Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

God-bothering at work

456 replies

WhereToSheNow · 25/10/2015 15:40

New MD hired his buddy/neighbour 6 months ago for a few hours a week to act as a Management Consultant.

The Management Consultant, who we call "Pokey" (because he keeps jabbing us in the arm) has some sort of official capacity within the Baptist Church, and his website is all about the application of his faith within business.

I didn't have a problem with that, as he hadn't mentioned religion.... until last week.

He attended a "World Leadership Course" and emailed us his notes, with several quotes about God and Jesus, telling us to read them and "feel free to ask any questions". In a meeting the following day, he asked us what we thought of his email.

I told him that I don't want to be included in emails that reference any religion/god, at which point he became very defensive.

Later that day I received another email where he said that he was sorry if the contents of his previous email had offended me, but that he hoped I would gain some insight that would assist me in my professional or personal life.

AIBU to think that my work should a) be a secular space and b) my personal life is none of his business!

OP posts:
Lweji · 25/10/2015 18:33

As loveandhate professes to be a Christian I would go for pity.

I'd have to agree with that, actually. Because I'm a Christian. And I'll forgive her too.

Lweji · 25/10/2015 18:33

Forgive Loveandhate, to be specific.

Anniegetyourgun · 25/10/2015 18:34

the fact that you haven't dealt with the arm-jabbing yet says a lot more about you than it does about him

Yes. It says she has good manners. It does not say the same about him.

On my planet the onus is on random bods not to poke other people, not on the pokee to object. Most people start from the assumption that others' personal space should be respected. It's also rather difficult to make a fuss if you are a junior employee being poked, preached at or otherwise irritated by a consultant who is best mates with the Big Boss. If he does keep doing it she is probably going to have to say something polite but firm, but she shouldn't have to in the first place.

zoemaguire · 25/10/2015 18:34

Why are you telling me what I think loveandhate? The arrogance! I don't hate the notion of God at all as a matter of fact. I think an all-loving creator would be a mightily nice thing. It's just that I don't believe one exists, unfortunately.

Why is the bit about spreading the word more important than respecting others? You clearly think it is OK to make others unhappy and uncomfortable with your proselytising (which is what weirdo pokey bloke is doing to the op), which is an extremely unchristian idea if ever I heard one.

Anniegetyourgun · 25/10/2015 18:35

This is kind of reminiscent of the debate about cat-calling in the street, isn't it?

Lweji · 25/10/2015 18:37

Annoying and inappropriate as it might be, to call receiving an email referencing God 'bullying' is ridiculous!

emailed us his notes, with several quotes about God and Jesus, telling us to read them and "feel free to ask any questions". In a meeting the following day, he asked us what we thought of his email.

Certainly not ridiculous. He followed it up and later emailed "he hoped I would gain some insight that would assist me in my professional or personal life"
Plus the poking while trapping the OP.
It leads to an overall behaviour that can be classified as bullying.

Lweji · 25/10/2015 18:41

Be careful, Boney, although she won't appreciate my pointing it out here, LWEJI IS A CHRISTIAN

Oh, dear God, you outed me.

Lweji Sun 25-Oct-15 18:02:44
(...) and there are a few religious people on this thread agreeing with the OP, including myself

RedCheckedTablecloth · 25/10/2015 18:43

It is an interesting post. The boss believes totally in his belief and everyone else needs to be 'saved' somehow.

With a colleague you can deflect or ignore with a boss it is different and awkward to broach the subject.

I wouldn't provoke an argument because it is pointless.

I worked for six years in a company with two hard line Baptists directors (hell fire and damnation kinda thing).

They thought nothing of expecting me to work all hours but had no understanding that I had to go home to shop, cook, iron, clean etc because their wives stayed at home and did all that for them.

If I was gay and had a 'wife' that would have appalled them too!

I left in the end. Neither of them were good people and one of them was so 'dubious' I am waiting for his name to appear in the papers one day........

honestpointofview · 25/10/2015 18:46

Loveandhate - Employer lawyer here - it is acceptable to dismiss someone for pushing religious beliefs on otherwise. Before you ask you are not sacking them because of their religion but because of the way they manifest that belief. That has been tested by the courts.If for example you pray at work that is fine but forcing religion on those (such as sending emails) is a misconduct or some other substantial reason for dismissal.

whataboutbob · 25/10/2015 18:48

Years ago I worked in an NHS team which I gradually realised had evangelical christians at the top: the consultant, the head nurse, several of the senior nurses. Over the years it was clear who was favoured, got their MScs funded etc. He did bring his religion into the workplace, gave jobs to buddies etc. It was all a little sleazy (just in the same way as it would be if you only employed/ promoted people who shared your political beliefs). I think he was on a massive ego trip and eventually it got noticed in NHS management circles. Not just/ or even the religion thing but various examples of unprofessionalism. When challenged he went off sick for 6 months.
Phew, sorry to hijack, good to get that off my chest.

LoveAndHate · 25/10/2015 18:54

I 'outed' you because Boney said Christians should be pitied... and she was saying this to a Christian

LoveAndHate · 25/10/2015 18:57

Believe me honest, the man in question is not going to be sacked for his email; his boss hired him for his Christian and professional qualities probably. I can see that the super-sensitive and hugely intolerant OP would be the first to leave that workplace Smile

Lweji · 25/10/2015 18:58

I didn't take it that way. Rather that a Christian would appreciate pity more than a report and a slap on the hand.
And as I pointed out, I had mentioned it earlier on the thread.

Anyway, I hope you got the message from the employment expert.

At my previous work in the UK, it was forbidden to use the email for religious or political messages, as well as to use the internet to surf religious and political sites. For a good reason.
Having said that, we had a multifaith room, where people of faith could go and do whatever they pleased.

Lweji · 25/10/2015 19:00

But if she is dismissed because of her complaints about this man, I expect she is in for a good pay out.

lorelei9 · 25/10/2015 19:12

lweji, just curious, you mention a multi-faith room in a previous work place. Was that the official name for it, or was it a designated "quiet room"?

(not that I've ever come across a designated "noisy" room, lol)

honestpointofview · 25/10/2015 19:14

LoveAndhate i agree it is unlikely that the person in question will be sacked. I disagree that she is being super-sensitive. The email was one thing - the "apology" was another. It wasn't an apology at all.

honestpointofview · 25/10/2015 19:15

Lweji - Agreed if she were dismissed because of complaint - it would be because of her belief - ie not believing in god/maybe whistleblowing. Either way a reasonable claim.

honestpointofview · 25/10/2015 19:17

Lrelei9 - Multi-faith rooms are quite common in large employers and called exactly that. P.s oh i wish i had a noisy room at work that would be brilliant.

SuburbanRhonda · 25/10/2015 19:17

the super-sensitive and hugely intolerant OP

So the OP should tolerate behaviour in the workplace that is forbidden by law?

GeekLove · 25/10/2015 19:22

Religion is very much like a penis. you can be proud of it, fond of it, you can play with it.

But it is best for everyone not to thrust it down peoples throats...

Lweji · 25/10/2015 19:24

Yes, it was designated a "multifaith" room.

We had a noisy room. It was called "the bar". Grin Although the canteen and most common areas were quite noisy too.

honestpointofview · 25/10/2015 19:26

Geeklover - that is brilliant - I was drinking a glass of milk as i read that out. Almost spat it out...

lorelei9 · 25/10/2015 19:30

lweji - I know Love&Hate will be around spewing bile the minute I say this - but I'll just ignore it as I have to ask....what was the deal with the multi-faith room? Could you go in there and have a quiet moment if you didn't have a faith? I also wonder where that sits within the law, so to speak? What I'm thinking is, a designated "quiet room" where people can go to pray or meditate doesn't exclude anyone. A multi-faith room excludes those of no faith - I don't know if or how laws on religious discrimination apply to those of no religion.

Honest - I think in most offices, the whole place is the noisy room! Grin

I vote for a "quiet room" and a "run around screaming" room. At different ends of the building, obvs. One place I worked was so busy we wanted to hire a banshee because so much screaming needed to be done but there wasn't any time to actually do it.

DadOnIce · 25/10/2015 19:31

My point about pink unicorns is that they are just as (un)likely to be true as God.

Thankfully, it doesn't really matter in the end what this person at work believes, because the laws of the Universe are not determined by people's beliefs, only by what is true. People believe all sorts of superstitious nonsense - the Egyptians used to believe that the sun was pushed through the sky by a giant beetle, for example. They all contradict each other, so they can't all be right. All that matters is evidence. If there's no evidence for something, it isn't "true".

The question is whether they should be pushing this agenda at work, to which of course the answer should be a resounding No.

SwedishEdith · 25/10/2015 19:32

I think LoveAndHate has just converted me.