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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the mum should tell me if her dd is poorly?

14 replies

CaramelSm1les · 25/10/2015 11:50

I sometimes watch dd's friend whilst her mum works on a weekend . It's difficult for her as her family don't live nearby and she doesn't know many people around here.

The little girl is a pleasure to watch and she is great friends with my dd.

DD's friend slept over last night ; she was up coughing through the night and felt a bit hot. Generally she was ok, but I did notice a prickly type red rash over her body .

I text her mum this morning and mentioned it to her . I've just had a reply confirming her dd has had some kind of bacterial fever but she is no longer contagious as she is taking anti biotics ! Shock

I'm very annoyed about this . I have two younger DC and I'm going for an operation in a few days .

If the little girl is no longer contagious, then I would still have been happy to help out , but the mum should at least have given me the choice to decide for myself ! [anger]

Is there a chance the rest of us are going to get it?

AIBU or a bit precious ?

OP posts:
AliceInUnderpants · 25/10/2015 12:09

YANBU, you should have been aware the girl was taking antibiotics as the mother should have given you the antibiotics to administer!!

Junosmum · 25/10/2015 12:11

Yanbu!

AnotherTimeMaybe · 25/10/2015 12:14

YANBU at all but if it's bacterial I don't think at this stage it's contagious anymore so you should be ok
Maybe up their vitamins at the moment to strengthen their immune just in case
Good luck with op

helensburgh · 25/10/2015 12:18

You will be fine if it's bacterial.

I'd question that though.

Completely agree with you contagious or not she should be at home with her mum

Original poster
CaramelSm1les · 25/10/2015 12:21

I do get why she needed the childcare - she's worried about her job as it is , without taking more time off .

I just thought she would have mentioned it Angry

I have since asked the mum when her daughter started the medication and she said Friday night Hmm

The Dr told her that after 24 hours she is no longer infectious Hmm

Am I being naive or is this true ?

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 25/10/2015 12:38

Most ABs need 4 doses a day. If the girls slept over and hasn't had her ABs, then I would worry that her mother hasn't been giving her the correct dosage and that the infection isn't being treated effectively so anything about not being infectious after 24 hours may well be wrong.
I think the mother is playing you for a fool because she needs you to care for her child. I realise she is under pressure, but you need to speak to her very firmly about her behaviour and think long and hard if you are happy about carrying on the caring arrangement.

pigsDOfly · 25/10/2015 12:39

Well the mother is clearly not giving the child the AB regularly if the child was with you for any length of time and the mother didn't ask you to administer them.

I suspect she was hoping you wouldn't notice that her DD was unwell and didn't want to bring it to your attention.

I'd be very angry about this too.

Depending on the type of infection most thing will no longer be infectious 24 to 48 hours after starting AB.

Rivercam · 25/10/2015 12:39

I definitely think that the mum should have told you, and probably should have kept her at home, especially as you are having an op soon.

pigsDOfly · 25/10/2015 12:40

XP with Perspicacia

TheWanderingUterus · 25/10/2015 12:46

Is it scarlatina? I'd be pretty cross if it was, it can have some nasty complications. Its highly contagious in the early stages through sneezing/coughing.
DD had a mild dose and I caught it off her and was really quite unwell for several weeks. The rash took months to go.

YANBU, she should have told you and if you had agreed to take her then given you the antibiotics.

Scarletforya · 25/10/2015 13:30

How is she taking antibiotics if she was at your house overnight with no mention of them?

YellowDinosaur · 25/10/2015 13:47

I don't know how any of us can be expected to know if she's likely to be contagious since all we know is that she had some type of infection causing coughing and a rash and requiring antibiotics. That could cover all manner of things!

Yanbu though that her mum should have told you and she would almost certainly have needed antibiotics while she was with you. It would make me think very hard about whether I was happy to continue with this childcare arrangement that.

sadwidow28 · 25/10/2015 14:29

YANBU

I often looked after DN for weekends and holidays. I have no children, so that wasn't an issue when DN was ill. But I did need fore-warning that he might need extra attention, medication administered and could be extra restless during the night. It was then up to me if I decided to go ahead with the weekend sleep-over or not. I always did because I felt I was capable of looking after him - but my decisions would have been different if I had my own DCs to consider.

Fugghetaboutit · 25/10/2015 15:58

Have you actually said 'next time can you tell me if she's ill' so you get to decide if you want to take on an ill child.

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