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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

teenage parties

96 replies

goodmumgonebad · 31/10/2015 15:18

AIBU to insist that I first meet any friends that my 17-year-old daughter is going to her first-ever party with tonight? They are friends from her new Sixth Form school we've not met them before. Or, if we are just going to drop her off at the party to meet friends there, AIBU to want to go in and meet the parents and/or party host so we know who she is with? this is new ground for us.

OP posts:
BrendaandEddie · 31/10/2015 17:38

agree mitzy.
I think there should be special pubs/clubs for 16-18 year olds.

cashewnutty · 31/10/2015 17:43

I know from previous parties DD has been to that she and her friends will pre-mix their drinks into the lemonade bottles so they know exactly how strong they are (not very). Then they only drink from those bottles. It seems to work well and they have never come back obviously drunk.

BrendaandEddie · 31/10/2015 17:44

they are probably stoned instead Grin

BackforGood · 31/10/2015 17:53

No keeptrudging - you wouldn't even be at the door. It really is NOT acceptable at all.

Roussette · 31/10/2015 17:55

nerrSnerr I had a bacardi 'incident' too but I was only 16 and have never touched the stuff since! but make up for it with other drink

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 31/10/2015 17:55

Seriously if I insisted on going in to a party and seeking out the parents when my older children were 17 (and one is currently 16) I think they would have dies of embarrassment and never spoken to me again.

Don't do it. it you have concerns see if you can phone or message one of the parents in advance but don;t go marching in there, you'll make her a laughing stock.

MitzyLeFrouf · 31/10/2015 17:55

I'd have shoved my mother in the herbaceous border if she'd attempted to walk me to the front door.

Roussette · 31/10/2015 18:03

Yes Mitzy. I remember going to pick up a DD at an agreed time after a party and sitting in the car waiting and waiting. I rang her to come out. No reply. So I rang the doorbell and I went in. OMG you'd have thought I'd run round the party with no clothes on! She was furious! Tough! And she was never late coming out again, the thought of her mother walking into the party sorted that!

cashewnutty · 31/10/2015 18:05

I also had a Barcardi moment when i was 18. Can hardly even look at the bottle now without getting the dry heaves. Bacardi and coke vomit - i swear i thought i was dying.

MitzyLeFrouf · 31/10/2015 18:05
Grin

The embarrassment that a parent can cause a teen is a wonderful super power!

TalkinPease · 31/10/2015 18:06

cashew
I had one of those Bacardi moments at Uni .....

turningvioletviolet · 31/10/2015 18:08

Mine was with a bottle of Malibu when at uni. Can't even look a Bounty in the face these days.

MitzyLeFrouf · 31/10/2015 18:11

Tequila and I haven't been in speaking terms since I was 19. Even one whiff........Envy

cashewnutty · 31/10/2015 18:16

I don't think we are helping OP here Grin

Roussette · 31/10/2015 18:23

Mine was with a bottle of Malibu when at uni. Can't even look a Bounty in the face these days.

That made me nearly choke on my far too early glass of wine! Grin

NerrSnerr · 31/10/2015 18:25

When he was 16 my brother won a bottle of red wine on a raffle. He had fun scrubbing the landing carpet the next day....

ByTheSea · 31/10/2015 18:43

I am dropping DD1-16 and DD2-13, each with a friend, at parties tonight. I know the friends having the parties but not the parents. I have bought DD1 some alcohol to take but I do not expect DD2 to have alcohol at all. They are all good kids and I just want them to have fun. They would both be mortified if I did what you are thinking.

JoySzasz · 31/10/2015 18:50

I had met any of my son's friends (he is 17)till tonight.
They need a ride, suddenly l've been 'honoured' to meet four of them!
Ds is not really enjoying the whole mixing bit. I'm enjoying it. One if the girls is admiring my wallpaper, and one of the boys has said he isn't hungry as he has just eaten a massive vegetarian pizza!
Don't embarrass your daughter. My Don is still recovering from an incident of his own making. They all need a ride, it is our turn apparently. Grin

Keeptrudging · 31/10/2015 19:15

I wasn't meaning I would walk her to the door (am offended now)! Only IF I happened to be in my car dropping off and the mum opened the door/hovered. Halloween Grin

Sparklingbrook · 31/10/2015 19:27

If that was the case Keep you just need to smile, and wave and drive off quickly. Wink

SplatterMustard · 31/10/2015 19:49

I used to go to a local pub that made it's own cider. I haven't drunk cider since....

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 20:02

I would have said YABU two weeks ago OP until I got a call from the police to say my 17 year old son was out cold on a pavement in a rather rough area. He went on a party bus for a friends 18th. There was no responsible adult on the bus only the driver who was in the cabin at the front (old style bus). Son got off due to feeling sick (obviously v intoxicated) and the bus left. I have never been so scared in my life! I collected him from an A&E Dept. So YADNBU. I still shudder to think what the outcome could have been.

SplatterMustard · 31/10/2015 20:11

Pinot that's scary. Hope he was OK after all that.

turningvioletviolet · 31/10/2015 20:12

pinot I don't really get the point of your story. What blind bit of difference would it have made if you had met your Ds' friends or their parents at the beginning of the evening in this scenario?

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 20:15

It was the worst hour of my life driving to getting to him.

An all night sick bowl vigil ensued with him throwing up every hour or so.

He's fine and hopefully will never ever do it again.