To ask why Childrens Centres have a 'bad rep'?

[stqueen]

I try to do as many activities with my young DD as possible, some of which have been at the heavily promoted (by MW & HV) local children's centre - which incidentally is a brand new building, great facilities etc.

We attended a 6-week baby yoga course which, prior to my HV informing me about it, I was going to do elsewhere at cost. This course was free & high quality (good teaching, age appropriate etc.) Having a chat with the tutor at the end this weeks session, I asked why more people don't attend (tutor mentioned take up rates for some other sessions is low also). I think there was capacity for 10 per session but only 4-6 attend, it varies week by week. I was told unfortunately many CCs have a stigma attached & (not my words) a 'bad reputation'. This was met with knowing nods from some of the other mums. The conversation then swiftly moved on.

The reason the HV apparently promote these centres & their activities so heavily is because they may be closed if they don't get certain levels of usage.

So, AIBU for asking why the bloody hell these places have a so called stigma attached? I cannot see why this would be the case - they offer some great sessions for all age groups, nice facilities, experienced staff.

I think it's because they have been situated in areas deemed to have higher levels of social need - but they are brilliant

I made a fantastic bunch of mates when I had my last baby - through baby yoga and baby signing - all at SS - great places

Because round here you have to be invited to use them- aiming at those with social need first, which is fine in principle problem is that they're then not taken up enough and they close ... Why it's not an open to all and voluntary donation or sign up X places I have no idea

They are brilliant and there are many in all types of areas round here. BUT I get the impression they lean heavily towards supporting families "in need"- and of course such families need the support but that's probably where it comes from.

I don't know, the ones in my city don't have a bad rep and the playgroups are always packed. Lots of the groups are invitation only.

Packed full of posh older mums here, availing themselves of the free high quality classes and support. Scares the teenage mums away - the very ones the place was built to support.

They are set up in areas of high deprivation and attendance at them is something social services promote and monitor for their service users. At one point social services were working with over 60% of attendees at one particular children's centre (not including the drop in baby clinic sessions)

Because the parents are poor and rough and need teaching how to drag their kids up proper like.

You clearly know why they have a bad reputation, yawn at the wide eyed innocence.

I love ours, they have the best biscuits.

Because they were originally aimed at deprived areas. But it's beside the point, because despite being aimed at deprived families, all families were allowed to and supposed to use them because it's about bringing the community together, not isolating a "poor people's playgroup".

There is also a belief by some people that children's centres are some kind of spy centres for social services and that if "they" witness you doing something "wrong" there they might take your kids away.

I think that one is probably because they are run by people trained in child protection whereas your local church playgroup or whatever isn't necessarily, and the children's centres try to support mums so if they notice somebody is struggling they might offer advice or support, and this is taken as "interfering" by some. And they also tend to offer more guided sessions than other centres, which probably exist just as a playgroup, not as a safety net. But it's still odd.

Then there was a lot of furore and publicity about 5-8 years ago (when my DS was little) because "too many middle class people" were using them and it was basically seen as a waste of government funds because the people who they were aimed at weren't using them and the "yummy mummies" were getting totally funded classes which they "could have paid for". According to the tories, who promptly slashed the CC budget, which closed huge swathes of them. Despite the fact that "middle class mums" might have needed the groups too, and they were doing a hell of a lot of good in some areas, I don't disbelieve that some clients were less "needy" than others, but it wasn't a good argument to close them all, IMO.

I went to a local Sure Start and spent an hour wiping down the plastic outdoor play equipment in the cold and rain with a few other mugs while the organisers / regulars drank tea and ignored my crying autistic child.

Because they are underfunded and staffed by underqualified people. They are a tick box exercise who get a bit scared when Naice MC Mummies turned up with their expectation and questions.

I loved my local one but felt a bit shit when they implied that the 'wrong' parents were using it (ie middle class people like me). I do get their point but it was a life-saver to do classes there with DC2 after lots of isolation when I had DC1. Not all middle-class mums are having a great time of it.
They also pissed me off when they started segregating their play sessions by gender to let boys play boisterously without upsetting the little princesses (paraphrasing but not by much!!)

My local one is falling apart and mostly now used as a base for the local midwife antenatal appointments. Very few classes or groups at all. In all honesty I wouldn't have gone to any groups had there been any on offer because it's not an area I tend to socialise in, all my friends were based in my old area so I tended to go across the city and hang out with them instead. Now the toddler is in school I don't have to socialise much at all, much better:o

Gearing towards high deprivation / families in need makes sense to me. If this is the reason these places have a stigma and a bad rep though (thereby potentially putting new parents off attending) it seems a little prejudiced - perception is a funny thing. DDs development, stimulation & to get out of the house. is why I do it so I couldn't give a shit who else attends the sessions.

The local ones here are open to everyone & you need to book onto most courses on a first come first served basis so presumably they reach out to vulnerable/in need parents & give them first dibs on places.

Leccy is spot on for our local one. Though they have some invitation only groups for particular demographics.

But I can think of a few mothers I've met in the open to everyone group who have turned up once and not seemed to fit into the middle-class, average aged, two parent families who regularly attend.

I never used ours because it was made clear it wasn't 'really meant for people like you' .

I enquired when I went to a me appointment. Prior to that I didn't know it existed. I filled in some paperwork and apparently i didn't fit the demographic it was aimed at. So my assumption was it was only focused to those In need of a bit of extra help.

Except my Disabled sil was apparently told it wasn't for her either when she went and enquired 3 years a go. Then it closed. Tbh, I wasn't surprised.

Dd went to school close to the centre and non of the mothers used it either. They felt unwelcome or that they were being constantly judged. It was a catholic school with a church attached, who let us use the meeting rooms and we made our own mothers and toddlers group, twice a week. It was fun.

Our area has a great network of CC and I volunteer at mine. So do a lot of others I know, you get to give something back. Ive learnt so much from mine and met lots of friends, but then there isn't reverse snobbery operating here.

the sooner everyone in this country realises we are all equal no matter age, sex, class, race, religion then these silly stigmas wouldn't persist and all parents from all backgrounds will feel able to sit in a room together and realise every baby poos and hardly ever sleeps and you are all going through the same daily battles.

I think they should be open to all as it is a great chance for people to mix. They have to work a bit harder to reach those in need but not a reason not to have them.

The Tories closed a number of centres down - the one nearest me is just sitting there slowly crumbling. What a waste of a building.

AFAIK the funding depends on them reaching a "hard to reach" demographic, so whilst theoretically they're open to all, if they suddenly get colonised by MC mums they've got a problem because they wont hit their funding targets. There's been a lot of publicity around closures, but if they haven't succeeded in reaching the target population, then they havent been successful. Time to try a different approach. I was a trustee of a charity that got a grant to do outreach with a certain underrepresented demographic. We couldn't get enough engagement, so lost the funding. Fair enough.

Ours was brilliant. It made my dc's baby hoods. It's where I met people with similar age children, made some lifelong friends and got much needed support as a new parent. I'm the type of parent that everyone has complained about upthread - older, MC mum. I was also a terrified first time mum, 300 miles from my own mum, with no experience of looking after a baby or raising a child. I had no friends locally and could have easily dissappeared into a void of rural isolation. The children's centre helped me through that, then supported us further when dh was made redundant when dc2 was 4 weeks old. Income, education, social class have no bearing on your ability as a parent.

Forgot to say - they closed last year. V little now for parents of preschoolers, and mostly rather costly.

They were a lifesaver when DD was little. But I remember that one popular group had to close because the attendees were too MC, which we were all a bit miffed about. (It wasn't always popular - no-one had been crowded out.) It did make me feel like I wasn't supposed to use the children's centres, when I really needed that support.

I think it's a shame other posters have had such a bad experience, cc can be great when done well. Our local cc was open to all except for two sessions a week which were for young parents or travellers respectively. It was a lovely friendly place with great playgroups and classes. It closed down last month despite local protests because of cut backs and is missed by everyone.

The only one I know of round here is in an area I wouldn't venture into through choice.