to be annoyed about the attitude towards boys

[SplatterMustard]

Just that really, the assumption that if boys don't like reading or writing then they are being a typical boy. One of the teacher's at DS's school was talking about boys (not mine) and said 'what do you expect, he's a boy?' I've heard comments like that time and time again.

When did it become OK to be so down on boys?

[MascaraAndConverse]

I HATE the constant negativity about boys.
My DS1 is 4.7 didn't really like writing when he was at Nursery. That was nothing to do with his gender! Now that he's in Reception he sits there for ages writing letters/words/numbers/names of people/draws pictures/colours. He's also doing really well with his reading. Has he suddenly morphed in to a girl because he likes reading and writing? NO!

DS2 is 2.7 and has a speech delay. It wouldn't surprise me if someone comes along and says "Typical boy being lazy". One of the mums at ds1's school said her daughter had a speech delay at the same age!

[LisbethSalandersLaptop]

Also the whole ethos of British primary schools is feminised isnt it?
They are like little matriarchal societies where the boys are second class citizens..:) (dons hard hat)

[BertrandRussell]

"Also the whole ethos of British primary schools is feminised isnt it?
They are like little matriarchal societies where the boys are second class citizens..smile (dons hard hat)"

Gosh, really? Actually- before I answer, are you being serious or ironic?

[LisbethSalandersLaptop]

• honestly Bertrand -? A bit of both.

[AnonymousBird]

Boys are bloody fab, so are girls, they are all children, and all children are different. Every individual needs to be treated as such, whatever their strengths and weaknesses and encouraged to do their very best.

I hate stereotyping. My DS (11) can be "a boy" as it were, plays a mean game of rugby and loves to get muddy, but is also artistic, musical and excels at English at school. He is proud of those traits, as am I and they all count towards him being a rounded human being. If anyone even tried to suggest that anything he does isn't typically boyish or to discourage him from his softer side, then they wouldn't be see in the ladylike side of me ! ha ha.

[badtime]

I think Lisbeth might be thinking about the gender imbalance in primary school teaching, which is in itself a result of gender stereotyping (women dealing with small children, and the idea that a man who wanted to teach the early years might be, at best, a bit strange).

[LisbethSalandersLaptop]

yes that is part of it badtime.

[Out2pasture]

there are different learning styles (visual, tactile, auditory) that often are attributed to specific genders.

[DotForShort]

YANBU. Gender stereotypes are harmful to both boys and girls. It infuriates me to see little boys being given the message that they must be emotionally tough and physically rough, while girls are told they must be passive and dependent. Obviously, many of these cultural messages are not voiced directly but are implicit in the ways people respond to and interact with children.

[SplatterMustard]

I have a few friends who are teachers, my son hates reading but he has to read before he is allowed any screen time. They say it's him being a typical boy, I say that's unacceptable and that he has to read, if he won't do it voluntarily then he will be made to read. He sees me reading, our house is full of books and he sees his older brother and sister reading and was read to a lot when he is little.
I refuse to accept the stereotype of a boy as not liking reading, when mine is made to read he enjoys it - he chooses what he is going to read. Being a boy is no excuse, he will read.

[HubertsBirthdayStick]

My 9 year old cousin gets given make up etc and gets told its for girls.
Gets emotional - thats girly.

Shouldn't these threads address both?

Or are we saying the world is more negative about boys?
Really?

[May09Bump]

I got really peeved off in infants - my son said pink is for girls and I hate frozen. He got told off for that comment - of course he is wrong I admit. Yet when girls in his class said football and blue is just for boys, they got supportive comments like why don't you try football etc.

I do think there are gender differences at the school where I help out - the boys fidget more and it effects concentration. Some Australian schools have accepted this and introduced standing desks with some success. If we have the room - I ask the guided readers to do a few touch your toes before we start, it helps a bit.

I think it is very down on boys, and a bit too much lets encourage the girls. I am all for equality, but think it has swung the opposite way and all this bolstering girls ego will leave them without the skills to fight their own corner in the workplace.

You can see it coming through some HR research - women are less aggressive in the workplace when asking for payrises. HR implement a policy for managers to be more receptive to there needs, and to prompt them to apply (only females). FFS - no, just educate all sexes to work hard and push for what you want.

[bumbleymummy]

May I was just going to mention stand up desks! I think they look like a great idea for schools. Would def help DS!

[Senpai]

I'm really glad we had a girl, considering the current trends.

We have a problem with that in the US. There's now more girls than boys going to college. Girls are generally doing better because we've catered our classrooms to them. Ironically, men are still outnumbering women in certain fields, but with this trend it's going to switch in the next 20 years. We're on the verge of the pendulum swinging back the other way here. Not a bad thing in and of itself. In newer tech fields it's a pretty even mix, which is awesome! I hope we have a much more mixed workforce in the future in terms of gender and race.

The fact that boys are now being pushed to the side is no better a situation than when the girls were. We'll be back to the same boat except the places will be switched.

[VashtaNerada]

Good schools tailor their learning to a range of learning styles. Not so good schools try to generalise by gender and tailor their learning that way. Any differences seen between female and male learning styles are a) neglibile b) obviously don't apply to all children, and c) influenced by gender stereotyping.

[BertrandRussell]

"The fact that boys are now being pushed to the side is no better a situation than when the girls were. We'll be back to the same boat except the places will be switched. angry"

Are they? I can't say I've noticed!

[Senpai]

Are they? I can't say I've noticed!

Classrooms are tailored to girls who naturally sit still and play calmer than boys and I don't care about anyone's special snowflake hyper girl, it's a generally proven statement. It fits their learning style better.

Studies have already been done that boys are falling behind and that girls are consistently out performing them. In the next 20 years, yes, we will have problems with boys finding equal footing with girls if this continues and we don't start catering to both genders.

[VashtaNerada]

Senpai you're not seriously suggesting that not only is the patriarchy about to be dismantled in the imminent future but it will also be replaced by a matriarchy that disadvantages boys?? I think we're a very long way from that! Boys will continue to experience significant privilege over girls for a long time yet unfortunately.

[BertrandRussell]

Don't get me wrong- I think there is a ridiculous amount of gender stereotyping applied to both boys and girls. But it does seem that when it's boys we're talking about, it's serious and something must be done. When it's girls it's all "oh, girls are just naturally drawn to the pink and glittery- that's not going to stop them being scientists and mathematicians. Don't be so ridiculous!"

[Tapirs]

MrsDV I'm a peripatetic teacher.

I hear it all the time in every different type of school I visit.

I've also had it said to me by my own DC's teachers. I've had remarks about my older DSs that they weren't typical boys because they weren't sporty/boisterous and liked to read (to the point of needing to have books confiscated from them in lessons). In my younger DS's school it was somehow ok that he didn't enjoy reading because, after all, he was a 'typical boy'.

So these people saying these things to you all are, in fact, teachers. The comments of other parents washed over my head (with the fleeting internal 'Shit for brains' comment ) but when it comes to teaching staff peddling this crap, I do despair.
Sigh.

[BertrandRussell]

"Classrooms are tailored to girls who naturally sit still and play calmer than boys"

Really? Are you sure that's not just more stereotyping?

[Senpai]

I believe my timeline was 20 years is when it will start being noticeable. That's not exactly imminent and entry level jobs aren't exactly "taking over" anything. Its simply a noticeable trend, and when it comes to schools, yes boys are getting more and more disadvantaged which is good for no one. But nice try on trying to twist my words to "Oh, poor menz".

[BertrandRussell]

And actually, there has, historically, been much more sitting still and learning in schools than there is now, and it hasn't noticeably held men back.............