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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bloody hell - I couldn't care less about the sodding mirror

125 replies

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/10/2015 12:11

OK - I'm 37 weeks pregnant, have a 1 and a 2 year old and am just coming to the end of massive building works and am very hormonal
so maybe I am being unreasonable

My DM is lovely and normally we get on very well. She and DF are super helpful and come to visit a lot to help with the DC.

Part of the work being done is a lift extension with en suite and I have asked for her views on various things. Now, whilst I haven't done anything I specifically don't want to do, I have done a lot of things I might not have to make sure that she and DF are comfortable when they come to stay. So there will be a TV up there and we've had an ariel installed so there will be freeview (we had sky). The sink has been moved in the en suite so it has a mirror above it. A ledge has been built under the window at a certain height so that there is space for people to put toilet bags, I got a bigger sink than I probably would have chosen to make sure there is space actually right beside the sink - apparently an absolute necessity for guests. The sink has drawers under it to ensure that guests have storage in the bathroom - another necessity. 70,000 spotlights on dimmers and plugs have been installed to ensure that guests have every type of shade of lighting they could want along with the bedside lights and cZn charge about 15 electrical items each whilst simultaneously blow drying their hair. Fine.

I don't want - as it wouldn't look right given the shape of the room - to put a mirror up on the wall of the bedroom. The bathroom now has a mirrored storage cabinet (large!) to ensure even more bathroom storage for guests. So there is a mirror in there for make up. The wirkd's most efficient extractor fan and a window so condensation shouldn't be a problem and the mirror will be useable to guests for make up. We have a chest of drawers in the bedroom which I want to put a free standing mirror on. There is a double socket right next to it for hair dryers etc. however, DM is now concerned that the chest of drawers might be slightly too high for the mirror to be on and therefore guests won't have a perfect environment to do their hair in. Maybe I need a new chest of drawers? Or to put a mirror on the wall? It can't be over the chest of drawers as that is where the bloody TV is to go. So it would need to be on a random wall but DM has pointed out that there would be no ledge or shelf for hairbrush etc - thus hideously inconveniencing guests who obviously would be far too polite to say anything. Confused

I actually just want to scream and feel a bit tearful about all this. Can't I just have the room how I want it? AIBU? There will be a mirror there.

The kind builder has suggested putting a mirror on the inside of the wardrobe door but I'm sure that it won't be close enough to one of the many plug sockets is no bloody ledge. Obviously I could get the electrician out again but the bloody room has just been decorated and I really could do without him knocking lumps out of the wall to channel in another socket.

Actually, I don't care about the sodding mirror at all. My lovely DH has suggested that we just sleep up there when DM comes to stay then they can have our room which had a mirror of the fireplace and thus a winning combo of shelf and mirror. But of course DM will say no if we suggest that and just be upstairs being horribly inconvenienced.

OP posts:
scallopsrgreat · 30/10/2015 14:31

I'm sorry Gobbolino, this post is going to be no use to you whatsoever Grin.

I laughed out loud at the laminated wifi instructions.

One day you will too Grin.

In the meantime: Flowers Brew Wine in whatever order you want.

Best of luck x

trollkonor · 30/10/2015 14:36

Chuckling to myself about the laminated cards, tell her you'll show her how to get her tablet to remember the wifi for next time. I am liking the idea with cushins with the wifi code on. Everytime a visitor asks for the ode I can chuck one at them.

I like the idea of repeating that you are happy enough with it for now, after all its only a spare room for occasional use, and you now want to relax before the baby. She doesn't have plans about long term stays to help with the baby??

My inlaws looked shocked everytime we mention doing anything to our house they try to talk us out of it. They mean well but really if our fence had blown down, otpr leaks in the roof we are not reckless idiots for fixing them properly. My Mum on the other hand suggests major work costing anything from 10k to 100k. This time it was knocking down our conservatory and building a two storey extension.

Marshy · 30/10/2015 14:56

Your mum is trying very hard to be helpful op.

Can't you find something else less annoying for her to do?

ineedabodytransplant · 30/10/2015 15:53

Actually OP, I think the laminated cards are a great idea. Aslong as the free time allowed is highlighted along with the charges for 24 hour use. No?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/10/2015 16:07

My cousin still talks about the time my parents came to visit about 20 years ago, to "support" her just after her H had walked out on her. She was also facing a disciplinary hearing at work due to some lapses. My DF - who never shows any regard for anyone else's feelings or takes their frame of mind into account - decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to throw an epic strop about the fact there was only a small mirror in the bathroom that he deemed unsuitable for shaving use. Still I suppose it was a distraction

Sorry - I understand that this was a really hard time for your cousin but I'm pissing myself not hard at the moment!

OP posts:
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/10/2015 16:10

marshy - she is cooking loads of stuff to bring down for the freezer as we speak and knitting a teddy for the baby. She really is lovely and I think it's because I love her so much it upset me.

She dies also love doing tapestry stuff so a cross stitch of the wifi code is genius!

I do also have to have bottles of water available (small!) for guests to have beside the bed plus coasters and a box of hankies.

She is currently Beth vexed that one of the bathrooms that was refitted doesn't have space for a bin now!

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 30/10/2015 16:16

She's confusing your home with a hotel!

My mum used to regularly malign our perfectly nice spare room... As it had no storage.... For overnights?? You really need to put your knickers in a drawer??

My mum was totally unable to see that others lived differently and used places differently... She also used to take her own shower mat and teatowels to fully self catered places.... Grin.

I have never, ever needed a shelf when in front of a mirror... Close up work I always use a handheld mirror...

The only thing I like rather than require apart from warmth, cleanliness and a warm welcome is a separate reading light....

That is all...

Kewcumber · 30/10/2015 16:20

this might be an interesting approach

Skippedthelightfandango · 30/10/2015 16:20

How about providing a LOOOONG extension cable in the room? then they can plug the hair dryer in anywhere and reach whatever mirror they want.

munkisocks · 30/10/2015 16:23

Hi how much do you charge for the one room and do I get a chocolate on my pillow and complimentary coffee?

Lol tell her to piss off, it's your house not hers.

ConnieSpry · 30/10/2015 16:25

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/195340473/wifi-sweet-wifi-customisable-cross

Might save her a job.

Kewcumber · 30/10/2015 16:27

Connie could you find one that says "I love you mother but do get a grip"

Marshy · 30/10/2015 16:29

You're just gonna have to tell her to calm down then.

Hopefully her attention will be diverted when the baby arrives and she'll forget about mirrors and bins.

Jux · 30/10/2015 17:23

Please can I come and live in your new room? It sounds perfect as it is. I don't like too many mirrors, so there's no issue there. Pretty please?

Feawen · 30/10/2015 17:38

Mirrored ceiling?

It sounds lovely as it is. I'll come!

Pico2 · 30/10/2015 18:28

I'm amazed that you let her go into your cupboards when she arrives. We have had to train our parents not to 'help' as they used to empty the dishwasher or 'wash up'. I then had to suffer DH for the next week whinging 'who put this away wet?' and 'who put this away dirty?' As if I'd pipe up 'oh, that was me, I always do that for a week after your parents have visited.'

BreakfastAtStephanies · 30/10/2015 19:25

This must be a THING with a certain generation. When I was decorating our new spare room after extending the house my DM warned me to make sure I put a mirror on the wall as she had stayed at my DBs house without one in the room. DM never stays over, she lives in the same town as me.
Still no mirror in there 2 years later. Must be on the to-do list

Narp · 30/10/2015 19:28

Blimey

That's all I have to say about your mum

Blimey

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/10/2015 19:29

connie - I sent the sampler link which DM thought was hilarious but I think also a great idea!

I've also had a good chat with my DSis who pointed out that DM does tend to go a bit loopy around the time grandchildren are born - although this is her 5th so you'd think she would be used to it! DSis also pointed out that her house is a positive hovel in that DM has to cope there with no wardrobe or en suite and only a tiny mirror on the chest of drawers and no TV so she's going to point out to DM how positively luxurious it will be Grin

jux/munk - you're welcome anytime. Please can I have some notice though so that I can fold the hanging edge of the loo roll before your arrival!

OP posts:
LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 30/10/2015 20:40

Do you think your mum is nesting OP? Grin

Hope you've put your feet up now without another even fleeting thought about mirrors. Flowers

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/10/2015 20:56

shodan - DH is squeaking about £400 for a TV Grin

Feet up. Staggered out to M&S today for easy heat up food and now in the bath. DH has the patience of a saint and is now tidying up and reading NICE guidelines about induction (lovely - just like being at work!) as I've had a mental breakdown about that now.

DM has texted to advise that she has bought me a new cling film holder today and that she's going to buy the DC some more shoes when she and DF arrive as apparently they don't have enough Confused. Smile and nod. Smile and nod.

OP posts:
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/10/2015 21:10

Oh yes and what is it about fucking storage? What is it? We've already had that "chat" too that the wardrobe must be entirely free for guests' sole use at all times. Apparently if we used half of it, it would be "confusing" and "off-putting". DM has also apparently bought me an assortment of new hangers for said wardrobe. Because there should be an array suitable for people to hang different garments on.

OP posts:
Bimblywibble · 30/10/2015 21:18

Your DM has gone stark raving mad. Our spare room's cupboard is full of towels and our clothes. The correct number of pairs of shoes for a one and two year old is one. (One each, that is - making them share would slow you down a lot.) I think I love your sister.

ConnieSpry · 30/10/2015 21:21

Gobbolin,

Your mother needs to step away from 4 in a bed Grin

Or send her to our house for a weekend - she'd soon learn what normal guest rooms are like - or indeed "any room we can squeeze you into rooms" (tiny house here)

I know you love her but surely the only response to a wardrobe which has Shock something already hanging in up in it is confusing is "Are you OK Mum - are you really OK?"

All best of luck with the next couple of weeks.