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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed about the attitude towards boys

174 replies

SplatterMustard · 27/10/2015 12:37

Just that really, the assumption that if boys don't like reading or writing then they are being a typical boy. One of the teacher's at DS's school was talking about boys (not mine) and said 'what do you expect, he's a boy?' I've heard comments like that time and time again.

When did it become OK to be so down on boys?

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 27/10/2015 20:13
BertrandRussell · 27/10/2015 20:14

It worked! Grin

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 27/10/2015 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HubertsBirthdayStick · 27/10/2015 20:20

That's cool, you can worry about boys in english and ill worry about rape and FGM.
Sorted Grin
It takes all sorts to deal woth, all sorts

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 27/10/2015 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IndridCold · 27/10/2015 20:25

Yes, I agree there is a very negative attitude towards boys and I think that this is giving rise to a lot of things, which are not going to be obvious for many years, but which in the future are going to make us up sit up and think - what were we thinking?

Someone has already mentioned the growing gap between girls and boys in higher education, which is very worrying. Even more alarming is the difference in suicide rates, it's nearly four times higher amongst men than women in the UK.

Just because there is a majority of middle-aged men in high profile positions at the moment, that doesn't make it alright to compensate for that by having such a down on boys now.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 27/10/2015 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HubertsBirthdayStick · 27/10/2015 20:30

I dont know anything about you.
All i know is, i do see the things i states as bigger issues.

I may yes, only have the capacity to worry about those things.

That last sentence was a clear passive aggressive poke.

I just wanted to be clear i dont have the tools to do it all Sad

If you need any help with any campaigns you do, or anything to educate the send me a PM.

Iggi999 · 27/10/2015 20:30

I don't see that men being successful means that my little boy is just fine whether he learns to enjoy reading or not/is told what clothes to like/isn't supposed to express his emotions etc. The world's definition of success is not mine.

Addressing male gender stereotyping doesn't mean going ah diddums, do the men need yet another advantage? It means liberating boys/girls/men/women to be what they want to be, and relate to each other in new ways.

BertrandRussell · 27/10/2015 20:31

I think my problem is that whenever there's a thread about the way gender stereotypes are damaging to girls, it's really hard to get it taken seriously- even when you point out how damaging to boys it is as well.

I'd love to talk about both- but it never seems to happen.

HubertsBirthdayStick · 27/10/2015 20:33

And fact is, i will say, i am infertile so the education system for under 16's wont ever be a factor in my life.

So i make this clear now, i yes, CLEARLY wont wver be able to think about it as i will never experience coaching a boy, or a girl, through that process.

Micah · 27/10/2015 20:33

Saying girls and boys learn differently, girls sit still, boys fidget etc is still stereotyping.

Any stereotyping img with disadvantage someone. So you re-design your classroom to make learning optimal for boys and girls. But what about the boy who loves to read and concentrates well- do you put him with the girls, or leave him with the boys learning "boy style", which doesn't suit him.

I have a non typical girl. Highly energetic, slow at reading and literacy, above average at maths. Fortunately she has teachers that teach her as an individual, and don't expect her to like imaginary play, and sit and colour for long periods.

Stereotyping is harmful because it will always disadvantage someone, even if you think you're catering to the disadvantages..

HopefulAnxiety · 27/10/2015 20:33

Girls being seen as naturally bad at maths certainly helped hide my real SEN regarding maths, which affect my daily life. I can see that it would help hide dyslexia/ADHD/dyspraxia etc because boys are 'supposed' to be bad at literacy and are 'supposed' to be 'boisterous' and 'clumsy'.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 27/10/2015 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clare1971 · 27/10/2015 20:36

LittleFrankenFooFoo love 'A penis is no excuse'. Can think of so many occasions when this phrase would come in handy. Can we have T shirts with this printed on? Oh dear, now guilty of trivialising quite serious thread. Blush

Florriesma · 27/10/2015 20:43

As far as I can tell gender stereotyping is a double whammy for girls which is why we need to be concerned about the gender stereotyping of boys.
Aside from girls being a signed the pink princess role they also suffer from the over macho role that is assigned to boys.

As far as I'm concerned we should be promoting equality for both -including behavioural expectations. Boys can and should be expected to sit nicely the same as girls should be expected to be able to get muddy and boisterous for example.

If the current generation don't rebel against the appalling gender stereotypING then I worry we will end up women being even more pigeon holed into the caring role whilst men are expected to take on some hyper macho role. If they don't take up the caring role more then there will be less equality between the sexes than there is now. Unilad culture anyone?

slightlyglitterpaned · 27/10/2015 20:44

It's funny that 25 years ago the shitty male science teacher in my school reckoned that the pendulum had swung too far, easy for girls now, they're taking over, blah blah blah bollocks.

Quarter of a century later and mysteriously, having a few tiny concessions to huge inbuilt systemic disadvantages (like shitty misogynist science teachers) hasn't stopped women leaking out of the STEM pipeline in droves, and he's still a shitty teacher at the same school, and still widely disliked by his pupils.

HubertsBirthdayStick · 27/10/2015 20:47

Wink coolio

pinotblush · 27/10/2015 20:49

No but my DS was never interested in English or writing an essay in anything. Two lines explaining something was, for him, enough.

However, he's due to do a Math degree next year. He also goes to boxing training. He also has a very logical/analytical mind.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 27/10/2015 20:51

One interesting aspect of the 'boys and books' thing is the very young age at which boys start to only want books about male protagonists, preferably written by men. That has got to be hugely disadvantaging and I don't see how it can be anything but nurture. Which in itself is worrying.

CrapBag · 27/10/2015 20:52

I've been very lucky not hear any of this. DS is hugely into reading and is the top one in his class, no one has commented in a negative way and I didn't even realise it wasn't 'supposed to be a boy thing'. He was so excited today in the library when the 2 books we had ordered were finally in. DD has only started school recently but at nursery the manager said maths was going to be her thing, she has always liked numbers. Didn't occur to me that this was 'a boy thing' too. I'm glad I haven't heard it, it would have pissed me off no end. Guess there is plenty of time though!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/10/2015 20:57

Surely we want an educational system that advantages everyone, regardless of gender? Wouldn't that be good for all our children?

I want my children's children to grow up in a world where no-one stereotypes anyone, and where everyone gets the best opportunity and support to make the best of their talents and gifts - and no job or role is gendered.

I also think that stereotyping of boys disadvantages girls too - if we accept it is OK to stereotype boys, surely it becomes that much harder to argue why stereotyping girls is wrong?

CrapBag · 27/10/2015 20:58

libraries, not necessarily. I let DS lead completely in what he reads. I've never even thought about who the author is or what sex the protagonist is. Thinking about it, he loves Horrid Henry, Diary of Wimpy Kid, Skylanders and is starting to get in to Roald Dahl. You could argue that he fits what you posted but that's not the direction we have pointed him in, that's what he enjoys reading. I think authors know how to appeal to their target audience and it works. Oh he is also enjoying me reading Harry Potter to him. At least 2 lots of these series actually have female authors, but I don't think DS has ever thought about it at all.

feckitall · 27/10/2015 21:00

My DC are 27, 26 and 23...The 2 eldest were avid readers and still are...the youngest has no interest in reading at all....the 2 older are male..youngest female..
DS1 went from a state primary to a boys indie prep...suddenly reading/learning was admired, encouraged and 'cool'..
DS2 was viewed as a geek for his interest in books and music until he was 12 and went to an indie too.

BertrandRussell · 27/10/2015 21:01

"and the phrase "menz" is just one reason I avoid the fwr topic here, it's just so patronising."

i didn't see anyone using it on this thread- did I miss it?