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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ain to think that clubbing is only fun if you're attractive?

62 replies

NotALooker · 27/10/2015 22:31

I'm not attractive, my friend is a stunner.

I enjoy going out to eat, going to bars and the like but have to psych myself up for "big nights out"... Whereas she loves them and always suggests we go out to clubs - to her it's not a good night if we haven't gone out.

Aib to think that clubbing is generally a lot funner if you are good-looking?

OP posts:

nameschangerer · 27/10/2015 22:32

No, clubbing is only fun if you like the music they play. Looks have nothing to do with it

tacky · 27/10/2015 22:33

I agree with this. I remember many nights at uni ended with me feeling rather unattractive.

Definitely stick to the pub with friends these days.

ssd · 27/10/2015 22:33

I guess life is more fun if you're good looking.

expatinscotland · 27/10/2015 22:34

Clubbing sucks. I never understood the appeal.

tacky · 27/10/2015 22:35

However I have also been clubbing with people that are gORGEOUS and still don't get much attention. So maybe it is a combination between being good looking and putting out the right signals? you can sleep with me tonight

crumblybiscuits · 27/10/2015 22:36

YABU but I don't go out to be hit on, I go out to go dancing and have fun. Being hit on is a negative.

Original poster

NotALooker · 27/10/2015 22:38

Yes, all good points!

She's not looking to pull but I just feel it's more fun for her, in the knowledge that she looks great and can be self-assured - unlike me, she's not constantly worrying about whether she looks good, who's doing what etc, she's just focused on having a good night and letting go. Whereas I am trying to get drunk to block out the awkwardness of the whole experience: dancing in a room full of strangers to music without any lyrics!

OP posts:

Original poster

NotALooker · 27/10/2015 22:39

Yes crumbly my friend and I don't go out to get hit on, but it happens doesn't it... I kind of just don't get the point... Isn't it essentially a bit of a meat market?

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 27/10/2015 22:39

Dance music makes me die inside.
It's fun if the music is good but even that isn't enough for me now I'm the wrong side of 30.

riverboat1 · 27/10/2015 22:40

I think some people find clubbing really fun, and others don't. Not sure it has much to do with looks, more personality / social characteristics / how much you like music and dancing.

I used to get hit on when I went clubbing and I still hated the whole thing. Clubbing at gay clubscwith gay friends was more fun but still not really my thing.

Do you enjoy dancing and drinking and the music and atmosphere OP? It's not clear from your post if you enjoy all that but your friend makes you feel crap because she gets so much attention, or if you hate the whole thing?

NewNameNotTheSame · 27/10/2015 22:40

Why? Is it only fun if you get attention from people you wouldn't even look twice at sober? YABVU. Clubbing is fun if you enjoy drinking, the music, ruining your shoes splashing in God knows what on the floor and dancing. Looks shouldnt affect your ability to have fun, especially not in a dark club.

AwfulBeryl · 27/10/2015 22:40

I agree with names I used to go out clubbing most weekends, never to the Liquid or Ritzy type clubs though, which really don't appeal to me, I don't think I would like them even if I was a stunner

Scarletforya · 27/10/2015 22:41

I totally agree. Clubbing is for the young and beautiful.

crumblybiscuits · 27/10/2015 22:41

Where else can I go and dance on a light up dance floor to some cheesy tunes though?

If it's not about getting hit on why does it matter if you are less/more attractive?

SaucyJack · 27/10/2015 22:41

YABU. Everything in life is more fun when you embrace the joy in not knowing or caring whether some random you're never gonna see again finds you sexually appealing.

The best nights out out I've had are the ones when I've been dancing like a dick with my belly flobbling everywhere not caring about the presence of anyone but my friends.

But I say this as a happily co-habitting old gimmer.

ouryve · 27/10/2015 22:42

It's only fun if you like dancing around the sweat and puke and don't mind pissed, smelly, leery men grinding their crotch at you.

Mmmmcake123 · 27/10/2015 22:43

I think you could do with trying a different club.

cranberryx · 27/10/2015 22:43

I get where you are coming from as I have been on both sides, before I gained loads of weight and then after.

If you're more attractive you're more likely to have a pleasant experience with the bouncer, coat people, get little things for free - get served at the bar quicker, free shots (rarely) people pay attention, move out the way and don't bump into you, people generally pay you more mind and rather than someone that gets dumped in a corner, it's generally a more positive experience.

I would only go now if I wanted to subconsciously compare myself to a load of slim 20 something's that look made up and ten times better than I feel.

It's my self esteem though that is colouring the experience though, not necessarily the club.

Original poster

NotALooker · 27/10/2015 22:47

Thanks all. Ironically I do enjoy the whole experience - the drinking, the atmosphere, the music - and with other friends do actually have a really chilled, nice time (depending on the club).

My friend who I write about here is absolutely lovely but when we go out together I just feel instantly compared. And definitely like I'm losing the competition. She's supermodel tall, tanned tanned legs and she'll wear tiny skirts with no tights and tight tops, looks incredible. I'll wear more covered-up things and just feel so ugly in comparison.

It's nothing personal to do with her but I feel a lot more chilled and happy when I'm not "dressing up"...

OP posts:

lorelei9 · 27/10/2015 22:48

I was never stunning and I loved clubbing. I did love the music though and was very chatty.

bluebolt · 27/10/2015 22:49

I prefer to go in a group, there is nothing worse than being with someone who is constantly approached by men even if they are not "on the pull", it just feels awkward.

Original poster

NotALooker · 27/10/2015 22:49

I know aibu for making it into a competition in the first place but I just don't get it It just deflates me, not because she looks great (because that's by the by ) but just because I feel like I can't measure up.

OP posts:

lorelei9 · 27/10/2015 22:50

X posted
Yes, it's hard having that friend...

HPsauciness · 27/10/2015 22:51

I enjoyed clubbing a lot, and definitely wanted to get hit on! I didn't go to places with horrible men though, but places with attractive guys to increase the chances:) Only on MN would everyone claim to go out clubbing but hope that no-one noticed they were attractive in any way or hit on them.

trixymalixy · 27/10/2015 22:51

I go clubbing to dance, not to be chatted up.

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