Lweji that's good. I'm going to dodge work by telling parables of the horror I used to work with.
Warning: this one is long.
I'm going to call her A because to call her GodSquad, which is what we did call her, would be insulting to the millions of lovely Christians and other people of faith out there. But we did call her that. In our defence, we were sorely tested and we were weak. For that we will face the fiery pits.
I think A had differing scores according to people she could convert, a bit like a celestial game of darts.
I was a woman taken in sin, there was a gay man but the bullseye would have been the Jewish girl. Triple top for her extended family.
A's non-Jewish stepfather had cancer. She'd talked about it lots and it was clear that it was very serious indeed. She came in one day to say that his bone marrow transplant, their last hope, hadn't worked.
We said the things you would expect and then A said: 'I will pray for you and for him and your mother. There's a church I know of near you and I've asked them to include you in their prayers too.'
We were all extremely humbled and ashamed. Like I said, she'd done so much that it's fair to say everyone hated her guts, but this was a lovely thing to say and we felt really shitty.
The Jewish girl, who I'm going to call B, was close to tears at this.
She said: 'A, we've never been friends, but thank you. I'm going to tell my mum and step-dad about you. It means so much.'
A then gave B the address of the church and opening times and said that they'd be expecting her.
B said, in that kind of jokey way that Jewish people are renowned for 
: 'I don't know whether you've ever noticed, but I'm Jewish.'
She even did a comedy north London Jewish accent and waggled her hands. It was funny, even though she was crying.
A said: 'Yes, I know, but this is the church.'
B said, a bit puzzled: 'That's really nice of you A, but as I said, we're Jewish and if we were religious we would go to a synagogue. But we're not. My mum and he preferred to put their faith in the doctors and so do I. It hasn't worked out.'
A asked: 'So you're not going to go?' and B said: 'No.'
A then said: 'We'll continue to pray for your stepfather but if you don't go...' 
I don't know how B kept her hands off her.
Her stepfather died. Just as A foretold.