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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ain to think that clubbing is only fun if you're attractive?

62 replies

NotALooker · 27/10/2015 22:31

I'm not attractive, my friend is a stunner.

I enjoy going out to eat, going to bars and the like but have to psych myself up for "big nights out"... Whereas she loves them and always suggests we go out to clubs - to her it's not a good night if we haven't gone out.

Aib to think that clubbing is generally a lot funner if you are good-looking?

OP posts:

Abidewithme3 · 27/10/2015 23:33

And to add re attractive! Hot as fuck me.

tabulahrasa · 27/10/2015 23:34

I love clubbing and I'm definitely not gorgeous, I like dancing and music and just mucking about with my friends...which makes me sound about 14, lol. (I'm not, I'm closer to 40)

It's never really occurred to me to worry at all whether people are looking at me or paying attention to me tbh.

Abidewithme3 · 27/10/2015 23:36

Ah op you sound lovely from
Your posts and trust me that's attractive.

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 27/10/2015 23:40

That's the spirit NotA At the end of the day, you're going out to see/talk to/dance with your friends; who gives a damn about other people?

ohtheholidays · 27/10/2015 23:41

YABU,I went to clubs with my friends and have been with DH since we've been together because I love to dance not because I want to get hit on.

When I was single I was single by choice I didn't want to get hit on and I hated how many random men think if your in a night club it's okay for them to touch you and that everyone there must be on the pull,not all of us were.I'd get hit on even whilst very obviously with my DH.

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2015 23:53

You sound like you have low self esteem OP

Some of the best nights out I've ever had, involved laughing with mates until we've cried.

All of those mates look different to each other. Some very attractive, some not so attractive and some just 'plain looking' for want of a better way to put it.

I haven't been clubbing for about 14yrs, yet when I think back, those are the only nights I'll never forget.

Fun nights out are about so much more than looks.

SolidGoldBrass · 27/10/2015 23:55

I always much preferred rock/goth/indie/fetish clubs because I have always fucking hated disco/dance/rave music. Looking back, the music was the key factor for me but it was also true that non-mainstream clubs were always just nicer - the few occasions when I let acquaintances persuade me to go to some sort of generic club with them (even a non-specialist night at a venue I usually liked) I would find far more rude or creepy or all-round obnoxious people there.

Having said that, OP, I do know what you mean. I had a friend who was very, very pretty - she did actually do some modelling. Going out on the town with her was sometimes a miserable experience - mostly because when she and I went out, we often wanted to hang out with each other but not only would men continually come and pester her, they would also be rude to me (though this was more in pubs than when we got into the rock clubs we preferred) - 'Is your fat friend jealous of you or does she fancy you herself' was said at least once, and I used to find myself in the default role of nasty/bodyguard/'cockblocker' ie having to get rid of men neither of us wanted to interact with...

Senpai · 27/10/2015 23:57

Depends on what you're going to the clubs for. To just fool around, dance with friends, and flirt a bit or pick up a one night stand, then I'm sure it's more fun for good looking people who are confident. But... Confidence can turn a 6 into and 8 or a 7 into a 10, iykwim.

You don't need to be magazine perfect to be attractive. I look nothing like magazine girls but when I was younger and dating I had no problem finding guys to dance with. Nothing came of it with any of them, but it was fun because dancing with attractive strangers is the entire point of going to clubs. Your problem is that you have a narrow view of attractiveness that you're slapping on yourself.

If you still aren't convinced, remember that low lighting, and booze make everyone look attractive. So go out and have some fun.

Indole · 28/10/2015 00:13

I hate clubbing. I am pretty attractive by most people's standards but quite honestly, I'd rather have a nice meal somewhere. I have never really 'got' the whole clubbing thing. It's loud. There's nowhere comfortable to sit down. The music is shite. I am quite old, though I didn't really like the club thing much even when I was young.

WilburIsSomePig · 28/10/2015 00:30

Abidewithme3 I agree, the OP sounds really lovely.

ReginaBlitz · 28/10/2015 00:50

Yes! You can queue jump, get free drinks ooh those were the days. I would never have enjoyed clubbing if I had been ugly sorry but it's true!

Garlick · 28/10/2015 01:11

I'm going to start being less self-conscious, you know

YAY!!!

Cataria is spot on.

Fwiw, I stopped going to clubs on my own at the age of 51, because I got too ill for dancing. Otherwise, I'd still be that aged clubber who everybody thinks is kind of sweet but a little odd.

I love dancing. I quite like chatting & stuff, too, but only if the person's got something interesting or funny to say. I probably have pulled in a club now and again, but can't remember any such. I always batted off the lechy types, and always had backup from staff if needed. I liked huge, anonymous clubs with huge floors, and small ones where I knew the people. And gigs.

The only thing that matters is to do it for yourself :)

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