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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect neighbours to tell us their adjoining house is on fire?

81 replies

TrumanCapote · 28/10/2015 15:19

Had to stop lurking and join up for this one. Woke up early hours Monday coughing and hearing a screaming child; our house was full of a peculiar dirty smoke smell that I have never smelt before, and there was a fire engine outside and a distraught child all alone saying their kitchen was on fire and it's been put out.

Aibu to think that given how quickly fire can spread that we should have been warned? If they had to call the fire brigade and get their children out then they surely should have knocked? My dogs were sleeping in the adjoining room and my kids were upstairs ffs.

DH thinks iabu and shouldn't say anything to them as they would have been preoccupied savingthemselves and also because they are really rough and he doesn't want the hassle.

The house is rented it's semi detached, the landlord is invisible and the house is an absolute state think broken windows rubbish everywhere, stinks of weed, copious amounts of cats. They don't work and rents in the close are higher than HB. The landlord gives the address as his address on the land registry. Their children are practically feral and often wreak havoc. They didn't even have a fuvking smoke alarm!

OP posts:
LurkingOne · 28/10/2015 15:24

You probably shouldn't say anything, because there is nothing to be gained, chances of another fire, that you are under threat from, are pretty slim.

Plus I think the fire service would have told you if you were genuinely under threat.

Not sure what the comments about the kids being feral have to do with the situation. Maybe they aren't the best neighbours, but not the kids fault.

InTheBox · 28/10/2015 15:24

And your own smoke alarm?

How dare you describe a child as 'feral'.

Did you want them to pop over whilst their house was on fire to warn you to get out?

Bogeyface · 28/10/2015 15:27

Well after getting us all out and calling 999, banging on the neighbours doors would be my next thing so YABU to have expected them to do that. I agree with your DH that saying something now would just be inviting trouble over something that cant be changed. What are you expecting them to say or do?

However, I dont see what it has to do with anything else you wrote. They are clearly not good neighbours with a terribly LL (if there was no fire alarm then the LL will get into to trouble for that).

DamnBamboo · 28/10/2015 15:27

Where were your smoke alarms OP?

Bogeyface · 28/10/2015 15:27

Sorry, YANBU to have expected them to bang on your door...

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 28/10/2015 15:28

YABU, they were in the middle of an emergency, I wouldn't be thinking about anything but saving my family either, the fire brigade were there to assess the situation and didn't knock so you were in no immediate danger.

Your last paragraph has nothing to do with the situation at all.

DH2R · 28/10/2015 15:28

Fire service would have alerted you immediately if they thought there was any danger to your house - even if only slight. They would not have done so if they did not. They would a) not have the time b) not want more spectators c) not want to unnecessarily disturb sleeping families.

(I'm a fire-fighter)

DelphiBlue · 28/10/2015 15:28

What the hell has the fact that they rent and don't work got to do with anything? If you have a smoke alarm surely yours went off? If my house was on fire I'm pretty sure I'd prioritise saving myself and my DC over my neighbours.

DamnBamboo · 28/10/2015 15:30

Don't even answer that.
You clearly didn't have any smoke alarms either.
If you woke up coughing and your house was full of smoke, your alarms would have gone off

MrPorky · 28/10/2015 15:34

I agree with everyone else, but am a bit surprised it's not standard practise to evacuate adjoining houses

Original poster
TrumanCapote · 28/10/2015 15:41

No no definitely not blaming children, bad choice of words meant more the parents let them run wild, should have just wrote parents are reckless. Was trying to give background of household i.e. landlord is terrible, neighbours are a nightmare. The not working bit was because I was going to write how I think they are topping up their rent which is a fire risk but decided not too, should have edited.

Our house was not full of smoke just full of a strange smell that was irritating my throat and eyes, my smoke alarms are working and didn't go off. My worry for some time has has been about their extra curricular activities and the fire risk of this, so on the first occasion there was a fire i was concerned they didn't tell us. This fire was in the kitchen so unrelated but next time...

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 28/10/2015 15:45

If there was sufficient particulates to irriate your throat (which is what the smell would be) and wake you from sleep and it had risen to the upstairs, your alarms should have gone off.

Either you don't have them and are lying, or you do have alarms and they are duff/not working/not fit for purpose. Either way, they need revisiting and this is your responsibility.

Do you actually think in the midst of their house burning down, you would be their first concern?

Bogeyface · 28/10/2015 15:46

So what is their business then? If you believe that the fire started because of illegal activity then you would be perfectly within your rights (and I would say, sensible) to report them to the police.

DH2R If you knew that an illegal activity had caused a fire, do you report it to the police?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 28/10/2015 15:47

Meth lab or heat lamps?

LurkingOne · 28/10/2015 15:48

Good question - please answer dh2r

And thanks for your work!

DamnBamboo · 28/10/2015 15:49

Respect DH2R

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 28/10/2015 15:59

Fabulous. An eccentric new twist on the classic 'snottily slander the neighbours' genre of thread Smile

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 28/10/2015 15:59

I know it's not the question you asked, but isn't the poor state of the house & lack of smoke alarms the LL's responsibility anyway? If windows are broken & the house is in a poor state of repair shouldn't the LL be fixing things?

By saying that the house is rented & the rent is more than HB, you seem to be saying that this family shouldn't be able to live in your fine street. Are you sure your personal opinion of them isn't clouding your judgment on this?

As an actual firefighter has said above, if the fire service didn't see a need to knock on your door then you can't have been in any danger.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 28/10/2015 15:59

Welcome to MN BTW Grin

redredblue · 28/10/2015 16:01

Smoke is deadly
Yanbu

Original poster
TrumanCapote · 28/10/2015 16:02

The child screaming woke me up, my room is above the kitchen. My smoke alarms went off on Sunday with my impeccable cooking but yes the smell was strange/irritating, checked the smoke alarm yesterday and it was okay but will replace tonight.

Thank you very much DH2R it's reassuring.

I know the fire service would have alerted us to anything when necessary it was more my neighbours attitude I was concerned with, I would have warned them .

Heat lamps needs. Probably only going to be small scale, cant see it getting them evicted due to LL therefore reporting them will only bring more hassle.

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 28/10/2015 16:03

I KNEW as soon as I read your OP that you'd have a bunch of people on here taking issue with your description of the house and the children.

OP, YANBU. They sound like wastes of space, and dangerous to boot. Fire was probably caused by an unattended weed joint.

MrsUltra · 28/10/2015 16:03

Un-fecking-believable! (but believe you, OP)
YANNNNNNNNNNNNNNBU

Dawndonnaagain · 28/10/2015 16:08

Their children are practically feral and often wreak havoc. They didn't even have a fuvking smoke alarm!
Nothing more to be said really. Hmm

BertPuttocks · 28/10/2015 16:10

My neighbour's house caught fire a few years ago.

They were in such a panic at the sight of the fire and knowing that their children had obviously had a lucky escape, I don't think there was any more headspace left for thinking about neighbours.

YABU.