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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask why Childrens Centres have a 'bad rep'?

89 replies

stqueen · 22/10/2015 21:50

I try to do as many activities with my young DD as possible, some of which have been at the heavily promoted (by MW & HV) local children's centre - which incidentally is a brand new building, great facilities etc.

We attended a 6-week baby yoga course which, prior to my HV informing me about it, I was going to do elsewhere at cost. This course was free & high quality (good teaching, age appropriate etc.) Having a chat with the tutor at the end this weeks session, I asked why more people don't attend (tutor mentioned take up rates for some other sessions is low also). I think there was capacity for 10 per session but only 4-6 attend, it varies week by week. I was told unfortunately many CCs have a stigma attached & (not my words) a 'bad reputation'. This was met with knowing nods from some of the other mums. The conversation then swiftly moved on.

The reason the HV apparently promote these centres & their activities so heavily is because they may be closed if they don't get certain levels of usage.

So, AIBU for asking why the bloody hell these places have a so called stigma attached? I cannot see why this would be the case - they offer some great sessions for all age groups, nice facilities, experienced staff.

OP posts:

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 23/10/2015 07:12

Ours is pretty good. Good facilities/equipment. Some of the groups are free, some have visiting franchises in who charge for their sessions. They also do some groups 'by invitation only'. I didn't realise ours had a stigma attached until a group that was based elsewhere moved over to the Surestart due to better facilities and a lot of the regulars refused to go any more. Also, apparently some feel like they're being 'watched' by the HV's who have an office there.

Lemonfizzypop · 23/10/2015 07:13

This is interesting, there are a couple near me and I've been trying to idly google to find out what classes they offer (I'm due any day now so just seeing what's about) but it's impossible to find any info! I didn't think anything of it but perhaps it's an invite-only kind of thing too.

NerrSnerr · 23/10/2015 07:13

Ours are brilliant. We did baby massage, a baby group and I did a sewing course when on maternity leave. I had just moved to this area after having a really bad time so I feel the centre helped me stay well during those early months.

PegsPigs · 23/10/2015 07:16

I've seen Children's Centres from both side, as a new parent and working in the relevant part of the local authority. As someone who has tried to work with them professionally some are a real shambles and have no idea how to reach the hard to reach and no outcomes measurements to understand if they're making a difference. I did a teenage parents project in a wealthy area with pockets of poverty and not one of the 3 Children's Centres could refer any parents to me. I found them through Connexions (as was) and referred the parents to them instead!

As a parent I liked the one I was affiliated to but since the recommissioning our new one isn't as good. The veg bags our CCs offer are great at the weaning stage and the baby group was lovely but then I am MC!

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 23/10/2015 07:16

Meant to say I live in a village with a pretty varied demographic. There aren't many other places for new mums to go (one church based playgroup).

Obs2015 · 23/10/2015 07:28

Because they are so awful, so judgemental, under resourced so unable to help, later implying that you are an unfit mother. Truly awful.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 23/10/2015 07:29

Because they are so awful, so judgemental, under resourced so unable to help, later implying that you are an unfit mother. Truly awful.

I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience. Ours really isn't like that.

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 23/10/2015 07:38

I think they are a good idea, but to work as intended will take more than just a few years and they have to be run properly. If the govt. are just going to let them run down and then go "look, they don't work" then it's pointless. They could be great, but I don't think they fit into 'austerity' plans.

Our local one runs various courses, plus things like baby sign, and the MW booking clinic is run from there too.

I'm sure that other things could be run from there as well, perhaps teaching parents basic exercises for speech therapy while they are waiting for an NHS appointment.

At childrens centre groups round here, there are no hot drinks allowed for the parents, which puts some people off.

bimandbam · 23/10/2015 07:55

Until ds was 11 months we attended our local cc which was based at dds school. It was lovely. We did baby massage and a few other things as well as used the weigh in sessions.

Then we moved to a new area and I enrolled at the local one. It was crap. I did the weigh and play session and was told ds was too old to stay and play. He wasn't even 1. So we came a week after to a normal play session and was told he was too young really as it was full of boisterous (unsupervised) toddlers and he would get knocked down.

So then I attended a breastfeeding session as I had a few questions about night weaning and thought I might make some new local friends. And thought I might be able to offer a bit of advice to new bfing mums and therefore maybe make some local friends.

I was told that these sessions were for new bfing mums and I should probably think about weaning completely if bfing wasn't suiting me anymore as I had done enough to get to 6 months.

I stopped using it after that.

Tywinlannister · 23/10/2015 08:06

The ones around here used to be amazing. I went almost every day to something (not everything as some sessions were not aimed at me or were invite only) We had 16 in our London borough. Some you didn't go to, not because of the rep but because the facilities of the others were amazing. We hired our local ones light room, soft play and sound garden for a birthday party. The more affluent area ones have closed now due to people not attending but the poorer area one I worked in was totally oversubscribed.

Tywinlannister · 23/10/2015 08:08

Plus I did baby yoga for free at mine, with the same teacher who charges £9 for 45 mins elsewhere!

SaucyJack · 23/10/2015 08:18

IME they tend to target the services to the area they are in. Ours is in a poor area so instead of naice classes like baby yoga or music groups we get drug/alcohol counselling and Jobseeker's stuff. Great (!)

Ours is a miserable place. The acoustics give it the ambience of a funeral parlour and the staff desk is situated right where they can and do sit and "observe" people.

I give it a wide berth.

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 23/10/2015 08:30

I live in a small village so the children's centre we have here is a sanity saver for me. It serves a few villages in the surrounding areas so the attendance is good.
I have never heard of children's centres having a bad reputation, the one here has wonderful staff and the centre runs some good courses.
The people who attend are a lovely bunch of mums and we get the occasional dad or grandparents, everyone gets on well and new parents are always welcomed into the group.
The attendance is low however for babies over 12 months as (full)maternity leave ends.

chibsortig · 23/10/2015 08:35

Ours isnt too bad offers a wide ranger of services however some of them completely useless to me having an under 1 and a 2 year old - she is just right for the prewalkers group but he is too old. He is just right for stay and play whereas she is too little really which kinda made me
However the other stuff on offer is pretty good we have adult education classes, Bf support group, potty parties for an intro to potty training, parent courses if they are needed, one on one support with outreach, weaning parties.
Its a real shame it's closing in April leaving us nothing in the area without having to travel to the nearest town.
Another empty building left in the area, we are still the same deprived area as when the centre first came 10+ years ago. It has a nursery attached so there's now around 50 children to find provision for too its chaos at the moment not to mention the staff needing new posts.

UbiquityTree · 23/10/2015 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 23/10/2015 08:47

I don't like the way the children's centre local to me (before I moved) operated.

They held a "Fun Day" advertised on posters locally for a week before...we went along and the day was merely a crappy attempt at getting people's names, numbers and addresses.

As you went in your child was accosted for a go on the free lucky dip and then offered the chance to win a box of goodies....which meant I had to sign a sheet with details on it.

All the day consisted of was that, a face painter and their usual things to do.

Pensfriends · 23/10/2015 08:49

Ours feels very unwelcoming. I was a volunteer at it for a good few months but then I fell while carrying DD and she (and I) were injured and had to attend a&e. Six weeks later one of the workers saw DDs now almost gone red mark and made me complete an injury form. I was a lot and haven't been back since.

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 23/10/2015 08:49

Apparently they're for the economically vulnerable, not other kinds of vulnerable.
Who told you that? UbiquityTree
It's a strange thing for someone to tell you.

Noodledoodledoo · 23/10/2015 08:57

I tried to attend ours for various things. The stay and play session aimed at my little ones age was slap bang in the middle of a sleep time 1:15-2:45 I don't think that's a particularly strange time for 4 months old to have a sleep!

I went to a introducing solids course which was very poor - so much so I actually complained. It seemed very poorly planned, jumped all over the place and we were all given a sample food diary for a 1 yr old, nothing else - all the babies where less than 6 months and not yet having anything other than milk! Basics were not covered - like the dangers of grapes/tomatoes etc.

I have lost a lot of respect for them recently as they seem to be on a mission to copy other classes which are being run independently and then making unfounded comments which have forced the other classes to close as halls have said they can no longer rent to them. A real case of sour grapes due to numbers not attending a CC class in the same place.

foxessocks · 23/10/2015 09:01

Love the ones near me. They have great groups and are run by really lovely people who offer advice if you want it but let.you get on with things if you don't. We have a wide range of people at all the ones near us and everyone seems to get on together. If a teenage mum did come along needing support I'm pretty certain she'd find it. After all at one of the groups I went to we were all first time mums so all clueless whatever age and background!

foxessocks · 23/10/2015 09:03

Or teenage dad of course. We get quire a lot of men at ours too which is great. It's there for whoever needs or wants it. We are always encouraged to attend things as they want it to be kept open. And also most of us who can do pay for sessions as there is usually a donation box.

Anastasie · 23/10/2015 09:04

Well, I can only describe the one I had to go to for ante natal appts.

It was grim.

The building was modern and bright but I had to wait in an entrance bit, and from there I could see the kitchen and the door to the childcare bit.

Randomly children would appear at the door and one time, some members of staff who seemed to be about 18 years old or so, came out to sit in the entrance bit with a child who was crying really badly.

I'm not sure what exactly it was, but their attitude was pretty bad. They were just having a teenage type conversation over the child - mainly ignoring it. There were about four of them.

It was like it didn't matter why the child was crying, no one seemed to care about that or want to engage with the child or anything.

Watching the person who seemed to be the chef in the kitchen, she, or he, I couldn't tell actually, had horrible greasy hair which wasn't covered, seemed not to want to be there, and was coughing loudly and disgustingly all over everything while they worked.

It sounded like they were seriously ill and shouldn't be at work let alone anywhere near a kitchen or small children. The sheer misery emanating from that direction was tangible.

So I declined the offer of childcare there.

I am sure it wasn't entirely representative of most children's centres. But there is no way on earth I'd have sent my children there.

OverScentedFanjo · 23/10/2015 09:05

Ours closed down. Very rural area and no toddler/baby groups nearby. Feel sad for all the mums who needed it and now have nowhere to go.

WyrdByrd · 23/10/2015 09:13

It's a shame so many people have had negative experiences.

Our local Centre is very good may be biased as I work there, but it has got a hell of a lot more difficult to provide the services needed/that we would like to since the arrival of Mr Cameron and his cronies.

It sticks in my craw massively that the 'middle class' are perceived not to need CFC's - disability, bereavement, SEN, isolation, PND etc don't respect your education and income levels, but sadly our government are too short sighted to realise that.

We are a great facility, but we were a better one imho when we didn't have to spend quite so much time jumping through hoops to meet targets and welcomed a wider range of people from all walks of life.

MummaV · 23/10/2015 09:25

We have quite a few in our city, only one of them is easily accessible for me as the others are not on public transport routes, I don't drive and they are all a good few miles from my house. They also dont seem to offer a lot. My local one has a weighing session and a BF clinic on a Thursday but nothing else there during the week. 2 rooms taken out of a school to be used for 2 hours once a week. Not exactly economical so I'm sure it'll close soon.
Looking at the activity listing for the others there really isn't a lot. One sensory play session, which a friend attended and advised me never to go as she could do better at home, and baby massage which is only subsidized for low income parents, it costs £15 for 4 weeks for everyone else. I'm not classed as low income apparently but I can't afford it.
Everything else is aimed at children 18m+ according to their leaflets which is no use with a 6mo.

I think it all depends on the area.

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