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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my date was cheeky?

70 replies

iwanttobeadixon · 01/11/2015 13:43

So from dating this guy for a while I kind of get the impression that he might be very tight.

Or that he'd be more generous if I was his girlfriend.

(I never expect the man to pay for everything btw but it doesn't exactly feel even right now)

We went to see a game last night, I suggested and bought the tickets (cost me around £40) he never offered to pay me back. Which was fine as I was the one who suggested that night out.

We were running late so we just grabbed a McDonalds before the game - which he paid for. He sat there and complained that the meal had cost £10.

During the break he went to get a coffee for himself. I handed him £5 and said I'm just going to toilet and could you please get me a coffee as well (as the queue for the womens I knew would be really long).

I came back and he handed me my change and he'd clearly bought himself a coffee out of my money too.

Aibu to think this is so cheeky?

It's not the money it's more the fact that he did it. He clearly had no intention of buying me a coffee but was more than happy to use my money to get him one after I'd paid for the night out.

Talk some sense into me.

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 01/11/2015 13:45

Yes, he sounds cheeky/tight and it would really annoy me.

oneowlgirl · 01/11/2015 13:45

Dump him - nothing worse than stinginess!

NHKX2 · 01/11/2015 14:04

Dump him now or you'll only end up dumping him later. Not only does he sound cheap, he sounds selfish, which is far worse.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 01/11/2015 14:07

I never minded paying when I was on dates, but from what you've described, definitely stingy, and I can't think of the right word, but, miserly? I'd have been shocked too and think it was rude of him, no further dates. If he's being tight now, imagine every birthday, Christmas, celebration hence.

banff82 · 01/11/2015 14:07

Ugh no, he definitely sounds stingy - and a bit of a chancer - and if he's like that at the dating/trying to impress stage it's unlikely to get better!

GwynethPaltrowIamNot · 01/11/2015 14:11

Is he working ? tight bastard

ilovesooty · 01/11/2015 14:12

I think he should have offered to pay for his ticket.

TwoInTheMourning · 01/11/2015 14:14

He's tight

MadeMan · 01/11/2015 14:16

Bit cheeky, but he might have just wrongly assumed the fiver was to cover his coffee as well.

bloodyteenagers · 01/11/2015 14:20

I could be cross wires.
So you asked him if he wanted to go to whatever it was? It might not have occurred to him to cough up.
Then the coffee, so you handed him cash and said here blah, blah, blah he might have assumed you were buying him one as well.

Epilepsyhelp · 01/11/2015 14:24

Complaining about the cost in macdonalds would have been enough for me. You don't buy something for someone then moan about it, no matter what it costs.

WilsonWilsonWoman · 01/11/2015 14:26

lol at him complaining about the price of a maccie d's! Have you ever been to an actual restaurant with table clothes and cutlery with him yet? He'll be in for a shock, or expect you to pay! Grin

You know what you need to do...

BabyGanoush · 01/11/2015 14:31

stinginess brings out pettiness in me.

I don't like who I am, when I am around a stingy guy

So I would never date one. No fun.

sky1010 · 01/11/2015 14:34

YANBU.

Also, even if you suggested it- the fact that he didn't even offer to pay for his share of the tickets speaks volumes.

If it was the other way around, I guarantee he would have wanted you to pay half, right down to the last penny.

Bluewombler2k · 01/11/2015 14:35

Get rid. Sorry to sound brusque but my exp was like this and I ended up getting in so much debt because it became the norm for me to pay for everything it seemed and I ended up really full of resentment for him. I did get my own back when our house was sold though, years of unshared mortgage repayments, bills, childcare carefully worked out and taken out of his share before it reached his account Grin

VenusInFauxFurs · 01/11/2015 14:38

Two coffees for under a fiver? Bargain.

(Misses point of thread) Halloween Smile

SaucyJack · 01/11/2015 14:39

He's tight and rude.

Why did he not offer to buy you a coffee when he said he was going rather than you having to give him the money to get you one?

Dump. And tell him why. He needs to be told he's an entitled tightarse.

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 01/11/2015 14:44

Dump him and please, for the sake of everyone else, tell him why!

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 01/11/2015 14:44

Great minds, Saucy!

Gladysandtheflathamsandwich · 01/11/2015 14:49

YY to telling him exactly why you are dumping him, otherwise he will keep thinking that this ok and you never know, it might make a difference it wont btw

ImperialBlether · 01/11/2015 14:49

So after you'd bought the tickets he said, "I'm going to buy a coffee" and you felt you had to give him the money for your own? Couldn't you have said, "Great, get me one, will you?" What do you think his reaction would've been?

And, no, as his girlfriend, you'd be even worse off. The only money he'd spend would be on things he could show people, to show his generosity.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 01/11/2015 14:51

I couldn't be with someone like this. If you're happy counting every penny and splitting the bill with a calculator then just be more specific about who's paying for what. However, if you can't get your other half lunch/tickets/coffee without weighing up who has spent more this week, what's the point?

Can't stand mean people.

ShebaShimmyShake · 01/11/2015 14:54

Cheap with money, cheap with love.

flapinko · 01/11/2015 14:58

Dump him immediately! Tight people are generally not very nice people, i.e. calculating/petty-minded/selfish and not very charming/chivalrous, to boot. I've dumped friends for less, and YY to telling him why his sorry ass is dumped! What a flaming cheek.

Duckdeamon · 01/11/2015 15:02

Dump. Complaining about the cost of a McD's before going to a date someone else has paid for is pretty bad!