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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should men post on mumsnet ?

245 replies

jaffacake2 · 01/11/2015 13:06

Just wondering what other people think about men posting on mumsnet. I have been reading threads which men have contributed to and some are very funny but some are slightly concerning.
The man who wrote about his disastrous OLD was very amusing. It was great to read about awful dates from a male perspective. But there was also a sex thread about whether it was unreasonable to be asked to just show your boobs so your partner can masturbate regularly. The thread was going well until a man joined giving his personal thoughts on needs of men. The thread slowed and I felt that women had been intimidated by his opinions. Maybe not but would welcome a discussion about men being onsite.
Perhaps it should be renamed people net rather than mumsnet

OP posts:
OfficeGirl1969 · 02/11/2015 12:30

Personally I think anyone who wants to post, and who has something valid to add is more than welcome to post. To be honest, the more the merrier, and I actually think it's nice to get a male viewpoint sometimes......

BreakingDad77 · 02/11/2015 12:40

I find the website really useful and interesting, which all dads should do but for various reasons don't always.

If a anyone starts being creepy or generally trolling the feminism boards there is a reporting system in place.

buymeabook · 02/11/2015 13:01

I think there might be some correlation between people who announce they are men and arseholeness. Because often when they do that it's in a "I'm a MAN, now gather round and feast on my wisdom" type way.

I'm not sure how you can tell whether someone is a man otherwise, but being able to resist announcing they are A MAN is a reasonable indication that they might not be an arse.

Sgtmajormummy · 02/11/2015 13:48

Does anyone remember that SHOUTYnumber poster who put up a good fight back in September, IIRC?

He immediately started off on the wrong foot (according to MN etiquette) with his first very verbose thread asking how soon you jumped in the sack with a new partner, but then once he learned the (unwritten and even more opaque for men) rules, I thought he turned out to be quite a good egg.

Hope he namechanged and is now an honorary member, but I have my doubts... MNers are high maintenance.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 02/11/2015 13:53

You might think I'm a paranoid twat, but I'm not a fool either.

I think you are neither, I think something must have happened in your life to skew things and give you the opinion you have, I have no right to diminish or dismiss your opinion.
I'm not trying to change what you think or argue against your right to say what you like, I am however compelled to correct posts that are factually wrong. Don't take this the wrong way, I feel the same about all bigots, weather it's "I hate suffragettes", "I hate the disabled" or “I hate social scroungers" I will correct them based on facts and the fact is 1 in 4 members of 4chan are female, it's impossible to guess who is who based on screennames and anonymous posts, so saying the site was invading by all men is wrong.

The wider discussion of course is that people are not born twats, Being born with a penis doesn't give you an arrogant attitude, so where is this coming from in the men who do display it, is it learnt behaviour, is it society, biological perhaps?
It's all very interesting stuff to me.

what I mean is I don't understand why men who aren't dads come here for

Because there is a brilliant EastEnders thread where the posters rip the plot holes apart.

It's also the best place on the internet for disability advice and support.
It may have started out as a site for mums many years ago, but it has become a site for anyone who needs advice and support in life.
It's a resource that shouldn't be denied to anyone who needs it.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 02/11/2015 13:54

I'm a childfree by choice man but where I work there are often children present, added to which I have a goddaughter. I therefore assume that I can add the word "god" into the bit under the logo that says "by parents for parents"

DeoGratias · 02/11/2015 14:47

Anyone can post. The biggest hurdle for all websites of this kind is getting enough critical mass to make it interesting so anywhere which manages to gain enough posters is worth being on.

Lweji · 02/11/2015 15:04

We cannot possibly know who is posting and for what reason.

Unless people had to register with proper proof of identity, it will continue to be so.

Furthermore, all posts are easily seen and searchable.

People should remember this at all times when posting and reading.

Sparklingbrook · 02/11/2015 15:29

Caution is never a bad thing.

usual · 02/11/2015 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 02/11/2015 16:09

I don't hate men. I'm just very wary of some of the male posters on MN

I have felt wary of some of the female posters on MN Halloween Grin

Notimefortossers · 02/11/2015 17:16

There's a thread going in this topic at the moment that I think proves why men shouldn't be discouraged from posting. Poor guy just really needs some advice and this is actually the perfect place for him to ask

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 02/11/2015 17:54

I'm just very wary of some of the male posters on MN.

Give us a list then I wouldn't know who's who! I just rank posters into "Twat", "Potential Twat" and "Non Twat"

That covers most eventualities....

Sparklingbrook · 02/11/2015 17:56

I have many more categories than that. Grin

Enjolrass · 03/11/2015 05:26

This is a fair point, but there is an issue with male idiots that isn't quite as prevalent with female idiots or non-parents. It's that some men (note I said some, not all) think that their opinion is more valid than a woman's opinion. Some men give advice to women despite never having experienced being in their position, and not being able or willing to understand what it's like. In a patriarchal society, some men lack respect for women, and if those men want to post here, that's a problem

That is a fair point. However, again women do that too. Women, on here and RL, telling other women how they should parent despite having no kids or a 2 week old. But they are experts on teenagers.

and there are plenty of women who think the world would be a better place if people just listened and followed their advice.

Some women lack respect for other women too. Arrogance is not a trait that only some men have.

justSomeGuyYouKnow · 09/03/2017 21:06

Thanks folks for this thread! I too had been wondering whether men (me!) should be posting here.

But as a parent, I thought this might be an obvious place for people to look for family related stuff - and I found some relevant stuff, and a desire to contribute, and people seeming to be okay with it, so here goes ... I'm off to that other thread to contribute.

Thanks again
guy

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 09/03/2017 21:18

I wear my gonads on the outside...
And mostly post in the mental health pages after a total breakdown because mental health is pretty shitty for anyone. I often look at AIBU and chat because wuite a lot of people with mental health issue also post here.

I do post in AIBU, but often get toasted by the men hating part of the sisterhood.

Searchforme · 09/03/2017 21:19

Guy stop looking for two years old threads Grin

Applebite · 09/03/2017 22:19

Men, yes, of course they can post.

Zombies, no!

Sparklingbrook · 09/03/2017 22:31

.

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