grab a drink/snack/a book for the toddler etc before she starts to cry.

Yup, bottles of water and tea/coffee flask too. Ebf is such thirsty work, you must look after yourself.