to find DD's friends so bloody RUDE!

[snottagecheese]

DD is 6, nearly 7. She can be a right pain the arse and really rude to me /DH when she's in a strop, but it's not her default mood, and I'm about 99% certain that she wouldn't dream of speaking to her friends' parents the way some of them speak to me.

Examples: the friend we had over for dinner this evening - I asked them what they'd like to drink, DD said 'Milk, please' (or maybe just 'Milk' - I can't remember, but no biggie); her friend (I thought) didn't reply, so I said 'X, what would you like?' His reply: 'MILK, I said!' This pissed me off, so I said 'Um, please?' 'Please' says he, virtually rolling his eyes. Then there was the friend who said she wanted something to eat, dragged a chair over to the kitchen cupboards, climbed up and started rummaging through the shelves.

Another time we'd come home with a friend in tow; it was getting late for dinner so I was running around turning on the oven, getting stuff out of the fridge, etc and DD and her friend wanted me to unlock the back door so they could go into the garden. I said 'Hang on, I just need to get these things out so I can make dinner' - 'No, you don't NEED to do that, you NEED to let us outside, right now,' DD's friend told me. Then there was another that I especially made ratatouille for (yes, I know, but her mum swore it was her favourite food EVER and I had the time so thought why not) - she took one mouthful and said 'Yuk, that is disgusting', and spat it out - actually not even spat, just kind of let it dribble out of her mouth. Another time, this same girl didn't want to eat her dinner - not any part of it, and it was all v innocuous stuff, so I suggested she just try some, at which point she burst into tears and started wailing 'I don't like it, it's horrible, I won't eat it, yuk' etc.

I mean, I'm sorry, but is this kind of thing normal??? DD has other friends who don't talk/behave like spoilt brats, but to be honest they're in the minority. The parents of these kids are lovely, too - polite, considerate, socialised - so WTF is going on?!

I have had this issue but learned to grit my teeth and long for them to go home. The problem usually disappears as rude children tend to self-select as your own child realises they are not good company.

Mine are now 12, 16 and 18 and we are only left with one 12 yr old that makes me breath deeply and mutter under my breath, and as I haven't see him for about 6m I think the friendhsip may be dying a death. The others are all lovely. I often have a houseful of slightly drunk 18/19 year old who are all unfailingly agreeable.

Most of my kids' friends are lovely, well behaved and its easier to have them here playing with my kids and keeping them entertained than it is just having my own 3 in the house - one or two have had their moments but certainly I've never had any as bad as snott, I'm always shocked by the terrible behaviour on playdates threads when people say its most visiting children (rather than one specific exception). Must vary by area I guess, or certain children somehow attract monster friends!

That said now my youngest is starting to come into his own with playdates (not that we call them that) I am noticing that his friends seem naughtier and more demanding and defiant than DC1 & 2's friends are now and than they were at his age and have caught myself commenting to others on the fact... I don't know whether children are changing, whether our local demographic is changing (and the naughty ones are actually the very articulate, well dressed and groomed ones who initially seem mature for their age because they chat away so nicely to me in the car home... but just seem to expect everything their way - the ones having a screaming tantrum and kicking their parent because they want to take half DC3's toys home with them are the ones whose parents are saying "but sweetie you already have 4 of those" not some kind of urchins). Perhaps I'm just getting old - there is only 5.5 years from my DC1 to DC3 so what is normal for 4-5 year old kids can't have really morphed that much in that time!