to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

[Sequine]

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

She would do this in a room full of men.

not men!!!! And their uncontrollable sexual urges. Whatever will the men have thought

People have the right to feel uncomfortable about whatever they want - even something as inoffensive as BF in public. People here are getting flamed because they believe that all BF women should change what they do to appease the complianants personal preferences (yet they don't seem to mind low cut tops or bikinis on show). That deserves to be flamed, the same as if a person said gay people shouldn't hold hands because it makes them uncomfortable.

A lady earlier (Kaz?) commented she finds it uncomfortable but realises that's her issue and it's not something she thinks should change. She wasn't flamed once.

What 'other stuff' was she doing with her breasts?

To add there are wierd knobs of all ages. My 80 year old parents would think it very odd that anyone commented on breastfeeding and think it's normal to bf.

My 20s lads would think anyone making negative comments was a knob too. It's not a generational thing it's a dick head thing.

53rd I wanna know too. I hope it involves nipple tassels.

Lobbing them around the place 53rd, I bet.

It's not a generational thing it's a dick head thing

This, exactly ^

This talk of old geezers reminds me of my dad, who was on his way to visit me and saw a mum breastfeeding her baby on the bus. He smiled at her, remembering when his children were that age, and looking forward to seeing his baby grandson again, and then felt really awkward in case the mother thought that he was leering her. I've heard similar stories from younger fathers, too. So actually, lots of men are being made to feel uncomfortable by people who assume that men always think of breasts as sexual objects, and are somehow unable to see a breastfeeding mother without lecherous thoughts (although pendulous buzzwams being lobbed around doesn't sound particularly erotic). Similarly I know plenty of families where there are young babies and teenaged boys, and the teenagers generally seem to consider their baby sibling quite sweet, and find the process of the baby being fed utterly normal and not in any way traumatic. A lot less embarrassing than having their mother talk dropping phrases like "squad goals" and "on fleek" into the conversation, anyway

imwithspud Yep, she really did! I shouldn't have been surprised, she was obsessed with her figure and her boobs before she got pregnant. She had an amazing figure - size 10 with 34E boobs, but boy did she know it. She would go on and on about how big her boobs were. She would constantly accidentally on purpose pop out of her tops. Outrageous flirting with everyone else's DH (I think she actually slept with my ExH, whilst he was still my H). After BF she now has boobs that are like tennis balls in socks and I feel really sorry for her and on no occasion do I have a wry smile to myself

Bloody ridiculous the amount of nastiness on here.
There is nothing wrong with people being embarrassed by boobs or indeed not being embarrassed.
You are not better or worse either way.
Of course it is wrong to tell a woman she should not breastfeed in public but it's ok for a partner to say he doesn't like it if that's how he feels and its ok for his wife to say she disagrees and tell him to remove himself if it bothers him.

What 'other stuff' was she doing with her breasts?

It could well be something as innocent as making a cup of tea while half naked.

Gotta, have you RTFT? People are not saying it is wrong to be embarrassed by boobs (even though they may be puzzled by it). The point repeatedly made is that people who are embarrassed should recognise that it is their problem rather than demanding that women be "discreet". And the OP is not about the simple issue of her partner just saying he doesn't like it, it's about him telling her she should hide her breast away or express and bottle feed, and that it would be fine for a shopkeeper to tell her to leave if she breastfeeds.

There is a touch of generation about it. My mother was 1925 vintage; my DSis was born in '45 and I in '52 and were both ff which was more common then than bf - for one thing in 1945 women were wanted back at work asap!
And when my DSis fed my nephew (born '74) in general company my mother - not in any way shape or form a dickhead - found it embarrassing when I never did, it did not bother me and has not bothered me when others have done it. (DS was ff for unavoidable reasons which I won't go into here).

And yes, I know the difference between boobs being flaunted as sex objects and boobs being used for the purpose for which they are intended!

Slightly o/t but a good place to ask. When DSis was feeding my nephew she once had a curry and had twenty-four hours of filthy nappies and screaming baby - she did not make that mistake again. But would the same happen if a woman whose diet was normally spicy had a bland meal one day instead?

Andrew but you are the 'older generation' they are talking about in this thread.... No offence like , runs for my life

No gotta it's not ok for a man to tell his wife how she should use her body when she's doing nothing indecent. It would be like your OH telling you to only wear long skirts as he's embarrassed that you have your legs out. But on your principle that would be OK?

Lots of newbies on this thread, funny that!

All this talk of 'the elderly' is ridiculous. They are like anyone else and if they have a problem they can remove themselves. I breast fed in front of my parents and ILs - born 1920's. I remember one woman telling me how she breast fed on a London commuter train in 1948 and all the men went behind their newspapers. No one made a fuss.

Andrew see my nan and grandad didn't bat an eyelid at my BF and said it was everywhere when they were parents. I find it's this generation who get their backs up about it. The historical images link upthread is a fascinating read.

Re your last question, some people will have curries and it won't affect their baby at all, even if their diet is generally bland. Every baby is different. My DD was fine with spicy stuff but could poo for England if I ever had baked beans!

I agree Mehitabel. My dad is 70, and like most older and life experienced people is a man of the world. The idea of him crawling away embarrassed from someone feeding their baby .

People like to infantilise older people when they are the ones with the most life experience. It makes no sense. And if they did have a problem like any other adult the problem is theirs.

Fucking hell.

There is nothing weird about breastfeeding.

Why is there always such hyperbole on threads like this?

Is your OH Nigel Farage, OP?

Some of these comments towards posters on here have been out of order.
I have no problem with people bf ( i wouldn't but i have no problem with it and would stick up for friends and family)only place i think is questionable is in a swimming pool and i would feel the same if it were formula feeding.
However if some do not like it then they are entitled to feel how they do.
Pinot hasn't insulted people or even said they have said anything nasty to a bf woman, just that they don't like it, yet some people have been abusive to her.
Being abusive and downright nasty is not going to change anybodys opinions.

I am 'elderly' according to some people on here. We are quite tough and I do get irritated that it is brought into arguments as if we can't be upset! If an elderly person is upset by it they are no different from anyone else- tell them not to look if they have a problem.
I am over 60 yrs and we breast fed anywhere, in front of anyone. It isn't new!

It's sad that women's breasts are seen as primarily for sex and men rather than their actual function.

This thread escalated quickly!

When my grandma first met my son when he was a few days old I was feeding him under a cloth in case it made anyone uncomfortable. She came over and lifted the cloth and had a good luck at him! I no longer felt the need to cover my poor baby's head with anything whilst feeding!

He's now 9mo and still breastfed. If anyone has an issue with me feeding him in public that's their issue. Nobody would expect a ff baby to be fed under a cloth. Bf is no different.

It's really sad that bf mums are made to feel like they should be embarrassed. It's equally as sad that ff parents are made to feel bad about it. As long as a baby is getting fed who cares?!

tobysmum77 I am positively ancient but by definition not as old as my DM who would now be 91. But if she was the odd one out in this respect I am happy to hear it.

Thanks piperchapstick

It may be sad that breasts are viewed as sexual but the fact is, they are sexual characteristics biologically.

They're signs of a mature body that can feed an infant. That is their primary function but that can only occur when a woman has been pregnant and given birth to a child.

So the primary purpose of breasts can only be achieved through sexual intercourse and pregnancy so of course they're viewed as part of a womans sexuality. And due to nerve endings etc, most women do feel sexual pleasure when their breasts are touched by a partner. And before any of the 'BFeeders are weird or pervy' set comment, sexual touching of the breast is completely separate and miles away from the feeling of breast feeding.

And I don't think anyone would say it wasn't sexual assault if a woman was touched on the breast without consent.

I don't give a toss how any woman feeds her child in any circumstance BTW but I do think it's disingenuous when people say, oh its society/page 3 or whatever that has said breasts are sexual.