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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bloody hell - I couldn't care less about the sodding mirror

125 replies

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/10/2015 12:11

OK - I'm 37 weeks pregnant, have a 1 and a 2 year old and am just coming to the end of massive building works and am very hormonal
so maybe I am being unreasonable

My DM is lovely and normally we get on very well. She and DF are super helpful and come to visit a lot to help with the DC.

Part of the work being done is a lift extension with en suite and I have asked for her views on various things. Now, whilst I haven't done anything I specifically don't want to do, I have done a lot of things I might not have to make sure that she and DF are comfortable when they come to stay. So there will be a TV up there and we've had an ariel installed so there will be freeview (we had sky). The sink has been moved in the en suite so it has a mirror above it. A ledge has been built under the window at a certain height so that there is space for people to put toilet bags, I got a bigger sink than I probably would have chosen to make sure there is space actually right beside the sink - apparently an absolute necessity for guests. The sink has drawers under it to ensure that guests have storage in the bathroom - another necessity. 70,000 spotlights on dimmers and plugs have been installed to ensure that guests have every type of shade of lighting they could want along with the bedside lights and cZn charge about 15 electrical items each whilst simultaneously blow drying their hair. Fine.

I don't want - as it wouldn't look right given the shape of the room - to put a mirror up on the wall of the bedroom. The bathroom now has a mirrored storage cabinet (large!) to ensure even more bathroom storage for guests. So there is a mirror in there for make up. The wirkd's most efficient extractor fan and a window so condensation shouldn't be a problem and the mirror will be useable to guests for make up. We have a chest of drawers in the bedroom which I want to put a free standing mirror on. There is a double socket right next to it for hair dryers etc. however, DM is now concerned that the chest of drawers might be slightly too high for the mirror to be on and therefore guests won't have a perfect environment to do their hair in. Maybe I need a new chest of drawers? Or to put a mirror on the wall? It can't be over the chest of drawers as that is where the bloody TV is to go. So it would need to be on a random wall but DM has pointed out that there would be no ledge or shelf for hairbrush etc - thus hideously inconveniencing guests who obviously would be far too polite to say anything. Confused

I actually just want to scream and feel a bit tearful about all this. Can't I just have the room how I want it? AIBU? There will be a mirror there.

The kind builder has suggested putting a mirror on the inside of the wardrobe door but I'm sure that it won't be close enough to one of the many plug sockets is no bloody ledge. Obviously I could get the electrician out again but the bloody room has just been decorated and I really could do without him knocking lumps out of the wall to channel in another socket.

Actually, I don't care about the sodding mirror at all. My lovely DH has suggested that we just sleep up there when DM comes to stay then they can have our room which had a mirror of the fireplace and thus a winning combo of shelf and mirror. But of course DM will say no if we suggest that and just be upstairs being horribly inconvenienced.

OP posts:
greenhill · 30/10/2015 13:13

Your mother sounds quite fussy. You sound as if you need some Brew and Cake and a sit down Smile

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/10/2015 13:14

I wonder if Carole Middleton is like this and bags Kate about thank you cards and mirrors etc!

OP posts:
LittlePie14 · 30/10/2015 13:14

Echoing most of the other posts here - she needs to just be grateful for what you've done - I just had the MIL and OH's older cousin (both 60+) sleeping on wooden floorboards covered in dust because they insisted on visiting mid renovations. Didn't complain once god love them! They didn't even have a door on the 'dining room' floor so in walked builders every day at 8am.

How long a period at a time do they even stay for, for it to be such an issue. Tell her to jog on and go relax. With many littlies you have better things to concern yourself with.

(btw your guest room sounds nicer than what my planned loft conversion master bedroom will be)

Viviennemary · 30/10/2015 13:15

Get them an extension lead then they can plug in where convenient. What a fuss. You must have tremendous patience. I would have lost my temper and told them not to bother coming or stay in a hotel.

carabos · 30/10/2015 13:15

Loving this. You are just a fire extinguisher and tcmf away from a B&B Grin.

MyLifeisaboxofwormgears · 30/10/2015 13:18

Surely if she wants free standing mirror then she can bring one with her?
Or you could rent one to her?

BitOutOfPractice · 30/10/2015 13:19

Are you on Trip Advisor OP? Wink

Marshy · 30/10/2015 13:19

Hmm I thought so op.....I can see the 4 in a bed signs.

For goodness sake make sure your mattress is spick and span, and no trace of pubes in the ensure shower.

Oliversmumsarmy · 30/10/2015 13:20

Not sure if I have the layout right but the mirror is on the top of a chest of drawers then couldn't you just open a draw to lay your hairbrush down. Feel free to ignore if I haven't read it right.

Oldraver · 30/10/2015 13:26

I would also remind her its your house not a bloody hotel. Ledge for instance... who fricking has a ledge for hairbrushes in a house.

FWIW...My folke can be a bit like this..they have a downstairs bedroom with en-suite useful for Dad who is disabled and they still bloody well moan, though at least Mum has stopped moaning about sharing a room with my Dad. They are so used to staying in hotels I think theyforget its my home

lavenderhoney · 30/10/2015 13:28

I also needed a sit down after reading you had tiny DC, one on the way, builders etc.

Laminated cards?:) I hope you have a basket of artisan slippers by the door for guests:)

Honestly, go and sit down. And whatever you do don't get a laminator/ mirror you don't want. Just say you think it's ok and want to concentrate on the DC/ being pregnant for now.

LateToTheParty · 30/10/2015 13:31

Is your DM crafty? Perhaps she could be persuaded to cross stitch the wifi details which might take her mind off the mirror!

Bimblywibble · 30/10/2015 13:39

Laminated cards?! We don't even have a tv in our own bedroom, let alone the spare room! This whole thing is ridiculous!

I think you need to just tell her you've decided on all the fixtures and fittings and now feel it's a huge load off your mind. You're now closing the book on the guest room completely and will be concentrating on the baby henceforward.

Then let her next couple of calls go to voicemail while you "catch up on your sleep", what with being heavily pregnant...

GiraffesAndButterflies · 30/10/2015 13:46

"Dyou know what mum, I think it's fine as is now. Thanks so much for all your suggestions though."
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Until she shuts up or you distract her by going into labour.

ConnieSpry · 30/10/2015 13:47

Mirror TV

www.pictureframe.tv

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 30/10/2015 13:53

What brand of luxury chocolates will you lay on the pillow each night after the turn down service?

And what brand of toiletries are you providing?

I trust the mini bar is free?

I think Mil has got a little carried away. Can you perhaps ask her to make nine million baby quilts for the new arrival or something and leave you in peace for a while?

MagickPants · 30/10/2015 13:56

I think your mum sounds slightly insane but very nice. If you just cry at her she'll just stop. Just burst into tears and say "I CAN'T DO ANY MORE THINGS TO THESE ROOMS THEY ARE DONE NOW PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM" and sob gently and she should get the hint.

My mum is retired but fit and well (thank goodness) and has the self awareness to call herself "a terrible miss fix-it". She is very helpful and I don't take it as an insult if she does something like clean the fridge (when I am 41 weeks pregnant and haven't been low enough to see the inside properly for a few months) but - BUT: I cannot BEAR the talking about imaginary problems, round and round, for ever. She is a solution finder and a talker by nature. BUT SOME THINGS JUST AREN'T A PROBLEM. And I don't want to hear about them any more. You keep thinking you've landed and then it's "or, you could cut the arms off an old jumper and fashion them into a sort of draft-excluder which you could then use to lag the -" and it's just please for the love of god stop

Only crying works. Cry on your mum

ConnieSpry · 30/10/2015 13:58

Ah forget that - I see the mirror is not to go where the tv is.

Do exactly what you wanted - free standing mirror on the chest of drawers. And stick one of those things children stand on to reach the basin under the bed if she's too short. Grin

RandomMess · 30/10/2015 14:00

One day your dc will (or you) will end up with that as their room so any guests enjoying it in the meantime need to STFU and make the most of it Wink

Your DM is being barking.

MissMarpleCat · 30/10/2015 14:01

artisan slippers GrinGrin
A 1 & 2 year old and pregnant, builders and a demanding mum, here have BrewCake and a nap Smile

rookiemere · 30/10/2015 14:07

Do you know some people just don't have that filter mechanism to realise when is a good time to stop talking about trivial unimportant things and just move on, your DM may be one of them.

My cousin still talks about the time my parents came to visit about 20 years ago, to "support" her just after her H had walked out on her. She was also facing a disciplinary hearing at work due to some lapses. My DF - who never shows any regard for anyone else's feelings or takes their frame of mind into account - decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to throw an epic strop about the fact there was only a small mirror in the bathroom that he deemed unsuitable for shaving use. Still I suppose it was a distraction.

I must admit I do like a mirror in a bedroom myself, but as a guest I'm delighted just to have a bed, clean bedding and a temperature that is survivable. At SILs it's a manky mattress that we have to make up ourselves with lovely brown pillows.

Just let her next few calls go to answerphone and close down any further discussion on the matter, or just respond with something completely non related.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 30/10/2015 14:09

Oh heavens! Your DM would be very disappointed with my establishment I'm sure. It's either an airbed or sofa here!

Don't forget the tea & coffee making facilities - complete with a choice of tea & a complimentary biscuit assortment Wink. Have you thought about your breakfast menu? Will you be offering the full English or a continental buffet?

Seriously though, at 37 weeks pregnant with a 1 year old, a 2 year old and having work done to the house I don't know how you're staying so calm! Have some Cake.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 30/10/2015 14:12

Oh this is crazy, your DM has got carried away, it sounds absolutely fine as it is. Please don't fret. In fact, next time the subject comes up, say you are considering a nice, tasteful mirror on the ceiling?

cansu · 30/10/2015 14:13

She is being utterly ridiculous. I would smile and nod and ignore. Stop asking her for her input. When she gives it be non committal and do whatever you want. Anyone who is staying for a few days does not need to have the room specifically kitted out for them. My parents stay in my room and take their chances basically. I think you may have inadvertently asked for her opinion too much and she now feels she is having the room made specifically for her as opposed to having a nice guest room for anyone! Start being less accommodating.

hollinhurst84 · 30/10/2015 14:21

Sorry but I'm howling at laminated cards Shock

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