to be annoyed about the attitude towards boys

[SplatterMustard]

Just that really, the assumption that if boys don't like reading or writing then they are being a typical boy. One of the teacher's at DS's school was talking about boys (not mine) and said 'what do you expect, he's a boy?' I've heard comments like that time and time again.

When did it become OK to be so down on boys?

[BertrandRussell]

So it's not a gender issue- it's a state/private issue. With a bit of luck this might become the ultimate composite thread!

[LibrariesGaveUsP0wer]

Crap bag - the thing is though, that it's a lot more complex than what you personally do.

Children are bombarded with messages about what their interests should be. Books conform frequently.

Boys are taught, subtly but continuously, that female is less worthy of their attention. That's how Joanne ended up JK!!

Boys are also routinely seeing a world where male is the default assumption. They see tv programmes, books, etc where male is disproportionate. From the extreme of the Smurfs to ITNG. Couldn't it be true (Given what we know about adult male behaviour around female authors and characters ) that that's affecting them?

[BertrandRussell]

Sorry, giraffe- I honestly don't understand that post at all!

[BertrandRussell]

Still a bit baffled. Oh well, I must just be thick!

[bumbleymummy]

Am I the only one who wishes we could discuss problems for boys without people taking over and trying to tell us how much worse it is for girls?

[Fannyfannakerpants]

No one should be made to fit a stereotype. And is very dangerous to make an assumption on any one child on a multitude of things, gender being one. But boys and girls are different. They develop in different ways, to different time scales. Boys tends to develop gross motor skills first and then fine motor skills which is why they can be 'fidgety' and more active and girls tend to develop fine motor skills first. So it does seen that at the age of 5, our school system looks like it is mainly set up for girls. This does not excuse dismissing bad behaviour or a lack of passion for learning but may give reasons for where it comes from and, as adults, a way to tackle it.
I honestly think that we are going to do all children a disservice by treating them all the same and dismissing things like gender. And I also think that a lot of this discussion would be mute if we allowed children to just be children and develop at their own rate in a way that suits them. And the sad fact is that this is what we are far,far away from.

[Florriesma]

No bumbles I wish we could too. It would address some of the problems for girls too. I'm not interested in one sec being dominant over the other.
I have 3 ds and don't want them pigeonholed into the media's vision of masculinity.

[ChunkyPickle]

I think the problem I see is that they don't really see it as a problem as soon as I'd like (DS is a good reader, but his writing is terrible) - because he's a boy.

I don't think gender should come into it at all - there are boys in his class that have excellent handwriting, and girls who are out there tearing around the playground at break because they need to burn of energy - instead of any kind of stereotyping, treat them as individuals please.

[LibrariesGaveUsP0wer]

fanny - I thought all children developed gross skills first. Hence all those exercises like massive circles given to children struggling with fine motor?

[LibrariesGaveUsP0wer]

Regardless of your ideas about behaviour at a population size, where a teacher has a sample size of 30 there is going to be so much deviation from that average distribution as to render it actively unhelpful. Small samples don't accurately follow populations.

[WotNoLoobrush]

Spot on Indrid

[DadWasHere]

I dont like it at all when young boys have the 'he is such a little man' 'my little man' trip laid on them.

[katemiddletonsothermum]

untilTheCows - My DS hated reading. In fact, he couldn't read at the start of Year 2. It was painful to hear him struggle. The school dismissed it throughout Reception, Year 1 and labelled him as a high performing dyslexic / late developer / boys read later than girls. Finally I lost patience and sent him to a private tutor who sorted him out within 10 weeks and the boy hasn't put a book down since. He's now 8 with a reading age of 11.5.

[katemiddletonsothermum]

Oh, Bertrand - this was a private school. We moved him.

[ouryve]

I've only read through to about 9pm, but some people are missing a serious point.

A lot of "typical" boy and girl behaviour is socialisation from an early age. Both of my boys have ASD and are pretty impervious to external influences - one even has ADHD which combines with some serious sensory processing difficulties to make it genuinely difficult to sit still. There is nothing stereotypical "boy" about either of them (though DS1 is of the opinion that girls tend to make too much fuss about everything). Their interests are what would be construed by many as "male" but with DS2, it becomes clear that he likes things that he can group and count and that includes birds and butterflies and my kitchen utensils. Buses, trains and lego are just another thing he can do the same with. DS1 ho is more socially aware gets annoyed with his brother doing anything he perceives as "girly" but, then again, he takes the same attitude with me.

Anyhow, the serious point that some people are missing is, the cultural acceptance of boys being disengaged, fidgety and boorish is as important as any other issue highlighted by feminism because those boys being "all boy" turn into men who think they are untouchable and that women's opinions don't matter. If their mothers have a mindset of it being normal behaviour and there being nothing that needs to be done about it, then they hold no authority when "all boy" behaviour grows up into unrestrained testosterone fuelled dickhead. It's the other side of the same coin that depicts women as only any good at looking decorative apart from when they're serving their man in some way.

[katienana]

This is a really interesting thread. I've just finished writing a novel about a dystopian society where women have taken control and men have been almost wiped out! I was inspired to write it after reading a lot about gender bias towards girls after my son was born.
I want an education system that helps every child fulfil their potential the problem is lack of resource. I would imagine boys in private do a bit better because it's single sex and the teaching style is more likely to suit their learning style. I always learnt by reading and working things out by myself so the lack of resource in my state education worked OK for me!

[BertrandRussell]

"I would imagine boys in private do a bit better because it's single sex and the teaching style is more likely to suit their learning style."

But private schools are much more likely to have the traditional "sitting in rows being taught" style that seems to be generally accepted as bad for boys.....

It's complicated.

[Goldmandra]

I let DS lead completely in what he reads. I've never even thought about who the author is or what sex the protagonist is.

Maybe you don't but it does happen, clearly quite often. Wasn't this the reason that J K Rowling was advised to use her initials when publishing Harry Potter?

[BertrandRussell]

Men and boys do not read books that are written by women or which have female protagonists. Generally. Check the books your male partners and children are reading.