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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your DC cannot be trusted alone in

27 replies

canyou · 23/10/2015 20:03

A car you don't leave them even for 2 minutes.
The whole front of our shop has been destroyed when DC's aged 8,5 and 3 where messing in a car while their Dad came into pay, The DC got out of their seats and were play fighting and knocked the gears out of park , (car has no actual handbrake but a button thing)The car rolled straight into a bin, hitting a window and double glass door. Dc are ok but car front and shop are in shit. Thankfully no one was walking in front of the car or inside the door/window. The Dad said oops oh well no one was hurt he was shocked I asked for his insurance detailsHmm I am stuck at work having had to beg my child minder to stay on while I wait for soneone to try and make the shop exterior secure. All the petrol pumps had to be turned off as well as the car glanced off a pump.
The DC Dad cannot see why we are so angry as Kids will be kidsAngry i should be at home with wineSad

OP posts:
cariadlet · 23/10/2015 20:15

Poor you. That must have given you a hell of a shock. Of course kids who behave like that shouldn't have been left unsupervised. If the Dad didn't even have the decency to apologise to you, it must have made the situation feel ten times worse. I'd have been mortified and would be completely grovelling if my dd had been responsible for something like that.

Senpai · 23/10/2015 20:19

Isn't it illegal to leave children unattended in a car? Or is that just a US thing?

No point in being angry with him, he'll be knocked to his senses when he sees the massive insurance hike if they don't drop him after this and possible child endangerment charges. It's going to be a slow burn for him over the next 7 years until this incident is dropped off his insurance record.

Why on earth you would leave your child alone with a $35k piece of machinery unattended is beyond me.

Original poster
canyou · 23/10/2015 20:25

I am not sure about leaving DC in yhe car being legal or not but tbh at tgat age I am sure most of us have done it. But my DC would not get out of their car seats never mind play fight in the car But then I might be very strictBlush
TBH it is the Dads attitude that has me shocked

OP posts:
Junosmum · 23/10/2015 20:27

Senpai - so in the US you can't get fuel and go to the shop to pay and leave your kids in the car? It certainly isn't illegal here in the UK. Stupid though if your kids are like that! Not surprising though with the attitude of the father!

Original poster
canyou · 23/10/2015 20:29

In the US anywhere I have driven we paid at the pumps ?

OP posts:
PoundingTheStreets · 23/10/2015 20:31

I think it's an accident. Could be a genuine one (e.g. DC normally ok) or symptomatic of a lack of parental supervision generally. Who knows? His attitude could have been defensive out of shock, just as you're feelings shocked now. Quite scary for everyone involved. It could have been so, so much worse.

All that said, it is undoubtedly his responsibility to make good the repairs and no way should you - the completely innocent party in this - be left feeling the worst about it.

Hope you're ok. Flowers

Original poster
canyou · 23/10/2015 20:34

My boss told me to open wine so I will pass aroundWineWineWine tbh the kids are a bit wild but I never thought they were silly

OP posts:
Original poster
canyou · 23/10/2015 20:35

Still waiting for a carpenter to try and board up the front.

OP posts:
wannaBe · 23/10/2015 20:37

An eight year old is old enough to know better than to mess about in the car. The five and three year olds should have been left restrained. Or they shouldn't have been left at all. I'm guessing he left them in the car because he can't control them in an open space such as a shop.

We were frequently left in the car as children, we wouldn't have dared mess about in the front.

Even shock is no excuse for the father's attitude. Children will be children? wtf? Angry

Enjoy your Wine later op.

greenhill · 23/10/2015 20:40

That's shocking and could have been a lot worse. If anyone remembers The World According to Garp, really bad things happen when a car coasts with children in it

I'm glad no one was hurt, and hope everything gets sorted soon.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 23/10/2015 20:42

the father is an idiot.

whether or not the DC usually behave Ok and can be trusted to sit still is irrelevant. He is lucky neither they nor anyone else were seriously hurt, and does not even appear to be taking it seriously and apologising profusely, never mind thanking his lucky stars no one was killed!
I hope to goodness he has insurance!

yeOldeTrout · 23/10/2015 20:43

I think it's one of those things some people only learn the hard way.

Really glad we don't have the "can't leave 'em alone in a car" law here in UK.

LadyLonely1 · 23/10/2015 20:45

Sounds like a bunch of brats. Yanbu

ohtheholidays · 23/10/2015 20:48

The father is obviously a Dick!
What a flaming nightmare,I hope your okay OP.Like you said it was very lucky know one was walking past or the emergency services could have been dealing with a fatality.

I hope the shock has given the parent/parents a kick up the arse about they're parenting.

drspouse · 23/10/2015 20:49

I'm a Guide leader and a Guider acquaintance went to get her car mended, a family was there and failing to control their three DC meaning the workshop was having to stop work due to lack of safety (I imagine even where there is a waiting room they can get out of the door). The Guider got her musical instruments out of her car and held an impromptu campfire, enabling the workshop to get back to work.
Moral: either control your children, or travel with a full Guider car of equipment.

Snossidge · 23/10/2015 20:50

I've often wondered if it's a good idea for cars to no longer have actual handbrakes - they seem much more secure, much more difficult to accidentally take off.

RJnomaaaaaargh · 23/10/2015 20:51

It isn't illegal but given he put the children at risk as he misjudged their ability then the police could be interested.

It's a very great area. It's down to parental judgement until it all goes wrong.

Original poster
canyou · 23/10/2015 20:53

I need a Guide leader for the pre and post school rush good idea drspouseGrin tbh it is shocking how parents just switch off . We have been left a few new borns in car seats and toddlers Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
canyou · 23/10/2015 20:54

Hopefully the insurance shock will result in better parenting

OP posts:
Mintyy · 23/10/2015 20:57

Yanbu! The father should have been utterly full of remorse and apologies! Why was he shocked when you asked for his details - did he just think your insurance would cover it all? What an absolute idiot.

GnomeDePlume · 23/10/2015 21:16

Being cynical, is it possible that the father left the handbrake off himself?

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 23/10/2015 21:27

I think most garages have a step to prevent this, or bollards? Why was it able to happen?

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 23/10/2015 23:43

Have you got home yet, op?

Senpai · 24/10/2015 06:48

Senpai - so in the US you can't get fuel and go to the shop to pay and leave your kids in the car? It certainly isn't illegal here in the UK. Stupid though if your kids are like that! Not surprising though with the attitude of the father!

You pay at the pumps over here. Or you take your child in. You have to keep in mind though that we get 97* Fahrenheit and higher in the summer very easily. A quick trip to pay with the car off could land your child in the hospital if you get caught up in line. Kids die every year because parents leave them in the car over here. So we've had several campaigns and it's illegal to leave a child in there.

Brioche201 · 24/10/2015 06:53

I think it's an accident and no one is really to blame.