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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About expectations of nursery for a baby

130 replies

Saladeeta · 22/10/2015 22:05

DD has been at nursery for a month now.

Its a lovely charity run nursery.

My elder dd didn't go to nursery till 2.5 so maybe I'm just not used to it. We've moved areas so couldn't use the old nursery. I am hugely respectful of the wonderful job early years professionals do- I'm just not sure if my expectations are wrong for nursery for a baby this age (11 months).

I often got there and despite the weather she's been changed but not had a vest put on, despite spares.
She's come home with quite bad nappy rash, next day they tell me to bring more cream but it turns out they've misplaced it and then not using any despite the soreness.
Key worker often not in the room as covers other parts of the nursery, looks bewildered when I looked concerned.
Different staff members in the room most days, noone gets up to take my baby, even someone does come up,they don't introduce themselves.
I arrive to find her outside in the garden at half five with a streaming cold without her waterproof suit thingy she's got, bottom and legs wet.
Staff pranking each other, laughing about how toys were put in their cars with vodka bottles. This is on site, in front of parents during work hours.
They have put DD to sleep in the bouncer for naps despite me repeatedly asking them not to.
Dirty milk bottles left about over night.
Filthy and I mean filthy bumbo seats uncleaned.
They haven't listened to me about how she eats, IE picking up little bits off the tray at a time and keep telling me how she's a fussy eater and won't eat anything. She's not fussy at home remotely.

Do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:
LucyMouse · 22/10/2015 22:07

If I were you I would be looking for an alternative.

confusedandemployed · 22/10/2015 22:09

I'm a fairly lax parent and that doesn't sound great tbh.

Jelliebabe1 · 22/10/2015 22:09

Errrrrrr no don't get a grip, get a new nursery! Sounds awful!

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 22/10/2015 22:10

A grip is needed.
Not for you though.

Ask to see their policy documents.

Then question each of the points you raised above.

A missing vest as a one off. Yeah, could easily be tangled in something else.

The rest, not so easy to explain away...

Purplepoodle · 22/10/2015 22:11

Omg look for another nursery. I at least expect a member of staff to come and take (peel) dc3 off me. Being wet outside is not on, neither is hygiene issues.

Go for a properly run daycare or childminder

Saladeeta · 22/10/2015 22:11

Its ofstead outstanding and highly recommended by other parents and in fact trains other nurseries... Maybe I should try speaking to the management about this particular room? Or run for the hills

OP posts:
QueenofLouisiana · 22/10/2015 22:12

I wouldn't be handing you a grip, I'd be handing you prospectuses for other nurseries.

My DS was in nursery from 13 months, nothing like this ever happened. It was always clean, DS was clean and sweet smelling when I collected him (usually, very recent poos couldn't always be detected before I got there!). Lovely spare room next door full of cots for naps.

PoppyPopTart · 22/10/2015 22:12

OP I worked in a nursery for many years. I would have been slaughtered if any of those things were allowed to happen (except for the keyworker covering in other rooms- sometimes this has to be done if other rooms are busy and need more staff)

The different staff each day thing sounds like they have a high staff turnover- this is not a good thing and a sign of a badly run nursery (speaking from experience)

YANBU I would request an urgent meting with the manager or find childcare elsewhere.

TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee · 22/10/2015 22:13

That's grim.

I'd remove DD immediately.

Fuck that.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 22/10/2015 22:14

No. No your not. The wee soul - the garden thing particularly has made me feel upset. That is not good enough at all. Your DD can't speak obviously so I think you need to be extra vigilante in situations like that.

In assuming DD has to go to let you go to work? If not, I'd take her out and just have a break for a bit

BackforGood · 22/10/2015 22:15

Same here - I would be looking elsewhere. No, your expectations aren't too high.
I might also ask OFSTED how it can be outstanding with your list of things that clearly aren't being done well.

Notcontent · 22/10/2015 22:15

Yes, look for a different nursery.

My dd went to a small private nursery for a few when she was a baby and I had similar issues. Sleeping in bouncy chair, not very clean, etc.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 22/10/2015 22:15

Oh and my DS (nearly 3) goes to
Nursery 3 afternoons a week and had done since 16 months. I've never seen anything like what you describe

Saladeeta · 22/10/2015 22:15

Yes I have to work ... She does seem happy for me to leave her but I get mixed reports IE room leader told me she's often angry, key worker says she's fine in herself Sad

OP posts:
Pico2 · 22/10/2015 22:16

Outstanding nurseries don't always stay outstanding. I'd move her.

Aspergallus · 22/10/2015 22:16

Horrendous.

I've moved a lot over the past 5 years so have used a range of childcare. That sounds horrendous. Much worse than the very worst I've experienced. Is the babyroom an afterthought? Perhaps toddlers/preschool is better? Let the management know.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 22/10/2015 22:17

angry Confused? An 11 month old baby?! Hmm

I wouldn't bother with the manager. There are systemic problems there. Definitely find a new nursery

Saladeeta · 22/10/2015 22:18

My biggest concerns are that they aren't prioritising attachment; that they aren't caring for her physical health appropriately; and that it is dirty and disorganised, frankly.

OP posts:
Saladeeta · 22/10/2015 22:20

Angry was from the room leader- weird right.

OP posts:
BondJayneBond · 22/10/2015 22:22

None of this sounds good, especially if these things are happening frequently.

The only one of those I've come across at my DC's nursery is workers who are usually based in e.g. the toddler room covering e.g. the pre-school room. And that's an occasional thing.

jendot2 · 22/10/2015 22:27

I would say ALWAYS go with your gut feelings. I have worked in a few nurseries and the amazing ones are a million miles away from the rubbish ones. All the things you have said would concern me, sleeping in a bouncy chair...at 11months...sounds downright dangerous! Picky eater, angry, high staff turnover, no one taking her from you ....these are the 'best bits' you are seeing. What's happening for the rest of the day!!
Ofsted outstanding means their paperwork and ability to plan and sell themselves during an argument inspection is excellent... It doesn't mean the day to day care is outstanding.

Guiltismymaster · 22/10/2015 22:27

The part about the nappy rash and the dirty bottles rings alarm bells for me. The latter being totally unacceptable.
It's one of those things that is hard to comment on unless you see it first hand. What does your gut say?
My first was much younger when he started and I didn't have any problems.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 22/10/2015 22:32

I was a baby room Leader for 10yrs. I would say look for another nursery ASAP. The things you have listed are completely unexceptable! Makes me so mad there are nurseries like this getting outstanding ofsted reports.
Apart from the keyword in different room, this is sometimes unavoidable unfortunately. (Although if it's a regular thing that is also wrong) the things you have listed are appalling conduct.

Saladeeta · 22/10/2015 22:35

My gut says it's not good enough but I'm worried about changing in case she gets really unsettled and upset and all those things Sad

OP posts:
MsPavlichenko · 22/10/2015 22:41

I'd move nursery, and report. Too many red flags. Angry baby? Upset, and neglected possibly. (not trying to make you feel bad ).