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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Chuggers- aibu to find it all a bit awkward and embarrassing??

36 replies

guajiraguantanamera · 29/10/2015 17:27

Two men came to my door earlier, trying to raise funds for a well known charity. The men were friendly enough, no issue with their behaviour or anything but I just found the whole thing awkward, especially as I was busy at the time but felt rude to say so.
I find it patronising when these people insist that it's "only x amount a week, you'll hardly miss it!" Well actually, considering that my maternity leave has now finished and we are now a one wage family, yes I think I might miss it actually!
I ended the conversation by saying I would have a look on their website but I felt embarrassed and flustered as though they felt I was lying about not being able to afford it..
But maybe its just me being daft!

OP posts:
Bluecarrot · 29/10/2015 17:30

I just say "I never give money at the door. Thanks. Bye"

I have been a fundraiser (never door to door) and tbh, they prob get told no so often you won't stand out. They have forgotten you already.

SistersOfPercy · 29/10/2015 17:31

Just put up a no cold callers sign. On the off chance they ignore it I'm afraid I just point to the sign and close the door on them.

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 29/10/2015 17:34

If you can't afford it, or don't want to give to that charity, for any reason, just tell them straight. Seriously, as long as you're polite & don't threaten them, it's no problem. You don't need to justify yourself. You could already be donating hundreds per month as far as they know - but if you said that, they'd probably just ask you to add this one to the list.

We don't donate regularly either. But we do give in other ways. Only ways that don't result in them asking us to increase our donations...

Sparklingbrook · 29/10/2015 17:34

I have a sign too. If they ignore it, I open the door, point to it and say 'Is my sign not working?'.

Or a quick peek out of the bedroom window, and if it's anyone with a tabard/lanyard/clipboard, don't answer.

Panadbois · 29/10/2015 17:35

Theybwill have a script to follow so don't get into a conversatikn with them - they will have an answer for everything.

I find them intimidating, patronising with a huge dose of emotional blackmail.

Don't engage, just say, not interested amd close the door, as you would with a cold call.

Panadbois · 29/10/2015 17:37

Oh poo. Typing on my phone. Sorry.

JennaRoss · 29/10/2015 17:39

Chuggers take a chunk of whatever you give IIRC. So I tell them that if I want to donate then I will do so directly rather than wasting my money paying for them to knock on people's doors.

MissBattleaxe · 29/10/2015 17:45

It's nobody's dream job so I try and be polite, but I just stop them and say "Sorry it's a bad time and I already give thanks, " smile sadly and shut the door.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 29/10/2015 17:47

Yep "I never give my bank details out at the door" is my stock phrase.

I also do a fine argument when they say "Don't worry, I'm not selling anything" Erm, if you want me to part with my money then you're selling something.

I'm nice and polite (and I have the no cold callers sign) but I'm not going to be guilted into signing up for stuff just because they're being paid to wear a tabard and knock on doors.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 29/10/2015 17:47

They want you to feel awkward and embarrassed.

That's how they get your bank details their dosh.

Ratarse · 29/10/2015 17:48

It's the Heart Foundation round here on a regular basis. I agree with you entirely.

GruntledOne · 29/10/2015 17:48

NEVER get into a conversation with chuggers, don't bother trying to think up excuses, they've got an answer for virtually every excuse you can think of. Just say "No, thanks" and close the door.

guajiraguantanamera · 29/10/2015 17:53

Raptor that's a good idea about the bank details I never thought of that!

OP posts:
waitingforcalpoltowork · 29/10/2015 18:18

i always say no but i did feel sorry for one guy he had cream cake on his face and no one had told him for about twenty houses neither had his colleagues Grin

Branleuse · 29/10/2015 18:24

just say not interested thanks

Tbh, if they really cared about the charity so much, theyd be volunteering, not doing it for money. I dont give to anyone who knocks at my door, stops me in the street or cold calls me on the phone. It is awkward and makes me feel a bit harrassed, especially in my own home. The ones on the street are easier to just walk past

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 29/10/2015 18:32

Tell them you're only 17. They DAREN'T laugh!

Shout through the door "who is it". It's easier to reject someone if you don't have to look at them!

Chuggery at the door is even worse than in the street!

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 29/10/2015 18:34

I don't like it in the street when there's 3 of them and you have to dodge them in turn. Should really not be allowed. Obstructing the Queen's Passage! (ahem!)

Easiest thing to do in the street is just pretend to be on your mobile.

I hate it when they say "do you have a minute for children dying of cancer" or whatever.

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 29/10/2015 18:39

If you have a sign and they ignore it, please complain! The charities use the lack of complaints to continue this horrible process which does lots of harm in extracting money out of those who cannot really afford it and paying commercial fundraisers.

By claiming the lack of complaints to the self regulator, it means the self regulator gets to claim everything is rosy. Their codes of practice say to respect the signs.

Oysterbabe · 29/10/2015 18:51

I use my spyhole and never open the door to people who look salesy or Jehovahry.

StrictlyMumDancing · 29/10/2015 19:07

I tell them I'm unemployed, that usually shifts them. Though we did have one who insisted I give them DHs bank details. I did tell them there was no way in hell I would ever do that in such an enraged tone he kind of legged it Grin

MaisieDotes · 29/10/2015 19:15

I hate the ones on the street. The way they do that sort of sideways skipping move to get across your path. Although since I've become older I don't care so much about hurting their feelings and I tend to be quite, er, firm with them.

I told one off the other day for asking me twice after I had given my stock "no thanks! I have my own charities" , and I also told him that I was going to be standing at the pedestrian crossing and that he was not to approach me again while I was waiting.

He went all sheepish and "yes miss, sorry miss" on me Grin

julitte · 29/10/2015 19:18

i did this job as a poor student (not true that we dont care about the charities) and i totally understand how you feel and we are used to being politely turned down- no sweat!

ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin · 29/10/2015 20:50

I usually politely decline but if they persist I tell them the very, very long and involved story of the day the chugger told me to f@#! off and made me cry and I then tell them the tale of the day the fake chugger
made off with my elderly neighbours'
bank details and the whole street
turned vigilante. Together, if I'm on a good day, both stories are only slightly shorter than War and Peace and I'm usually still rabbiting away as they are bolting off down the street Grin

insan1tyscartching · 29/10/2015 21:24

I had an embarrassing incident with a chugger the other week. He came to the door at 8pm, I am blind as a bat and thought it was a friend of ds. Ds wasn't home so I told him so and then asked about his family, his plans, his job etc before he finally told me I had mistaken him for someone else and he was in fact wanting to talk about a charity......you've guessed it Sightsavers Grin

Therewasanoldladywho · 29/10/2015 21:51

I had to turn away a probably 8 year old chugger once! I just said, sorry, I don't donate to charity and closed the door (nicely of course, I'm not an ogre!) Was a bit funny though Smile Talk about emotional blackmail!!